Best and worst dance snubs when you ask a lady to dance

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by Dr Dance, Oct 27, 2013.

  1. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    If a woman says no in the woods, and nobody's around to hear it, is the guy still snubbed, LOL!
    wooh likes this.
  2. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    Those woods would be murder on your heel protectors...
    latingal and dancelvr like this.
  3. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    if it is, I have been regularly and roundly snubbed
  4. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    I'd cry if something happened to my super-sparkle shoes I have set aside for special occasions. Take the ugly used to be flesh but are now gray ones instead!
  5. Sania

    Sania Active Member

    Gotta love a man who quotes Jane Austen!
    latingal and Terpsichorean Clod like this.
  6. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    If I were this girl, I would definitely never dance with the OP again. Way to blow things out of proportion.
    wooh, dbk and Hedwaite like this.
  7. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    Yes it is.
    it is, so one has to really watch what they say.
  8. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    It's not her fault you're shy.

    What did you want people to say? That she's a horrible person for refusing your kind offer of a dance? That she should be obliged to dance with you whenever you want, just because it's impolite (supposedly) to refuse?

    Just...chill out a little. Sometimes people have legitimate reasons for refusing a dance. That is totally ok. It's not necessarily a reflection on you, or a rude snub. Sometimes you just don't want to dance that particular song.
    dbk and Hedwaite like this.
  9. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    Proximity asking could set a bad precedence. What if the woman were to stand right next to you so that you can't possibly miss her without running her over? Would it be a snub if you want to ask someone else instead?
  10. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    I believe in the 3 strikes rule. Ask 3 times that night and if you strike out every time, then try again another day.
  11. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    I was at a social and I'd just taken off my shoes to change them and give my feet a break from wearing heels, when this guy came up to me and asked me to dance a quickstep. Since I wasn't wearing dance shoes and I think it's dangerous to dance quickstep without them I had to decline. I didn't dance that quickstep with anyone else, but that guy kept giving me the stinkeye the rest of the night.
    wooh, samina, scullystwin42 and 2 others like this.
  12. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

    I had one woman sit down and immediately start talking at me. That would've been pretty hard to ignore. (obviously, she'd forgotten about her condescension towards me when I was a beginner)
    dancelvr and Hedwaite like this.
  13. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

    3 strikes in general and then you go home? Or 3 strikes per individual and then you stop asking that person for the rest of the day?

    I've settled upon asking no more than twice. If they've declined two times without offering a raincheck, then they go on the DNA list.
  14. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    3 strikes per individual. It could be ill-timing that the person turns you down.
  15. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    That seems to be a common way for women to ask me for a dance without outright asking me for a dance.
  16. mindputtee

    mindputtee Well-Known Member

    If they can't be bothered to say "Would you like to dance with me" I don't think you have an obligation to ask them to dance.
    IndyLady likes this.
  17. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    There's a woman at the studio who's terminally upset with my partner for not asking her to dance. She'll walk up to anybody else and ask them to dance, but she expects him to ask her. She's gone so far as to discourage her husband from dancing with me... except I don't really care if he does or not. He's a great guy, and a great dancer, but if I don't get asked to dance by him, I'm not going to cry.
  18. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    yep...I just don't get that...we have one lady who gets her undies in a bunch about how much a certain pro dances with a certain student...but that student asks...and that doesn't make her the bad guy...it makes her the samrt girl who gets the dances...shrug...man up or lose out
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2013
    stash likes this.
  19. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    My ex and I went through that. I am friends with a couple, and my ex knows them but not as well as I do. We used to see them at WCS often when we were still together. I enjoy dancing with the husband of this couple, even though he's not a great dancer (he's fun and lets me do my thang). Ex does not enjoy dancing with the wife at all for various reasons, and he is a dance snob because his arthritis and gout make dancing painful so he saves his dances for people he really likes. Wife got all annoyed that my ex never asked her to dance. The husband asked me about it and I hedged. He indicated he wouldn't be able to keep dancing with me if ex didn't dance with the wife. I think that's BS, but whatever.
  20. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    lol, I would have been tempted to say; "um ...well, that controlling behavior is also part of the reason"...I wouldn't...but I would be tempted

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