Anyone here shy and/or reserved?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Kit05, Mar 3, 2010.

  1. Kits

    Kits New Member

    Ditto~
     
  2. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    me too!
     
  3. Ecclesiastes3_4

    Ecclesiastes3_4 New Member

    I am, a bit. The first social dance event I went to I was scared stiff. I am still afraid to go into a crowd of people I don't know, even for something as fun as dancing.

    I just remind myself that other people feel the same way, and usually after a couple of dances I'm very glad I went!
     
  4. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    Ecclesiastes3_4, good for you! That's a great attitude to have!

    :)
     
  5. Kits

    Kits New Member

    Illl keep that in mind! I want to have the courage to ask people to dance with me besides my Teacher come party night on tuesday. I am always so affraid. and I dont want to be clingy clingy to my teacher lol.
     
  6. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    Bless your heart...
     
  7. waltzgirl

    waltzgirl New Member

    Ask your teacher to introduce you to people. Or ask one of the female instructors, since they know the men. One of the female pros at my studio knows that I will dance with the rawest beginner and make it a good experience, so I *always* get introduced to the new guys.
     
  8. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    To waltzgirl

    waltzgirl: :notworth: Huge kudos to you for that! That makes such a difference to those students in their "formative" years as a dancer... :cheers:
     
  9. waltzgirl

    waltzgirl New Member

    Just paying it forward! I remember all those who were kind and patient with me when I first started.
     
  10. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    To waltzgirl

    Well, you're making a difference, waltzgirl! :cheers:
     
  11. wiseman

    wiseman New Member

    Did dancing help you overcome shyness?

    I’m a shy guy and always have been shy all my life. I started going for dance lessons a couple of months ago because I heard it helps you gain confidence. Of course, there were other reasons as well, but hearing that it gives a person confidence was enough to make me jump and start going for lessons. Anyways, I’ve been going for almost 2 months now and am still learning. But even though I’m starting to be a bit more comfortable dancing with girls, I still feel shy. Maybe it just takes time, I don’t know.

    For those that go for Latin/Ballroom dance lessons, did dancing help you overcome your shyness? If so, how long did it take before dancing made a difference in your personality?
     
  12. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

  13. wiseman

    wiseman New Member

    Oops! Sorry! I did try using the search engine but it wouldn't let me use the word "shy." It claimed it was too common. Feel free to lock or delete this thread.
     
  14. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

    Would you like the threads merged? :)
     
  15. Joyful Dancer

    Joyful Dancer New Member

    I've always been looked upon as "reserved" and admit that I'm a bit shy around those I don't know well. I've been told recently that since I've been dancing, that there's a certain "glow" about me and that I've really "came out of my shell". There certainly is something to be gained by dancing, in particular showcase and competition events. As to the time frame for when you will see a change in your confidence level, I think that will vary from dancer to dancer.
     
  16. wiseman

    wiseman New Member

    Sure. :)
     
  17. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

    Merged threads :)
     
  18. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    It took me a year before I felt more confident about my dancing ability. I would say that a big part of the training comes from going to the social party and keep asking women to dance. Sometimes you get turned down and you just move on to the next woman. The rejection part becomes less emotional over time.

    I can now look a woman in her eyes while talking to her without fidgeting around. Also if a woman ignores me or blows me off, I'm not so concerned about it because I know there is at least 1 or 2 women (Dance partners) around who appreciates me for who I am.
     
  19. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    dancing hasn't made me less shy...but it has made me more courageous...which trumps shyness...because it has to in order to dance well....I still prefer to avoid the mirror and I generally to not approach people to interact at socials...but I don't allow those insecurities to interfere with what I want to convey in my dancing
     
  20. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    Interesting discussion. I suspect it may be in the nature of the internet that so many are confessing to their shyness/introversion here, i.e., the internet is safer for expressing yourself when shy.

    As to me, yes, by nature I am also an introvert. My shyness was greatest when it came to establishing romantic relationships. That doesn't mean I was perceived that way.

    My shyness is very context dependent. If I am in a role to speak publicly, as a teacher or lecturer, I have no problems with playing that role. When I was young, I loved to dance freestyle, and had no problem with being the first and only person on the dance floor. For that reason, I was a very popular party guest because I would jump start the dancing. The joy of dancing took precedence over any self-consciousness.

    I learned to partner dance because of my fascination with latin music. As I improved, and became more popular as a dance partner, it increased my confidence, and reduced my shyness with women. Confidence is the sort of thing that can snowball. You feel more comfortable just chatting, get smiles and laughter, and that creates more confidence.

    I have no hesitation now, when young male geeks complain about their difficulties meeting girls, to advise them to take up dancing.

    I don't remember where I saw this quote, and if someone recognizes it please tell me who said it: "If more young men danced the bolero, there would be fewer single older men."

    As to the fear around improvising, it's the same as the fear of dancing freestyle on an empty floor. It won't happen if you are worried about being judged for it. When you can turn off that fear of judgement, it will be easy.
     

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