Anyone here shy and/or reserved?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Kit05, Mar 3, 2010.

  1. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member


    dancingirldancing, this is one of the most touching things that I have ever read in Dance Forums. It is amazing how you can feel like almost a wholly different person when you dance. This meant a lot to me, what you wrote here...
     
  2. foxtrot

    foxtrot New Member

    Like so many people here, I am also naturally shy and reserved. The shyness I've had to address through work (doing presentations etc.) But that doesn't address the reserved part of my personality (i.e letting go a bit more and going with the flow). I started ballroom and latin lessons because I thought that it would help me express myself more. I really wouldn't have learnt latin at all except that it sort of came with the package (i.e. once you start learning one discipline you tend to find yourself learning the other).

    The thing that has surprised me about latin is how disciplined it is. Even hip movement can initially be achieved through applying a 'join the dots' technique. That suits me fine. It is a sort of halfway house - i.e. an assisted way of learning to express oneself.

    So the idea of being told to just move my feet to the beats/music sounds horrifying to me. Maybe one day I'll be there, but not yet.
     
  3. Spitfire

    Spitfire Well-Known Member

    And I too fit into the shyness category, but this isn't the reason I got into dancing. I did so because it just looked like fun. However, it did remind me that one does not need to be outgoing and assertive to enjoy dancing and everyone comes together as one out on the dance floor.
     
  4. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Yep then go back to ignoring eachother on the street lol
     
  5. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    I have had somewhat of an opposite or simply different issue. I am not shy nor reserved and generally haved loved to perform. (I've even hammed it up a few times in showcases.) I wanted to become much better technically. To not just merely be entertaining but to be respected for the mechanics of what I was doing.

    Using an analogy, it's like being a "personality" versus being an "actor". I would get compliments on my showcases (at least this is my theory) for their attractive packaging and "production values". But I made it a goal at some point to also try to make them more fundamentally sound in the way of technique.
     
  6. flashdance

    flashdance Active Member

  7. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    "Don't be a fool--stay in school!" - Mr. T

    I wonder who's gonna play Mr. T in the update of The A-Team. And is it going to be Liam Neeson as Hannibal? Will have to check IMDB...
     
  8. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    I am another shy and reserved one. Plus verbal communication is not my strong area, so that's another reason for me to love dancing.
     
  9. I am shy and an introvert myself. Personally, I don't think people can completely change who they are. We can learn to adopt behaviors to cope with our shyness, but probably will never make ourselves outgoing. Take me for example, learning to dance in and of itself didn't help me very much. But picking a dance that I like and becoming very good at it helped me gain confidence. Now I don't have much of a problem asking a lady for a dance in a salsa club. However, when I start to learn a new dance I revert back to my shyness, but not to the same extent though. I am starting lindy hop now and I have a lot of reservations when asking a lady to dance at a swing club. I don't know why. Maybe I fail to learn something from salsa, who knows. But here are some points that I try to keep in mind and I'm just throwing them out there so maybe it'll help some by thinking about them.
    - Why do we have to be someone that we are not? Only western cultures prizes extrovertness. So, if we are not that does that mean there is something wrong with us?
    - Take a look at the reasons why you are best friend with your best friend. And ask yourself if you are your own best friend. If not, then why not? (from Dr.Phil)
    - Believe in yourself, because no one else will.
    - Shyness has a side-effect with respect to your other character traits and how other people treat you. For example, people won't depend or call on you to do certain things or to get certain things done. You're excluded from some activities you might like., etc.

    how did I get off on such a tanget.
     
  10. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    I don't think there is anything wrong with being introverted either, but I find I'm looked down upon for it a lot. People PICK at you when you're that way. For example a couple months ago I was work, getting on an elevator with two maintenance guys or whatever and they said hello and I smiled politely. I thought this was perfectly harmless. One guy turned to the other and said: "She doesn't say much. She is unusual." I was humiliated.
     
  11. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Heh. People think I'm introverted and are surprised when I'm not. I'm not introverted, I'm just lazy. Being super-social takes effort and I tend to not fight inertia unless I have to. (Once you get me talking, though....)

    I think the reason introverts get excluded or picked on is it can, often, come across as snobby. People think that you don't WANT to talk to them if you don't say hello and try to avoid chatting. And for men, being super-introverted is just a bit...well, for me, anyway, it's off-putting. Implies a lack of confidence and a lack of confidence is Not Sexy. But men are in a bind there, too, as being TOO confident can seem like aggression or arrogance.
     
  12. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Yeah well they need to be told the world doesn't revolve around them, my behavior is just due to my personality, not my opinion about them.
     
  13. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Too bad I'm not the way I am here in real life, I say everything that pops in to my head.
     
  14. ireniecat

    ireniecat New Member

    I've been told a lot that I come off as snobby for said reason. But honestly, sometimes I don't want to talk to people, especially if I can't contribute anything worthwhile to the conversation, or if the conversation itself isn't of interest.
     
  15. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Exactly my logic... but in a way, being disinterested in them and their conversations is what makes me unfriendly or snobbish..
     
  16. ireniecat

    ireniecat New Member

    I don't know if that's necessarily true. Being uninterested because you don't think the people themselves are worthwhile I think is snobbish, but if it's the conversation isn't interesting, that's not snobby... For example, if people are talking about a TV show that you don't watch, that you know you're not going to watch, how do you join that conversation? And why would you want to?
     
  17. flashdance

    flashdance Active Member

    I'm an introvert, not a Mac or PC! :D

    We really need a DF meet - I bet we'd become extroverts overnight!!
     
  18. Spitfire

    Spitfire Well-Known Member

    I'd be all for that. ;)
     
  19. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    I think that if I were to really make the effort I could always come up with something to say. "I have never seen that show, what's it about?" I started watching Grey's Anatomy because I wanted to be able to talk to people in the break room.... I am often afraid of saying the wrong thing, so don't often talk. But I could find something to start a conversation about if one is going on that I have nothing to add to.. After a while, I think when the amount of time I don't socialize far outweighs the amount of time I do, people notice and assume I don't care to make an effort, or I'm a snob, I'm too good to associate with them. And I think you get that much more often when you're a pretty girl, I wouldn't know.
     
  20. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I am shy...but that isn't what I project...which often leads to some misinterprtation
     

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