Crush on Instructor...

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by summer280, Oct 1, 2006.

  1. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    I am so anxious right now because even though I have made up my mind, my teacher doesn't know I'm leaving yet, and I have been playing phone tag with the one who will hopefully replace him. I should be cleaning my bathroom or doing laundry but I'm sitting here stressing instead.
  2. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    WW, you'll get through it in, and in end (it may take a while), you'll realize it was for best and be glad you did it. *hugz*
  3. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    I know.... It's just the feeling that my world momentarily stopped spinning. lol Thank you for the kind words.
  4. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Good lord! I can now spend the rest of today functioning as a normal human being! But until 7:30 tomorrow night I will still be on edge I think. We need to drink tonight. lol
  5. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Sounds like a positive, good to hear. have a drink on me, I'll buy. ;)
  6. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    when I walked in the door of my new studio I had been absolutely sick to my stomach...I stayed out in the car until the last minute and the first thing I saw when I walked in was a line-up picture of the new pro and one of his students which had myself and my former pro in it...I had to fight back tears and I was very nervous...I thought I would never fit in there and never be good enough to fit in...but I just took it one week at a time determined to get as good as I could get with this new pro...it has been almost a year...and I am still standing...and doing my best to get good...from what I can see, my former pro is also just fine...hang in there
  7. lemonade

    lemonade New Member

    I just wanted to add if it is not too late, that I would never tell a guy if you like him:) He will tell you if he likes you, he always will, you don't have to do it. If he says nothing, it could be that he has a girlfriend, or married or many many reasons, nothing to do with you. But if he likes you he will make sure you know. Good luck!! What you describe has happened, I think, to many people on here:)
  8. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    Are we speaking generally, rather than in the particular and rather complicated case of a teacher/student relationship, or in the less complicated but still sometimes tricky business of mixing dancing and dating?

    If so, then I dunno if I agree. Sometimes we need to be hit over the head with clue sticks. That's certainly true for me.

    But it's kind of aggressive to inform a stranger of sudden strong responsibility for your own happiness. It's probably just neither useful nor fair to build up strong feelings for someone, and then surprise and confront that person with your emotional state and demand a response.

    If you want to dance with somebody, ask for a dance. If you want to date somebody, ask for a date. Don't assume a reason why the other person didn't ask you first. Take "no" for an answer, but don't take it personally; there could be many reasons. If the answer is "yes", then crushes notwithstanding, the emotional reaction resulting from a little bit of personal time might be quite different from what it was before.

    <shrug> Or so says this single guy.
  9. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    I agree DL. Women should definitely not assume guy is going to tell you if they're interested. They might be too nervous, they might think you're not interested so there's no piont,t hey might think you already have a boyfriend, etc. Basically, all the same reasons you wouldn't say that you were interested.
  10. lemonade

    lemonade New Member

    I guess I am speaking generally and for this situation. And what you wrote above is what I would want her or anyone to avoid, you said it very well!!

    It is my experience that guys always let you know if they like you, even if they are not sure you like them back. I have never thought that there were some who did but would want to be told they were liked first. Also this is just what my family always taught me and so far it has been true for me but I am very sure, as in anything there are exceptions...i.e like there could be a shy guy who can't say it but wants too. That would be hard, because someone has to go first:)
  11. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Last Monday I cancelled my lessons for the week and explained to my instructor I needed to take a break for personal reasons, and we left it at that. That wasn't good enough for him. Every single day since then, he asked my friend what really happened to me, even called her on days she wasn't coming in to the studio, and Friday she finally said "I don't know, maybe she had a crush on you or something". And he was just shocked. I was sure he knew. Oh well. Started with a new teacher already. ;)
  12. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Suspect you made best choice wonderwoman, and dfinitely not alone in the situation in this crowd. Least it sounds like new pro is working out well. :)
  13. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    Normally, a guy with a spine will let you know if he likes you.
    However, even they can sometimes get tired of rejection and not bother, so don't necessarily count on it.
  14. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    Yep. He is awesome. Best of all we are SO not eachother's types. Hehe.
  15. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    So what I hear you saying is that it is NOT good for a girl to let a boy know she is interested by kissing him and sticking her tongue in his mouth? ;)

    Bah. I've never been good at rules.
  16. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    and I'm sure CCP isn't complaining. :)
  17. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    :shock:
  18. taylor1990

    taylor1990 New Member

    Think about what you value more. Is the dancing more important or the possiblity of a relationship? And tell yourself honestly, how much do you know about this guy? Six months isn't all that long, and how many times do you really see him a week? At most studios, I'd hope all of them actually, teachers aren't allowed to date or even fratenize with the students at all, so you'd deffinately be giving him up as an instructor if you voiced your feelings. It has happened where students and teachers have gotten together, but I think that if anything you should just wait to do anything at all. Try to get to know him better before you do anything drastic.
  19. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    I'm weak. I'm going to regret this.
  20. and123

    and123 Well-Known Member

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