Do you believe in chemistry between partners ?

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by dancingirldancing, Jun 8, 2009.

  1. I am trying out with 2 prospective partners as my old partnership just ended for personal reasons.

    One of the boy is of a higher level but I feel that we are dancing 'flat' even mechanical and for some reasons out bodies does not work very well together.

    It is a very hard thing to describe but we keep on bumping bodies feel like he is dancing with himself and the dancing feels 'cold' and mechanical.

    With the other boy however the chemistry is magical....our bodies just 'click' together and we move like a dream. We just smiled at each other everytime our eyes met as we enjoys the dancing very much.

    This boy however is not even close to the first one's in technical ability and rankings.

    I am amazed that even when the step is wrong it feels right and we just swirl and swirl around the floor.

    I mean technical ability can be learned right ?

    I never feels like that dancing with anyone else but would his technical ability impedes how well we do in competitions ?

    We will try dancing in a few competitions and see how it goes....

    I am not closing the deal yet but touch wood this is the right partner for me.
     
  2. and123

    and123 Well-Known Member

    How long have you been dancing with these two? Chemistry aside, it sometimes takes a while to "connect" with a new partner.
     
  3. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    yes, of course there is chemistry... all sorts of chemistry possible between people, whether dancers or not. that's a great feeling, when you're on someone's "wavelength".

    my recommendation: dance with each partner for a very knowledgeable coach and get professional feedback. a good coach will see other dimensions of compatibility as well. since the better dancer isn't the one that feels right at the moment, it's something to take into consideration, IMO. maybe there is a reason that it doesn't feel right, some simple adjustments. or maybe the chemistry of that one is one that is better for the long haul. the feeling of warmth and familiarity may take some time to ignite -- it happens.

    get feedback... :)
     
  4. dbk

    dbk Well-Known Member

    I think chemistry is important, yes... but not in the actual dancing. Yes, you will have great dancing chemistry with some partners. But that might turn out to be a burden, once something goes "wrong," something starts to feel off in your dancing, as always happens when you're learning. Then you will feel like you've lost "the magic".

    Instead, you should be looking for good practice chemistry. How well do your personalities get along, can you discuss technique and what's right/wrong about a step without getting angry, that sort of thing.

    Just my experience, anyway :)
     
  5. Laura

    Laura New Member

    Another data point...chemistry isn't always a two-way street. To you it might feel all wonderful and dreamy, but it's possible that the other guy isn't feeling anything special at all. It happens :(

    I'm not saying that's what's happening in your case though.
     
  6. star_gazer

    star_gazer Active Member

    It doesn't seem like there is a very strong correlation between what looks right and what feels right.
     
  7. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    I know some individuals that are absolutely convinced of the importance of "chemistry" in dancing. I am not convinced as of yet that it is absolutely necessary. It might make things easier, in practice and on the floor, but necessary - I'm not sure.

    And I can confirm Laura's observation (especially coming from a pro-am background), sometimes the "dance chemistry" may only happen on one side (especially if they're compensating for you).
     
  8. I am not doing pro-am I am doing am-am.

    I think the chemistry is 2 way as this particular person is very interested in sealing up the partnership asap.

    I am a bit wary though and decided on dancing a few competition with him before we decided to dance together long term.
     
  9. Nik

    Nik Member

    Which partner can *you* progress and learn with better? Think about which partnership has more potential to grow, instead of initial results.
     
  10. madmaximus

    madmaximus Well-Known Member

    Chemistry cannot be learned, technique can be picked up anywhere.

    If I'm to go on a long journey, I'd prefer someone who can laugh with me.



    m
     
  11. robertje06

    robertje06 New Member

    I think that in the end, chemistry IS important. As said before, this cannot be learned, while technique can be learned. Spend a couple of hours reading the technique book, spend some money on an pro, and you can start learning technique.

    At a certain moment, you have to become one with your dance partner and melt into each other so to speak, because you have to move across the floor like one unit, instead of 2 people dancing a hardlearned choreography, incidently at the same time.

    Moreover, your dancepartner has to feel what you want to do next, not only through body connection, but through chemistry, feeling, etc etc.

