Ballroom Dance > Awkwardness after someone asked for my phone number?

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by Shanae_87, Dec 5, 2013.

  1. vit

    vit Active Member

    No, I never look straight in the eyes more that several seconds continuously in social dancing as I like moving much; a month ago a girl I was dancing salsa with actually had objection that I didn't have enough eye contact with her (never happened before, but I just didn't feel necessary to have more eye contact with her)

    But in competitive latin (back then), we almost didn't look in the eyes at all. For instance, when starting cha cha or rumba with the basic step, we were actually looking over the top of the head of the partner
  2. dlliba10

    dlliba10 Well-Known Member

    Direct eye contact used sparingly in certain situations can be a whole lot of fun, though. It's my favorite trick to connect with the audience after a cool move, for example. Maybe even a little wink. Then again, I'm a histrionic ham.
    dbk, Sania and stash like this.
  3. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    There are cozy/informal (I daresay "social", even) ways of dancing standard properly and well, that don't use big looking-away-from-each-other holds. Not that I ever seriously pursued smooth, but my impression is that there are plenty of opportunities for eye contact particularly when the partners are separated.
  4. dbk

    dbk Well-Known Member

    At a social dance, you do as much or as little eye contact as you are happy and comfortable with. That's it! You don't need to do things at socials that make you uncomfortable.

    Eye contact with your pro or am partner in competition is important, because you are being judged on the character and emotion you express.

    Regarding the guy... if he continues pursuing you, just tell him he seems like a great guy, but you're not interested. It's OK to just say "no, thank you," it really is. You don't even need to give him a long explanation or excuse... you don't need to pussyfoot around the issue and give "hints" (like being rude) that you're not interested. Just use your words. It doesn't make you a bad person. If he reacts to a polite "no" as if it's rude, well, he's a jerk.

    And if you're worried that he hasn't outright asked you out, and that he'll say something like "uh, I wasn't trying to date you," just be ready to respond with a smile and "oh, what a relief!" and leave it at that.

    All that said, if he doesn't continue pursuing you (asking your number, asking to meet up, etc.) then he probably knows you're not interested. You don't need to do anything else. But in general, if you hint a few times and it doesn't get through, just (politely) use your words.
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2013
  5. dbk

    dbk Well-Known Member


    Sorry, it's a pet peeve :p
    twnkltoz, ajiboyet and danceronice like this.
  6. Dr Dance

    Dr Dance Well-Known Member

    Gorillas don't appreciate people that stare either.
  7. Standarddancer

    Standarddancer Well-Known Member

    you seem to did all the right things except giving him a fake number, I would just let him know upfront that I don't know him well enough to give personal phone number or tell him "I'm too busy, only have time for dancing and no time for chit-chat".
  8. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    I kind of like the google voice number- that way I have my real number, then a real-but-for-screening number, too. Or pinger. Haven't set that one up yet. Technology has made it so easy to filter people. And buy stuff I don't need.
    twnkltoz and dbk like this.
  9. ajiboyet

    ajiboyet Well-Known Member


    When I dance socially, lady is turning in all directions too frequently for me to even think about eye contact.

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