General Dance Discussion > College nightclub dancing

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by grandcentral, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. grandcentral

    grandcentral New Member

    How do you dance with a random woman at a nightclub? If you meet a woman who is not an experienced follower, how do you dance with her? What are some simple moves that will work with random music and with a random follower? I am shy about leading a dance. These are the questions on my mind, but I don't think a forum can answer that. I will have to go and solve it at a dance class. So I'd like to start a night club thread. I don't think there are many people in their twenties and early thirties here who go to nightclubs, but I'm sure there are some lurking around. I'm a great solo dancer (good rythm, sleak and sexy movement, but no formal training), but when I solo dance next to a woman who is also solo dancing, I do not feel a connection with her and it is not fun. Most people in nightclubs solo dance or grind or obviously if they experienced dancers they can whip out and do hustle or salsa. But most people are not like that and you cannot dance salsa with follower who is not a dancer. There is also other issues in night clubs that I have mostly figured out I think. Feeling insecure because nigthclubs make customers feel bad in order to make them buy alcohol - and the pick up scene - women sending you signals that they want to dance with you and the nuances of a nightlcub being a place where people go to have fun, dance, meet, find a one nightstand, grind, and probably also start fights, do drugs, sell drugs, trap a drunk girl in their arms, date rape, etc, i'm sure all of that is mixed in,

    I've enjoyed dancing when I brought a date to a nightclub because she was very motivated to dance with me. I also enjoyed dancing with women who wait and watch me and follow my (not so strong) lead. But what about dancing with women who do not wait for and just go ahead and start bouncing in every direction on their own and don't lock their arms?

    I've included the two links above because they sum up everything I know about night club dancing. I just joined and often people who just join and start posting links right away are spammers. So you would have to copy and paste the links and put in the dots to actually see them, which I figure is too much work for anyone who is not someone that is particularly interested in my post.

    I would like to hear from other nightclub dancers in their twenties and thirties about how to make night club dancing with a strangers smoother and more enjoyable. Older and younger people who don't go night club dancing, are also welcome to chime in. Please try not to criticize me though and be friendly. Thanks.

    Also, I would LOVE to hear tips from women for other women at nightclubs. I imagine there are so many risks for women - the guy could be grabby, she can make guys jealous and start a fight or have a jealous guy stalk her or lash at her for rejecting him or dancing with another guy, someone could drug up her drink, she will be pounced on and taken advantage of if she is drunk, her friends might feel offended if a guy asks her to dance and not them, she has to drive off guys who are always surrounding her and grinding up from every direction, etc.

    I have read this Club Dancing Thread: but it seems the posts there are mostly from teenagers who are saying they don't know how to nightclub dance and from people who don't go to nightclubs giving them advice..
  2. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    I went to night clubs a lot when I was younger, throughout my twenties and thirties. Lead and follow in freestyle dance is really hit or miss, and it's not just the man that leads. If lead and follow is what you are after, keep your moves simple and repetitive, think of creating a line dance. Keep eye contact, and keep smiling. Watch other couples who have lead and follow going on, and figure out how they are doing it. And if they are a couple, i.e., they came together and are leaving together, they aren't a good model for you.

    If she isn't keeping eye contact with you, and is dancing in her own little world, forget about lead and follow. Also, some ladies might feel awkward following your lead, no matter how graceful and smooth. Cut them some slack.

    The most important thing is to have fun, and to show that you are having fun.
  3. drejenpha

    drejenpha Member

    Based on reading this, I agree with tt. You don't need anyone's permission to have fun so have fun. Also, you're out there to dance and have fun, not to out-think the women you're dancing with... dancing and thinking have a tendency to be mutually exclusive.

    Dancing in clubs I've basically given up on leading, especially people I know that know I dance. When they realize I'm leading them to turn they stop quite immediately for whatever reason to tell me that I wanted them to turn there.
  4. RoyHarper

    RoyHarper Member

    It's darned near impossible to do "lead and follow" with a random woman at a club or other generic dance venue. The vast majority of people out there don't grasp the concept of leading or following, much less the notion of playing with musicality in a manner that complements one's partner.

    Of course, if you are lucky, you may wind up with a partner who will try to echo your moves. If you're especially lucky, she may even add her own twists and flair -- stuff that you can work with and respond to. In general though, this won't happen unless (a) the woman has had a significant amount of dance training, or (b) she has good musicality, has good bodily control, and knows how to move creatively.

