General Dance Discussion > Does dancing make you question who you are?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by brujo, Dec 7, 2005.

  1. brujo

    brujo New Member

    Ever see your beliefs and attitudes change after you started dancing?

    As some people have pointed out before, dancing is sometimes seen as sinful, or something that should be repressed. I admit that before I started salsa dancing, I didn't think too much of going to bars at night, but now that after I've started doing it, I found my old beliefs challenged more and more.

    Other things like confidence and physical ability have also changed. Before I believed that only some really naturally gifted people were the ones that were able to dance, now I understand that good genes only get you so far.

    I think the biggest thing I've gotten out of dancing is the world of possibilities, that you really can conquer anything and be anything you want to be.

    But it also has made me question things like my commitment to my job, which I thought was very important, but then realized that it wasn't. I have also heard about people leaving marriages because dancing made them realize how trully unhappy they were ( Edie the Salsa freak comes to mind ).

    So the question, good or bad, is has dancing made you question what is important to you? How has it changed you? Do you have any regrets?
  2. Medira

    Medira New Member

    I have absolutely no regrets since I started dancing, but then again, I have no regrets in life so far. It's something that I've had to work on a lot, but I figure that life is too short to harbour regrets and, if you can take something constructive or positive from the experience, then there should be no need to feel regret anyway.

    Dancing has definitely changed me for the better. It has made me more confident and outgoing. I've now lost 70lbs. since I started back in the middle of February and I'm in better shape than I've been in at any time since my accident. I've also made some amazing friends, whom I wouldn't trade for the world...and I couldn't picture myself without.

    I have definitely changed my perspective since I took up ballroom. I'm no longer living my life from my office chair. I'm living it from the dance floor instead! I don't live for a paycheque...I live for the music and the time I get to spend with those who are most imporant to me, as well as those magical moments that come from a "perfect" know the ones, where the song clicks, the partner clicks and you feel like there's nothing better in the world.

    There is no way I could find anything to regret about this.
  3. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    Yeah, my life has changed radically. Two years ago I was a geeky, self-conscious, unpopular, totally un-elegant teen who felt like she was worth less. Now I'm confident of my body, graceful, am gaining popularity (among men as well!) and I go out more. I'm not afraid to dance, not afraid of body contact, not afraid of expressing my feelings through my body. I realised most of the stuff you hear about dancing are wrong, and others are truer than you would think.
    Like brujo, I realised talent or having turned out feet or a good body does not a good dancer make. Talent is simply being good at something, more so than others. That doesn't mean you love it, or that it makes you happy. If you love it, it makes you happy and you're better at getting it, then you're on the right track. But all that talent stuff is just propaganda. Sure, there were dancers in history that could dance like no other, that glowed when they were on stage, that managed to express their feelings so eloquently through their dancing that you couldn't stop looking.
    But even they, who had IT,would practice until late hours and sometimes felt frustrated or conflicted. IT, in the words of brujo, can only get you so far. It's persistence and practice and so much love for dancing that makes us the dancers we are.
    I learnt (actually, I'm still learning) that it's okay to make mistakes. I learnt that we're not perfect, but we don't need to be. What to my eyes is an imperfection might actually be the reason someone falls in love with me, or the reason I can feel what my body is doing. Imperfections make us human and real. Perfect is for Barbie.
    I get out more. I'm not afraid to dance because "someone will say something". I dress more sexy, because I feel like it. I am liberated. I was introduced in a world of colour, and there's no way I'm going back to black and white.
    I experiment. I don't judge so harshly. I don't think all the time and instead act on impulses. I live more. I blame myself less.