    Lets say there is no chemistry, and you both have studied very well on your choreography, which is based upon lets say a 400 m2 floor. when you go to lets say an idsf comp, or to speak at your imagination to blackpool, you will see the floor is way different, and there are way more dancers in the field (Here in NL normally 12-14, in blackpool over 20)

    Your choreography does not fit in, and with that much dancers, you dont have the space to dance your routine. Now chemistry fits in. If you dont have any feeling or chemistry, you both will run into problems, because you will try to dance around other dancers, and your partner doesnt know what you are doing.

    In other words, I think good floorcraft, deter from standard routine, and going back to your routine, all relates also to good chemistry.

    Regards
     
  12. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    I disagree. Sometimes people do grow on you.
     
  13. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    while it cannot be learned, it can be acquired in the way joe says IMV...sometimes it takes a while to develop for a variety of reasons
     
  14. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    What is it but learning? While the chemistry may not be immediate, you're still learning how to relate to the person over time, just not actively doing so.
     
  15. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    mebbe....I don't wanna pick nits...but I doubt learning is how I would always categorize it...granted, sometimes it is about learning more about the person and growing to like what you learn...but I think other times it is simply about having reservations that a certain amount of time allows you to drop...not neccessarily for knowing the person any better but for simply having spent more time with them in general...shrug...but...either way....I do think that sometimes it can be something gradual rather than instant..that is certain
     
  16. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    i agree, in the sense that that's a particular kind of chemistry in itself.

    everyone has "chemistry" of some sort... chemistry is the way two personalities & energies mix. there are just so many ways it manifests. some chemistry takes awhile to ignite and bear its fruit. some chemistry is great for working together dependably over time, while others might feel wonderful but don't really support a hard-working relationship.
     
  17. skwiggy

    skwiggy Well-Known Member

    There are other factors to consider in choosing which to partner with, beyond chemistry and current level. What about short and long term goals? Frequency and style of practice? Ability to work well together? Healthy exchange of constructive criticism? Choice of instructor(s)? How often and where you want to compete? Funds available for as much instruction and competition as you want to do? Take compatibility on ALL of these things into account in your decision. They all matter a lot for a successful partnership.
     
  18. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    Having a partner who is technically great but who you have no chemistry with is ok for stuff like practice or maybe some competitions.

    However, having chemistry with someone is fantastic - even if the technical part may have some room for improvement - and if the chemistry is actually mutual - nothing like it!!
     
  19. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    Yes, provided that the "chemistry" includes some practical benefits such as an interest in seeking lessons together, and provided that it's possible to get to good coaches often enough, I think I'd recommend the person you enjoy working with. The dancing is the part of the partnership that has the most prospect for improvement over time.
     
  20. madmaximus

    madmaximus Well-Known Member


    Learning to "like" somebody is different from chemistry.

    One is intellectual, the other is chemical (hence the name?)

    My assertion is that Chemistry (interpersonal attraction) is biologically based (with an increasing body of research to back it)--hence, if you don't have the right (ie compatible) chemical composition you cannot have true chemistry, but rather a pattern of increasing TOLERANCE for another individual.

    This is something I see often enough in my work.

    The OP wanted an OPINION of choice between (a) a more proficient dancer but no chemistry with, and (b) a less proficient dancer but with chemistry.

    My opinion (and experience for that matter) is that it is far easier to progress with someone you have chemistry with, rather than someone you do not.

    Furthermore, when choosing, it is useless to speculate on matters of the future where there is no certainty nor control, to wit:
    • Learning curves of both gentlemen are unknown--so she cannot know if one is necessarily better than the other. AND, having advanced technique is a useless advantage unless it can be cast against some objective measure like a timeline (which we were not provided), or ability to learn with a lady with the OP's personality make-up.
    • There is no certainty that the OP will end up learning to like or get along with the other gentleman--so why not go for the one she does have it with?
    • On the other side of the coin, there is no certainty either that the one she has chemistry with will turn out good (or bad for that matter)

    What is certain (at least from what has been provided), is that there is a good chance ALREADY that she would get along with the gentleman that she has chemistry with, and a better than average chance that chemistry will help the couple improve faster.






    m
     

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