etiquette regarding thanking a judge after a comp

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by fascination, Nov 15, 2012.

  1. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    so...I am wondering it this would seem like brown nosing....because I have noticed that someone who used to mark me consistently poorly (like, over years), has (for the past two days) marked me well....and is someone who I have not changed interaction with regarding coaching or attending anything of theirs.... I feel very grateful and relieved because I hold them in high regard...would it be inappropriate to thank them after the comp? Because I don't want to create any mis-perception or be inappropriate...I make it my business usually to never speak to a judge unless spoken to
  2. GGinrhinestones

    GGinrhinestones Well-Known Member

    I don't know about thanking a judge, per se...but if the situation presents itself, I don't see anything wrong with using it as a learning opportunity to ask a judge what they have seen as a change in your dancing that has led to improved scores...clearly it is something you have been working on, and you want to keep working on it. That acknowledges that you hold them and their opinion in a high regard without directly saying "thank you" - and a direct "thank you" would just seem odd to me in this situation.
  3. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    interesting..I feel that asking more of them might be an imposition particularly because I do not know them well at all...but I appreciate the additional perspective...

    I am also particularly interested in what pros think about this
  4. jump'n'jive

    jump'n'jive Active Member

    do not ask a judge what they think about your dancing, unless you have solid report with them. in passing a simple thank you for the marks would be fine and i don't see anything wrong with that. whatever you say keep it light and simple.
  5. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    ftr, I would never approach a judge to ask what they thought about my dancing...I just want to be clear about that...if I had that level of interest, I would see what I could do to get a coaching...long after a comp...and, as I said, I never ever speak to judges at comps at all...unless they acknowledge me first and then it is light non-dance related chit chat from here to there at their initiation...the only time I ever made an exception was when I knew a particular judge who had a student who is a good friend who was going through some personal upheaval and that was just to ask that they give her a hug for me..it is the only exception I have made in 7 1/2 years....I am simply only asking if it is kosher to simply say, after the dancing, that I noticed and was thankful that they seemed to have found some things favorable about my dancing...and it is not something that I would ever make a regular habit....I just happen to appreciate this...but again, I do not want to seem inappropriate so it is no big deal for me to leave it alone which is always my default
  6. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    I don't know, I just had coaching with a judge who told me he often WISHES he could explain to dancers why he gave the marks he did. So, obviously while in keeping with the rules, they might not mind explaining what it is they're seeing.
  7. tangotime

    tangotime Well-Known Member

    If a competitor approached me after the comp. with that comment, I would just say you are welcome. That does NOT mean its open season for discussion . We ( judges ) are not allowed to discuss results, as its really unethical, during an event .

    If anyone really would like answers, then, simply book a lesson .
  8. madmaximus

    madmaximus Well-Known Member

    Typically, when a couple is introduced in the finals (or as they exit the floor), they can signify appreciation of the judges by bowing to them.

    I think thanking a judge after your performance is not improper, but anything beyond that I think, like conversations on one's dancing with a judge (during the comp proper) would border on impropriety.





    m
    fascination and Bailamosdance like this.
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    yes...it would never enter my mind to discuss the dancing....never....but, I am thinking that if it makes me this concerned I will perhaps just leave it alone...
  10. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    After you no long have the possibility to be marked by the judge at the comp:

    "Thank you Judge X for coming to Comp Y. I know it's a hard and sometimes thankless job. I noticed that my marks from you have improved, which I take to mean you feel my dancing has improved. I would like to take this moment to thank you for that indicator."
    fascination and Bailamosdance like this.
  11. 3wishes

    3wishes Well-Known Member

    Fas, I've done exactly that. After 6 years of not receiving ANY marks from a very high level, well respected judge, this year seemed to be my breakthrough year in the eyes of this judge. I went up, while the judge was not involved with anything and seemed to have some quiet time in the ballroom, and simply extended my hand for a handshake and said "thank you, it's a good feeling to know that my "xyz" dancing now has mark earning ability"...I received a warm smile, a handshake and a few small comments. It was not a big deal nor seen as brown-nosing. I somehow get the impression that judges receive too many of the "why didn't you mark me?" questions and at times truly wish for a thank you every now and then.
  12. Jananananana

    Jananananana Active Member

    Thanking a person for their work is not considered brown-nosing. I think Joe said it perfectly, although, personally, I'd leave out the "thankless job" part.
    I've also asked judges, who I know, after a competition about what they thought. It's usually the best feedback that I get.
  13. bluebereft

    bluebereft Member

    Just for another pt of view:

    One of the judges at a comp we attended was a coach from whom we took a couple of lessons when we were just novices. We went over after our events were over to say hi and to ask he was getting along; he seemed perturbed and said that we shoulldn't be talking to judges at comps. It was fine after we told him our events had ended, but... just saying. It wasn't the best of times.
  14. Jananananana

    Jananananana Active Member

    Yes, judges aren't suppose to talk to competitors AT competitions. Afterwards is fine.
  15. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Actually, they're not supposed to talk to competitors ABOUT THE COMPETITION for X number of hours after (24?) Not about the competition? Or the dancer's done? The judges themselves do not always seem concerned. One stopped me in the hall to ask me when I'd moved out here (three years ago, he's judged me at least twice before, but I think he finally realized he knew me) and chat for a minute. But it was clear I was finished for the weekend and on my way out the door. And judges stop and talk to the pros, often seems to be general chat/other competitions like ones they own that are upcoming naming no names... But I think talking about the marks/your dancing would definitely be off-limits and booking future coaching would seem like a HUGE no-no. (Could seem like sucking up.)

    ETA: Oh, and cooing over babies. NO ONE is immune to stopping and cooing over babies, not even judges. (Heck, even those of us who see said babies on a regular basis--TWO of our pros have infants now, and yes, it's a boy and a girl, and yes, we're already all telling them "Aren't you two going to be a cute pair in about twelve years in the Youth Latin?")
  16. JANATHOME

    JANATHOME Well-Known Member

    Curious, Fasc, what did you decide on this?
  17. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    leaving it alone
    debmc likes this.

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