    Twilight Elena
  4. It's Wonderful

    It's Wonderful New Member

    What a lovely post, T_E. And one thing you said -
    - completely echoed my own thoughts on dance! I ran and checked my journal, and found I had written almost the exact same phrase about 6 months after I started dancing. Again, beautiful post; it’s nice to hear another young-ish person so moved by dance.
  5. scullystwin42

    scullystwin42 Well-Known Member

    I would say that it definitely makes me happier when i'm dancing than when i'm not. Less... philosophical, I am totally more aware of my body - in a good way! I realize the weakness and strengths inherent in my body and more of WHY I have a difficulty with a step. It helps, because i get MUCH less frustrated. I wish i would have had this awareness back 15 years ago, when i was competitive gymnast. I have since realized that i never really had any technique doing gymnastics, i just used brute strength. That really doesn't work with dance.

    as for the person who realized they were unhappy in their marriage, i feel so bad for them. I've realized how lucky I am to have a husband who supports me, even though he doesn't dance with me. He likes me dancing because i am a lot happier when i dance.
  6. Indiana_Jay

    Indiana_Jay Active Member

    Wow! Congratulations!

  7. Medira

    Medira New Member

    Thanks Jay! :) Ya know, it's funny, I was stuck at the 65 lbs. mark for almost a month and getting frustrated, but after the past two weeks I dropped the next 5 and I'm feeling really proud of it. :)
  8. Indiana_Jay

    Indiana_Jay Active Member

    As well you should! I'll bet the weight loss has helped you feel better physically as well as emotionally. I'm happy for you.

  9. Medira

    Medira New Member

    Thank you so much, sweetheart. :)

    It's amazing how much better I've been feeling. Prior to getting hurt at a club in the middle of October, I hadn't had back pain *at all* since May. This is unbelievable to me because I had doctors telling me that I'd be on medication and in pain for the rest of my life. I stopped taking the pain killers about 3 days after I got out of the hospital (I refused to be stuck on pills for the rest of my life) and the specialist that I went to see on Friday said he's amazed at the progression he's seen in my back. It's wonderful. :) ...and it's all dance too. I'll start at the gym for the first time in absolutely ages in the new year for strength building and tone purposes, so prior to that, this has all been due to dancing.
  10. chachachacat

    chachachacat Well-Known Member

    Rock on, Medira! You go, girl!!!:D
  11. kansas49er

    kansas49er New Member

    Fantastic! Perhaps I need your secret! Congratulations on doing so well!
  12. Medira

    Medira New Member

    A 45 minute lesson twice a week, a 2 1/2 hour long studio social once a week, 3-5 hours of high-energy salsa 2-4 nights a week and 3-5 hours of social ballroom 1-3 times a week. Add in solo practice in the basement as often as you can and vary as your schedule permits! :)
  13. lynn

    lynn New Member

    what's "social ballroom" :confused:???
  14. Medira

    Medira New Member

    We have a few clubs that hold ballroom social dances. They aren't affiliated with any studios and anybody who's interested, regardless of skill level, can attend. It's like going out to a salsa club...just for ballroom.
  15. Shooshoo

    Shooshoo New Member

    Physically, it have improved my figure and posture, that's for sure.
    Whether I have changed or not, not sure?
    I am more relaxed in dancing, not as shy as I used to be, that's for sure.
    I don't think I feel much different, but maybe because I also do other expression releasing activities (painting, handwork and other forms of exercise).
    Some of my friends think that I have softened a bit after dancing, showing part of my feminine side. Maybe :rolleyes: ? (I'll have to ask other people is they feel I have changed).
  16. lynn

    lynn New Member

    wow, that's nice! The clubs here are just like regular clubs - you dance maybe salsa and hustle but it's mostly rock 'n roll music.
  17. Pathological Dancer

    Pathological Dancer New Member

    It changed my outlook on my regular job. I am not as bored since I have another activity, a more relaxed activity to look forward to every week.
  18. Medira

    Medira New Member

    It's quite nice actually. The venues usually have a nice, large floor. The crowd is usually older, but we don't mind. Actually, because the clubs usually have an older clientele, they close earlier than a normal club, so we just move over to a salsa venue after, if we're still up for more dancing. :)
  19. Shooshoo

    Shooshoo New Member

    Come to think of it, maybe this has happened to me as well. I'm complaining less about my new job and just getting the work done (even though I've been doing it for only two months). I've come to a realization that I have to work (because I just have to) as long as I have time and can afford to do what I like in my free time.
  20. Spitfire

    Spitfire Well-Known Member

    I can't say that dancing has changed my attitudes and beliefs. After all, it wasn't for such purposes that I took it up. It has been quite a blessing though; nothing I'd rather do more.

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