Dancing with relatives - weird?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by LittleLight, Jul 3, 2010.

  1. LittleLight

    LittleLight New Member

    My uncle came to visit me. He also dances AT. I hadn't really thought much about it one way or the other and assumed we would have a tanda or two on the dancefloor. We did dance, once, but it seems to me he found it all kind of weird.

    Now, I've seen videos on YouTube of father and daughter dances. And of course I'm usually don't have any designs on my male partners other than dance. I've also seen many straight people in same sex dances and gay people dancing with the opposite sex. However, since he thought it was odd, I've starting to wonder myself. I suppose that dance *is* actually a form of flirtation in some ways and there is often a sensual aspect to AT, which is very much a taboo in a familial relationship. Plus I think there's always the potential for awkwardness when you dance with someone you know well before ever dancing with them.

    So I'm just wondering what you all think. Do/would you feel strange about dancing AT with blood relatives or is that a complete non-issue?
     
  2. sambanada

    sambanada Active Member

    There are many brother sister couples dancing out there. I can imagine that rumba should also be quite awkward, but they do well. There was a bother and sister latin couple in am finals. I guess it can be a bit awkward.
     
  3. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    I've never done that, so I can only guess. I suppose it could be weird. I can dance with a woman who is married, and if there is a male/female attraction it's okay, because we don't act upon it. With a relative it might be strange if there is a similar male/female attraction, because that attraction would be taboo.

    Perhaps you would get used to it in time.
     
  4. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    I think it depends on how affectionate you normally are with your relatives. If you are part of a big huggy-kissy family, there is less of an issue than if your family is normally more reserved. If dancing is part of your family and culture, it would be weird not to dance with your blood relatives.
     
  5. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    From what I understand about culture in Argentina, many people grow up there dancing tango with family members.
     
  6. ant

    ant Member

    I have not had that experience but I suspect I will feel the same about dancing with a very young follower. In such circumstances I will always dance in OE until we are used to each other and there is a feeling we would both feel comfortable in CE.
     
  7. Ampster

    Ampster Active Member

    It's strange if you're new to the concept. However, as you grow and mature in the dance, it becomes a non-issue.

    The weirdness is (IMHO) brought about by the cliché that tango is being all about amorous passion. If that was all there is to it, then surely malicious it becomes. I know a lot of people who are so narrow minded and puny who think this way.

    However, there is more to tango than just the gaudy portrayals of it. It goes much deeper, and is in fact, quite respectful and comforting, given the right people dancing with one another.
     
  8. LittleLight

    LittleLight New Member

    @ Ampster:

    No, I don't believe in the cliche of it all being about sex and passion either. However, I think to deny all sensual aspects of the dance is going too far in the other direction IMO. Almost all kinds of dance have this element to them to some extent.

    Having said that, I don't think I would have had a problem with it, if he hadn't had one. But taking AndaBien's point, I do think society places a very strong taboo on anything at all sensual going on between relatives. For example, I wouldn't flirt with my uncle either, even if I flirt with many other people without it meaning much by it at all bar pure and simple benevolent mutual flattery. So I can see where he's coming from when he finds it awkward.

    I actually think the issue of how much sensuality actually goes into Tango and how much is "just dance" is interesting and would probably differ from person to person (and partner to partner), ranging from total sleazeballs to very "pure" technical dancers.
     
  9. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I think I'd be weirded out.

    ETA: And I do come from a relatively huggy/kissy/affectionate family.
     
  10. tangobro

    tangobro Active Member

    complete non-issue. In fact my eldest daughter asked me for some intro lessons when she was in town, and I danced with her. We are a huggy - kissy family.
     
  11. jantango

    jantango Active Member

    Do you think that Juan Carlos Copes felt the same way dancing with his daughter Johana as when he danced with his former wife and partner of 40 years, Maria Nieves?

    In Buenos Aires, tango is a seduction for milongueros who want to dance with many women for the first time. It is why they dance -- to make new conquests on the dance floor. There are many who go just to dance. But it is natural that things do happen in this intimate dance.

    Read "a sweet seduction" on my blog. This is not standard practice for all men in the milongas of Buenos Aires, but it does happen.
     
  12. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    1) Got no experiences concerning this question, only concerning "dancing with the ex" but, this would be another thread.... (who will start?)

    2) concerning your initial question, a sad verse comes into my mind
    Everytime I hear this song, I come near to tears... Watch the disturbing pictures at the beginning.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuclbQwXnBs
     
  13. LittleLight

    LittleLight New Member

    Oh great. Now I got an sms from my (very recent) ex asking if he can come visit and dance. Ampster and others, I admire your maturity, but really, any handsome strangers want to ask me?
     
  14. Ampster

    Ampster Active Member

    LittleLight, Thank you. I would gladly ask you if you were in Seattle :raisebro:
     

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