General Dance Discussion > Crush on Instructor...

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by summer280, Oct 1, 2006.

  1. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    Precisely! it is my opinion. I never claimed it as fact.
  2. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    They're offensive to some though.
  3. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    What have I said that was offensive?
  4. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    That the people who go there are weird. Take care, sassy...there are quite a few DFers who are devoted to their franchise studios. And speaking as an indy-fan myself...the franchise devotees here are good people.
  5. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    And some of us are just troublemakers. :)

    That being said, it sounds like you had a bad experience with a franchise. That is of course not a good thing. BUt it does not mean that all franchise employees are as bad as the one you had issues with. Or bad at all.

    More importantly, that's not really the topic of this thread. There are other threads applicable (Whining thread, several threads on indy vs franchise studios, etc).
  6. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    I had no idea calling someone weird was offensive.
  7. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Weird isn't what was offensive. Accusing all franchise pros of seducing and purposely leading on their students just to make more money is what was offensive. Besides, developing a crush on your instructor is definitely not limited to franchises. It's a nature of the business. The closeness, the perceived intimacy of the partnership, etc.
  8. SassySamba

    SassySamba New Member

    I still don't see how that's offensive. It happens so much at franchises. There may be a small percentage of instructors at franchises that actually care about your dancing...these end up leaving the franchise eventually.

    It does happen at independents too...

    This perceived intimacy usually occurs with newbies to the sport.
  9. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    More on topic now... You are right about the perceived intimacy thing. I don't know if I would have fell for somebody 20 years older than him, or if I would have fell for him if we met in a different scenario, like if he was my gym teacher, lol that's what he went to school for. It's the idea of romance or intimacy implied with that close contact, that would have been different with somebody who wasn't young and attractive.

    And we never even dance in closed position. My standard teacher, who I had to take a break from because I lost my job, is gay and I knew that going in so I never felt uncomfortable being pressed up against him!
  10. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Many random thoughts ahead....
    Ballroom just has plenty of weird people, at franchises and elsewhere.:)
    The flirty charming thing is a sales technique. And it works. I know quite a few guys that choose instructors based on how pretty they are. It's not limited to franchises though. And occasionally instead of a sales technique, they're just being skeezy and actually hitting on you, which I find unprofessional. Sometimes they aren't really being flirty, they're just being friendly and charming, and it's misinterpreted.
    I think the moral of the story is to keep your head. If a car salesman was being super nice and flirting with you, would you be sure he wanted to go out with you, thinking you just need to come back buying more cars? Or would you think he was maybe trying to sell you a car? When someone is asking you to spend money, you need to keep your wits about you and beware. No matter how charming and attractive you think that they may be.
  11. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member


    A watchful eye......
  12. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    hahah, love it Larinda.
  13. 2totango

    2totango New Member

    Just a note on the instructor who does not wear his wedding band. My instructor does not, either, and he is very married to a lovely woman and they have a very cute little boy.
    I expect one of the reasons that he doesn't care to wear it during a lesson is that his students might hurt his hand if they squeeze too much (which I do at times) or for some other dance related reason.
  14. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Lol Larinda. That is cute! ;)

    I had thought of this thread as our dance coach came to see us this month. One of the girls that I would say is a few years younger than me you could tell had the biggest crush on him. I heard her say at lunch that she only had three lessons before this. So she really wasn't up to par, because this series of classes was for advanced dancers, so she probably shouldn't have been there. The poor girl did everything that she could to get his attention, and to dance with him for the wrong reasons.

    But I totally understood everything, but some of the other women thought it was distracting. But they are paying thousands to compete whereas she hasn't. I haven't competed yet, but the advanced dancers know that I am there to learn not to show off or to be the center of attention. So, I could see why they were upset with her. I will admit he's a cutie, but there is a time and place for everything. With her being so new, she's going to have learn this eventually. And with someone as talented as he is, I could see why she would love that.

    But anyways, I guess DF has helped me be more considerate about things regarding dance in that not a whole lot frustrates me any more. Because I know from reading on here that there are just some things that are going to happen.
  15. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Never thought about that, I'm constantly being told to loosen my grip!

    Well I have started to make an effort to socialize more with other students and hopefully will start to just enjoy dancing with everyone from now on.
  16. DancingMommy

    DancingMommy Active Member

    He probably doesn't and even if he did, he would most likely not be allowed to act on it. Most studios are very fastidious about teachers and students becoming romantically involved. It can become very unprofessional rather quickly, unfortunately.

    Dance is a very intimate thing but even that intimacy does not always signal romantic interest. I would keep my feelings to myself if I were in your position simply because it may be extremely uncomfortable for your teacher (see above).
  17. DancingMommy

    DancingMommy Active Member

    What you said!! I think that more than a few of us have been in that situation before and it stinks.

    I would RUN not walk away from that studio faster than you can say
    "holy franchised dance studio batman".
  18. DancingMommy

    DancingMommy Active Member

    Exactly. When I think back on what I could have had and what I got... Sometimes it makes me angry that I wasted money that could have been better spent with a top ranking pro/am teacher (Eddie Ares) rather than a AMI newbie (2 years teaching) for HALF the cost. But I'm not bitter. No, no I'm not. I'm sure wiser, though...
  19. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

  20. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    When your motivation to go out and dance hinges on whether one person will be present or what they think of you... It's high time to re-evaluate things...

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