    You may as well resign yourself to the fact that, in effect, you're probably going to wind up dancing solo. You may be facing another human being, but whatever you do will generally be unrelated to what she does.
  5. RickRS

    RickRS Member

    As I'm reading grandcentral post I'm thinking he looking for the couple dancing environment of ballroom and couple style country. Of you have to learn the couple dance move of ballroom or country dance to be a leader, but the dance environment is very against drunks, drugs, and alcohol, and dancing as a form of pick-up moves isn't part of the scene. Just enjoyment of couple dancing.
  6. Dots

    Dots Active Member

    Naturally a dance venue such as a Salsa club makes it easier to invite people since they expect to be invited (and generally know how to dance). Nightclubs, however, are a different story and my experience there is rather limited (and I would be curious to read some of the other posters’ answers). I can share my tips concerning business Christmas parties since they have similar conditions; booze, non-dancers, limited dancing space, random music, etc. Would that help?
  7. Kipling

    Kipling New Member

    Oh please share!
  8. Dots

    Dots Active Member

    Bear in mind that I have only had a few parties with a non-dancing crowd (4-5), but that so far, these tricks seem to work:

    Tip 1: pre-party work

    One of the rare luxuries that distinguishes a business party from a nightclub; you know the date, some of the people who will show up and you can work ahead of time. When people ask me if I’ll be at the company’s party, I let them know that I’ll be there and that I intend to dance. I also take the opportunity to test the waters and see if they would like to dance with me during the evening.

    Reactions vary, but I’ll do my best to have two or three women interested before the party actually begins. If further prompting is required, I’ll even suggest a free dance lesson during a lunch break at work. The reason why I do this is in the next tip.

    Tip 2: it’s easy to say no

    Asking someone do dance in a non-dancing crowd is asking someone to step out of their comfort zone while everyone stares at them… and that makes it really easy for them to say no. However, if you can manage to dance with 2 or 3 different people and they had fun then they go back to their friends and spread the word (and other people actually see you having fun). After that, it becomes easier to invite others.

    Tip 3: the dances to pick

    You’re probably not going to pull off dazzling combos with non-dancers and you need to select the right dance depending on the follower’s natural skills and your ability to lead. Merengue, while not my favorite, is probably one of the safest and I keep hustle and rumba as my choices for people with natural balance. I’ll throw in some mambo, salsa, samba or swing only for those that I’ve danced with before and who showed promise or who know those dances.

    Tip 4: 30 second rule

    It’s a party and not a dance class. When inviting someone, I’ll only explain the basic step and show them a good hand hold in as little time as I can and then lead what I feel that my partner can follow. The cha cha basic, for example, can be a challenge. If I see that my partner is struggling with it then I’ll quickly switch to something easier like merengue to ensure that she’ll have a good time.

    Tip 5: I stay clear of drunk people

    Dancing and too much drinking is a definite no-no for me. It’s just a recipe for disaster which can ruin the rest of the evening if someone falls down (or worse).

    Tip 6: if there’s no room on the dance floor or it looks dangerous

    Move some chairs out of the way and dance on the carpet. Not the best alternative, but party organizers don’t always pick the place based on the dance floor’s size.

    Tip 7 : cheat

    Yes, the song might be more suited for a cha cha (and I’d like to do it!), but if my partner can’t follow it but can follow hustle, then I cheat and do a hustle. Also if the DJ keeps playing the same type of song over and over again then things can get boring real fast and it might be time to cheat again.

    Tip 8 : the most important tip! smile, laugh and have fun!

    Disclaimer 1: a reminder, these are just some tips that worked in my case during non-dance related parties. I’m sure that there are better tips out there.

    Disclaimer 2: most of those tricks simply helped me to get on the dance floor and have fun and not pick up girls. I’m not an expert on the latter, lol.
  9. rbazsz

    rbazsz New Member

    The best way to dance with niteclub women is to get them out on the floor and start freestyling with them. Sometimes they will hint they want you to turn them, and if that's the case gently touch their hand and raise it. You can even do a halo over their head without touching them. They will enjoy that whether they want to be led or not. If they turn then you have found a lady that can follow.

    Sometimes during a freestyle I'll gently grab their hands and sway. They either like making contact or hate it. Sometimes I'll go even slower by bumping shoulders or even very subtle hip grinding just to make contact with them. I can usually tell if they want to follow by their reactions when I make physical contact with them.

    Sometimes this process takes an entire song so I ask her if she will do one more. I always respect NO answers and will smile as I escort them off the floor. Sometimes later in the evening after they have a few drinks they might dance another.

    If the lady you are trying to touch pulls back (or says no turns) then live with the fact that you are going to have to finish the song freestyle.

    We need to understand that niteclub dancing is more about mating rituals than dancing, which can lead us ballroomers to be misinterpreted if we try to get physical too fast.

    Once I get them to turn I'll test them out to see if they can swing and then progress to a few basic moves. From there it just depends on how much they know, and how much they want to experiment.

    If you are willing to risk rejection just come up to a woman and ask her if she knows how to swing dance. Don't say anything specific because they won't know what you are talking about, so they will say no. If their answer is maybe, proceed cautiously, and if the answer is yes, ask her what kind of swing when you are walking to the floor.

    I have had some wonderful sensual dances with niteclub women that want to follow but don't particularly know how. If we see each other another evening I'm guaranteed another fine dance. It's very hit and miss though. Sometimes I have wasted hours trying to find a woman that knows more than hip grinding.

    Just don't expect much at clubs. The vast majority of the public has never done partner dancing so they have no clue how -- and many of them don't care to know either.
  10. Kipling

    Kipling New Member

    This is great stuff! Thanks guys!

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