Family Support for Dancing

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by pygmalion, Oct 4, 2003.

  1. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    How COULD they, Macmoto? I can't understand. It's not like you were out shooting craps(gambling) or selling your body or anything! GEEZ! Was your former guy(spouse? boyfriend?) so conservative as to not like the idea of you dancing, or was he simply jealous? And your parents- what is it that bothers them about you dancing?
  2. setsuna713

    setsuna713 New Member

    My S.O. doesn't know what to do about my dancing yet. He doesn't really have any interest in it, but he really wants to do whatever I do. What we did as a compromise is he picked up a little dancing so we can do it together (begining east/west coast and salsa) and he leaves the ballroom to me. So far it's working well. I'm actually getting him to go to a workshop this weekend with me for a day.
  3. etchuck

    etchuck New Member

    My cat would just as well prefer I stay at home. She stays away from me while I try practicing on my personal basement floor...

    All kidding aside, I think my family was curious about why I would pick up yet another hobby. They've seen me dance hustle at a New Years Eve party a few years ago, and I think they were impressed (not to mention the entire rest of the audience who cleared the floor out when they saw that I dance pretty well). My parents saw me dance ballroom for the first time last May when visiting me; granted, it helped when for a few of my dances my ballroom-dancing clubmate was dancing with me (you'll have to see the pictures of us two dancing on the website to know what I mean by that... and she much prefers standard than Latin [which is my preference]).

    My once long-time SO however couldn't dance worth a flip. She'd wrong-foot every WALTZ I'd try to dance with her. Turned out that I would give up dancing until we broke up and (three years later) moved.
  4. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    Cocodrilo, I'm not sure what the problem was with my parents -- especially considering my mum used to dance when she was young. I suppose she felt I was too old to be obssessed about dancing :lol: (when she was my age, she was bringing up teenage children!). They may not be supportive but at least they are not hostile either. Just a bit taken aback. It's not as if I compete or teach dance or anything, it's just a hobby, so they probably didn't understand why a 3 week break should be so hard to take.

    As for my ex, see http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=51389#51389
  5. Sonia in Aalborg

    Sonia in Aalborg New Member

    Hi! Nice dancing tales all of you. I live a 1000 miles away from my folks and they therefore don't have a big role to play as far as my dancing goes. But my mum's very supportive of it and is always enouraging my bf to continue. Don't think my father would appreciate me dancing 3 nights a week though! My bf's parents on the other hand think he's too stiff and will never move, but we're both proving them wrong! :) I think my mother regrets the fact that my dad didn't do any serious dancing and I don't want that to happen to me-it was a big issue bet my bf and me in the beginning coz I started with salsa first and threw myself wholeheartedly into it whereas he's NEVER danced until now and had no clue about rhythm! So, it's a major step for him and he's doing fab! :D
  6. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    Good for you, Sonia! I'm happy that your boyfriend can now move!
  7. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    my family probably didn't care one way or the other until they got to see me as a background dancer on tv a couple of years ago. my nieces watched & said all their friends thought it was cool and they wanted lessons the next time i visited them, and of course mom & dad got to brag to their friends...
  8. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    That's cool. How did you get the background dancer gig? Just curious. A friend of mine who had just started ballroom lessons maybe six months before got a gig by accident. He went to audition for a singing part, and was dancing around backstage while waiting for his turn to sing. They hired him on the spot as a dancer/extra. Pretty cool. :)
  9. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    no big deal. i know the guy who was hired to do the choreography. my former teachers used be members of his troupe which is how i met him originally. i started dancing at a venue he DJs from time to time & after a while he started referring me one shot teaching gigs and also had me fill in to teach a class or two when he was double booked.
  10. Two Left Feet

    Two Left Feet New Member

    Interesting topic here!

    I started taking dance lessons about 5 months ago with my S.O. She and her friends got some good laughs when we first started because they could not fathom how such a "stiff" guy could dance, especially the Latin dances. It really was a struggle for me during the first couple of lessons when I simply couldn't do the Cuban motion. I could not bend the knee of one leg and have both feet planted on the floor at the same time--the heel of the bent leg would invariably come off the floor and my hips would stay straight as a board. A lot of you probably take this motion for granted, but I basically needed to learn to crawl first before I could walk. As a fairly athletic guy, this was a sobering experience!! I ended up spending a lot of time in front the mirror and limbering up my hips which never moved like that before. So basically I had to put in a lot of effort just to get to a point that is probably "natural" for most people. Now you're probably wondering how this fits little story fits into the current thread. It does, and it's part of my frustration that I am about to share.

