there's obviously something going on here. if it's something in the mindset or expectations of the wife, there's not much the husband can do to change this. but there is one thought that's been brushed up against, but IMO not fleshed out entirely, and it pertains to the mindset of the typical male. guys in general tend to be accomplishment oriented and as a consequence they assume that to make it a "successful" dance, especially when it's with someone they want to impress, men think that they need to pull out all the most complicated and flashy figures they know. and because they're relatively new to dance, typically the choices are above the level of the partner to follow (either because their ability to follow is relatively limited, or worse, the leader's ability to lead the figure competently is equally limited), which ends up leaving the partners feeling off balance and ungainly and not likely to want to repeat the experience (unless they mistakenly believe that it's their own failing instead of it being a shortcoming of the guy being a bad lead). what i've found to be true is that women are typically ecstatic just that they can get their husbands to dance. and in these circumstances, they're content to repeat a few simple figures over and over as long as the figures are led competently and she can feel graceful doing these simple figures. this begs the question: are you consciously or unconsciously trying to do only your fanciest moves (that you may not be able to lead well enough)?