General Dance Discussion > Crush on Instructor...

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by summer280, Oct 1, 2006.

  1. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    I'm going to do something stupid. If not soon, eventually.
  2. leilaniana

    leilaniana New Member

    I've always wondered about how many of my hubby's students have a crush on him. Goodness knows, I can completely understand why and I would definitely have a big on myself if I were just his student. But of course, I had a huge crush on him before we had ever met.

    On the dance floor, he's very charismatic, charming, caring, and really knows how to treat a gal to make her feel comfortable and confident in her dancing. He is also a great listener and provides a friendly ear if his student wants to talk about something. So those things in combination with his handsomeness could definitely lead to some serious crushing. ;)

    But I also know the side of him that comes home and is thankful he has a wedding ring now, in hopes that it will keep his students from being mislead into thinking something more is going on besides the teacher/student dynamic.

    He's been in and known of situations where teachers lose a great student because the student became emotionally too involved. It's a shame really, because the student also misses out on the opportunity to really enjoy what they came their to learn as well.
  3. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Its hard, almost impossible, to deny an attraction to someone... There is a big age gap between my teacher and I, even if he were allowed to date me, he could do better, and probably is doing better as he is engaged... It's pathetic that I'm contemplating signing a two year contract, effectively signing my life away because I have a crush on someone I know I can't have... I know I can learn faster and for a lot less money with another studio but I can't stand the thought of never seeing my teacher again.
  4. leilaniana

    leilaniana New Member

    I've never been in that situation with an instructor, but I know that once I had a crush (more than a crush, but we'll call it that) for almost 10 years. It took my moving away and him eventually marrying someone else before I could finally let go.

    The closer you stay, the harder it will be to really move on. And from experience, I know that there is no greater pain than longing for someone you can't have. You can even start new relationships, but those won't be fully satisfying because of that secret longing beneath it all.

    Typically, if it is meant to be, it will happen. And if it is not, the longer you focus on it, the longer you deprive yourself of finding the perfect someone for you. It wasn't until I let go of my unrequited longing that I finally met my soulmate. And looking back, I now realize that if things had ever worked out between me and the guy, I wouldn't have been as happy as I am now.

  5. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    You do realize that charming someone into signing a contract is one of the less savory sales techniques employed by some unscrupulous instructors/schools?
    Even if not, do NOT sign a 2 year contract. 1) There's no guarantee this guy will still be there in 2 weeks, much less 2 years if you sign the contract, so that's no reason to sign up for lessons. 2) There's no guarantee this will be the best place for you to learn to dance 2 weeks from now, much less 2 years. 3) Once you sign a 2 year contract, there's absolutely NO incentive for them to give you decent service.
  6. leilaniana

    leilaniana New Member

    I have to agree on this one. I'm not sure if I've ever heard of a contract, but I know some studios will sell you a block of lessons at a discount. At least then you can just do them in whatever time frame you feel, and then move on.

  7. CANI

    CANI Active Member

    Hi wonderwoman -

    Definitely get the opinions of experienced people here on d-F before signing anything. The way life changes, I can't imagine signing a 2-year contract in dance. So much changes in 2 years, including where you live. Definitely take a step back and solicit opinions on D-F of students and instructors who are very experienced in the dance world...
  8. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    Look, you want to do something, anything, to break the unlivable stalemate? Then tell him how you feel. Go ahead and live out that all too human emotion to its obvious conclusion, suffer through the pain of it, and take it for what it is - a sign that you are a person blessed with the capacity to feel such emotion.

    But don't sign the contract. That's not tragically romantic, it's just dumb.
  9. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    do NOT sign the contract.
  10. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    Agreed. Please do not sign a 2 year contract. Nothing wrong with having feelings, but that does not mean you have to make an imprudent financial decision.

    Also, try the following exercise. Imagine someone came to you and asked you for advice in the situation you just gave us:

    -engaged person
    -very different in age from that person
    -that person's teacher.

    What would you recommend?
  11. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    I know.... :( Actually it's only one year.
  12. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Oh, well, if it's only one year.... do NOT sign the contract. :p

    Find a new studio except this time shop for cute students, not cute instructors. :)
  13. soshedances

    soshedances Active Member

    Good idea. ;)
  14. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    It's one I've been considering myself. Not that I have any issues or crush with my pro, just looking for a woman. :)
  15. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Still not a good idea, for all the same reasons I already listed. Allow me to reach through the system of tubes known as the internet and SHAKE SOME SENSE INTO YOU! It ain't gonna happen. And well, however fun it might be to imagine it happening, in the end, it will be more fun for you if you've made your decisions based on what will further your dancing, not based on what will you give you more time with a guy that's not available.
  16. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    I know.... I'm so stupid...
  17. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Life would be so much less complicated if I were a boy. Stupid estrogen.
  18. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    oh, trust me, no it wouldn't. :)
  19. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member


    I know the right thing to do just don't know what I'm going to say Monday.
  20. soshedances

    soshedances Active Member

    :uplaugh: I think we all have those days...

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