Crush on Instructor...

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by summer280, Oct 1, 2006.

  1. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Geez. I only had two crushes, one remedied by discovering she has kids, the other by discovering he was getting married real soon.

    I casually mentioned the latter tonight.... "Hey I heard you were getting married..."
    *shocked silence* "Yeah.......... who told you?"
    "Oh I don't remember, I heard about it like two months ago. Congratulations."
    "Thank you..."
    "Is that next week...?"
    "No, I'm on vacation next week. Going home to visit family..."

    How much do you want to bet, I never see a wedding band... Its none of my business but I think it's shady to hide that sort of thing.
  2. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    I'm confused...is this your instructor who's getting married now...or someone else?
  3. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Yeah, definitely some confusion here too. :)
  4. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    The rule I live by: No dating other dancers. I've learned my lesson. I purposefully seek out guys who are not dancers. I have found that non-dancer dudes are easy to pick up. It's not every day they date a ballroom dancer :) They are easily impressed and fall for you.
  5. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    i don't think i want a guy who's easy to pick up, lol... ;)
  6. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    The "easy" ones are just for playing. ;)
  7. lcdancesport

    lcdancesport Active Member

    Don't go for your instructor, it'll only set you up for heartache. First of all, he or she has many students, and they could be treating them the same way they treat you. I understand a teacher can have some level of friendship with their students, but the bottom line is, they are there to teach you and also make money for their own livelihood.
  8. Rumbagirl11

    Rumbagirl11 New Member

    Leonid, I mean to put your name.

    Here is my two cents, as a pro..

    This comment is especially geared towards social dancers, where the teaching isn't as strict, but its more about having fun...

    I think its very easy to develop a crush on an instructor, esp when working in such close proximity, and when you have to trust him/her about everything, you can develop some strong feelings. You have to understand that these are not normal circumstances!! And you don't know each other as well as you think you do......outside the studio he may turn out to be quite different than you imagined (you might never find out). The Teacher's job is always to be "on"....whether they have a good or bad day, the show must go....so teachers seem always happy and like they are having a blast, and oh how they care for you....and so they transfer that energy to the student! And thats why students keep coming back.....and sometimes develop crushes....

    But you have to also understand its his job to make you have fun and feel all these good emotions. Its his job!! I would suggest that you just understand that in that environment you may have a crush on him....but don't mistake it for something more than that until you really had a chance to see him "off stage" as well...

    Hope this helps...




    I really liked your advice. I am a newbie dancer as well and have a crush on my instructor, I was relieved to see that apparently this happens all the time.

    I had already thought through some of things you mention here and then I resign my self and try to focus on the dancing but my instructor sees my aloofness or disinterest and he turns it on a notch (gets closer than he has to or gives my long hugs etc). During the social parties he is always watching me (even though sometimes he does not ask me to dance) I already signed up for the rest of the year so is not like he is trying to get me so pay more thus then it gets me thinking.... he might interested?? And it goes up and down like that, it's exhausting.

    I guess I am confused now and going to the classes is becoming such an emotional rollercoaster, I don't know if I should change instructors but then what do I tell him, people there will know something is up and that would be even worse. I wish I could tell him to stop the flirting and focus on the dancing but I am afraid he will be like "what are you talking about" I am that way with all my students, which I am not sure if he is. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  9. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Don't do it!! That is all. :)
  10. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    I used to crush on my very first instructor. But then you grow out of it. I think every noob goes through it. The allure of ballroom dancing and all...

    However, i think most women end up crushing on instructors at franchises (FADS and AMS). These people are trained to be all charming blah blah. My sister works at AMS and she told me they only hire "attractive" people.
  11. strictlystandard

    strictlystandard New Member

    I have seen this happening at our studio many many times and it never had a good end to it. Do not go for your instructor, ever. The crush will go away, also keep in mind that your teacher may be totally different person once he is done with his lessons.
  12. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    Yah these peepz were paid to "seduce" you into ballroom dancing. It's all part of the sales pitch. I think it works very well on your typical recently divorcees or cougs. lolz.
  13. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Let's try to stay on topic rather than making blanket statements that are attacks on groups.
  14. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Actually he got married in Vegas a couple weeks ago. Haha.
  15. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    lol Rumbagirl! I'm sorry but I had to laugh when I read your post because it sounds so much like all the stuff that had been going through my head. You ignore him and then he seems to pay more attention to you, touch you when he doesn't necessarily have to... compliments you all the time, watches you during practice parties. Listen they act this way to all their students. Don't worry about it!

    About a week after I met mine, we were at a party and both drinking and on his way out he gave me a quick little kiss on the lips and I took it to mean so much more than it did. Prior to this I had no attraction to him and it just went downhill til almost a month later I found out he was getting married, and then just recently that he has been married and not wearing his ring which I think is shady. Anyway, thank your lucky stars this guy is not your instructor.
  16. CANI

    CANI Active Member

    Certainly don't know your instructor's situation, but just wanted to mention that the absence of a wedding band is not necessarily a shady thing. When my parents got married, they couldn't afford a wedding band for my father, and he was pleased as can be when my Mom bought him one for their 20 or 25th wedding anniversary. Also, if an instructor is trying to keep a relationship professional, I would not be at all surprised if he didn't talk about his personal relationship. Again, don't know your instructor's situation, but there may be another way to view it.
  17. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    Ladies going into ballroom dancing really need to toughen up when taking lessons with your instructor. Don't fall for it. It's a sales tool!
  18. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Haha. Not necessarily! But I have noticed you can turn half the things they say around to be an innuendo. lol jk. Sorta.
  19. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    Sorry peepz. I'm just really anti-franchise. No offense to anyone who is at a franchise. But I've been to both (indy and franch). and I've heard lots of horror stories from franchises. And the people that go there are just plain weird.

    An ind. studio feel more like a training facility. Everyone is there to simply dance and practice and have a good time. No packages, no sales pitches...you are in charge of your dance future.

    At least from my experience....
  20. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    lol Nobody who goes to my studio is weird... It's one thing to state facts, but half of what you're saying is opinion only.

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