    Well, we've been introduced now to the basics of Swing, Mambo, Cha Cha, Merengue, Fox Trot, and Samba. I've worked HARD over the last 5 months. While I would still consider myself an unabashed novice, I feel as though I'm starting to "get it". I'm always listening to dance-related music and spend a lot of time visualizing the dance steps when my S.O. aren't practicing. I've even read about the history of the different dances since this stuff is starting to get interesting. Now the kicker. We NEVER spend any time practicing because as the dance steps have progressed and become more difficult, my S.O. isn't having as much fun as when she was fine and I was bumbling across the floor. She therefore makes up different excuses to not practice. It's frustrating!!

    Mind you, I'm still a terrible dancer but I can confidently say that I progressed beyond my S.O., which is pathetic given how terrible I was to start. And the humor at my expense has definitely ended. I've spent what feel like countless hours trying to improve myself as a partner dancer, now that the dances are becoming a little more difficult, my S.O. is declaring that it's more fun to just throw her arms up in the air and shake her hips to music in a freestyle form. OK, I'll give her that freestyle has its time and place, but that's not what we're studying! (I secretly suspect that she is uncomfortable with me becoming a "better" dancer so now she just wants to freestyle, which is something that I am currently inept. But I guess this a topic of conversation for a different internet discussion board!!)

    So, now we've hit a crossroads where the reluctant partner has shifted from me to her. But the problem for me now is that I am hooked, but I'm obviously not going to get better without a regular dance partner and I'm certainly not going to go out social dancing without the S.O.

    Has anyone ever experienced this kind of situation and if so how was it resolved?? I'm afraid I see the writing on the wall and my dancing days are over before they even got started once our paid-for lessons run out. Circumstances dictate that is it simply not possible to continue without my S.O. as a partner. We both "agreed" to take up dancing as a shared hobby, rather than doing our own separate things. So I'm racking my brain here with thoughts of how to keep her motivated and encouraged. Quite honestly, I'm mystified that I'm even in this position.

    :?
  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Wow. That's a deep and difficult situation. I'm going to start a separate thread with a new name so that people will notice it and, hopefully, give you some useful replies.

    Good luck.
  12. Has anyone been unsupportive with your dancing ?

    For some reason my mum is unsupportive with my dancing. She thinks that I should spend more time cleaning house, cooking and making babies instead and I am 'abandoning' my husband.

    She also thinks that playing piano ranks much higher up there compared to dancing. God knows.

    So I stop to discuss anything dancing with her. Will not take her to competition/showcase ever again too.

    Thing is I hate sitting there thumping the wood aka playing the piano.

    My DH however could not care less unless if I bug him to do more practice. Actually he couldn't wait until I get a dance partner so I can get off his back :)

    Do you have anyone in your life who is against your dancing ?
  13. star_gazer

    star_gazer Active Member

    I am a mom and I am insanely supportive of my kids dancing. However, my mother thinks I should stop wasting my money and the kids should hurry up and finish college and get real jobs. And maybe she's right but... :|
  14. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    I know there are several people on here who's families ddefinitely do not support their dancing. I've got one sister who has no interest in it herself, but still supports me, and rest of immediate family is in studio as much or more than I am, so I'm definitely blessed in this respect.
  15. Bella

    Bella New Member

    This was a while ago... I went out to dinner with my parents. I poured my heart out about dance and how much it means to me. I remember my dad looking at me like, "wow, I never knew you felt that strongly about it." A week later, we had discussions about setting up a studio in my home...
  16. Bella

    Bella New Member

    So the moral of my story - Sometimes, when they not only see, but hear the depth of your passion and happiness... they'll melt in the palm of your hands. :)

    Good luck to you sweetie.
  17. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    My parents aren't particularly supportive. I know I've whined about it here on D-F a bit. Like you, I'm married and my husband doesn't mind in the least. It makes me happy, he's happy when I'm happy, I'm an adult and married and on my own...so it's none of their business, when push comes to shove. Like you, I've just stopped talking to them about it, and shut down the conversation (or change topics) if they bring it up. It's sad, but that's life.
  18. When I was younger and living at home, mum used to make me play the piano but she wont let me do any other dancing than ballet.

    I actually lied my way through and managed to work as a commercial dancer for a while when I was a teenager.

    She also told me that unless I am world champion there is no point for me to practice that much.

    Well, isnt it going the other way around ?
  19. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    My mum is supportive, she's the one who got me into it, but isn't really keen on the level that I want to take it to. She's purely a social dancer, dabbling in some low level competitions, but I want to eventually go registered.
    She doesn't like driving me around to new studio either, because it's too far away and at night.
  20. emeralddancer

    emeralddancer Active Member

    Thankfully I have a very supportive husband. Also my teenagers are equally supportive as are my kids friends and my own friends.

    However - my mom. different story. She is perpetually negative ... like she came to my first showcase (and only one as far as I am concerned) and instead of saying anything nice, she was like ... finally nice to see you dressed up. Sheesh ... (my dad was like Nancy, if you have nothing nice to say, don't speak at all....how I love my daddy!)

    Thank God my husband loves the jeans and t look on me. LOL I have to dress up for work, don't want to in my down time. sigh .........

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