Flower boy is not getting any dates from me!!!

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by SPratt74, May 19, 2006.

  1. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    hmmm I'd say that depends alot upon how long one has been hurt and how badly....though I tend to agree...sometimes boredom is very peaceful, and healthy...sometimes its a ticking bomb....all depends
  2. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    darlin, trust me on this...no one can analyze themselves effectively (or affectively for that matter, lol)
  3. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    oh really;) ?
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    ya know what else spratt...IMO...ya gotta get outside of yourself a bit...we all do...what I mean is heck, we all have wounds...we all have the ability to royally screw up a relationship, any relationship...we can't live out of that space...we just move forward and do the best that we can and learn from the past but don't drag it around with us like a ball and chain....fear is a useless companion and usually nets us what we are expecting....and I'd say that that's another fine thing to consider...what we are expecting...IMO the less expectations and dreams and fantasies, the better the reality...this is not to say that I never have a goal or a hope or a standard for a relationship but its not in the forefront and I'm not constantly examining it....just random thoughts that may or may not apply to you...hug
  5. ssjss

    ssjss New Member

    I agreed some much with you here. If you never chance anything you never really live.
  6. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    That's true, and this is why I'm going to go for it! Ok, no I'm not going to go for it, because he already asked me to dance with him lol! We got into a conversation at work today, and he said that he really wanted to learn how to Ballroom Dance. I told him how much the cost was and everything else that I knew about our studio.

    He asked if you needed a partner, and I said no. I said it's all very professional and that you can dance with whomever. He then said that he would like to take privates, but that he's saving the money to buy a new car. So, he can only spend $20 a week on lessons. (For us it's $10 a night if you don't go with a package deal.)

    So, I told him that I would get him a calendar, so that he can decide what he wants to learn. I told him that I'll let him know where the place is at and everything else lol. (And later on I'll tell him that I'll partner with him on the nights that he decides to go on lol. I should have said that during our talk, but I didn't think about it until afterwards lol. But I still have time to work this in lol!!!)

    Then we talked about going to clubs and dancing there. He asked if it were hard to find someone to dance with at clubs, because I already knew how to dance. And I said in some ways it is depending on the situation. Then I told him how we go out to the clubs and that it's free if he wants to come out on those nights and that all you have to pay is if you want drinks etc.

    So, how did I do? Did I handle this ok lol? He asked me a ton of questions. I tried to answer like I wasn't desperate or anything lol, because I'm not, but sometimes you can sound like that if you are not answering the right way. It was great too, because he asked me this stuff in front of everyone. He didn't care who was right by us (which was all the girls lol). He said he's not afraid of making a fool of himself, so I think that's why he had courage to just say whatever lol. Do you think he's interested, and how should I respond to him now? Should I keep doing what I'm doing or what lol?
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    If he's still plugging away and asking questions, chances are you're doing just fine. :cool: :D
  8. DancePoet

    DancePoet New Member

    Come to think of it, I know more then one. ;) :lol:
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    lol! My elder sister is one, as well. She gives very, very good advice. Too bad her clients wear her out, most days.
  10. DancePoet

    DancePoet New Member

    I agree with Pygmalion.

    Only other thing I'm sensing here is that he may have a sincere interest in taking dance lessons. Since you can provide him with the answers and you are handling yourself well, then his makes it easy for him to ask such questions in front of the others. So ... becareful of setting your expectations to high while building upon the current level of interaction.
  11. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    That's what I'm afraid of. The thing that gets me is that there is another guy at work that has been Ballroom Dancing for five years, and this guy knows this. So, why did he wait this long to ask me questions when he knows the other guy better and he knows that he has been taking dancing lessons too? ;)
  12. GalacticDancer44M

    GalacticDancer44M New Member


    My gut feeling is that he is definately interested in you. Time to show him your shines and melt him in his tracks!
  13. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Oh I so hope so lol! I can intrigue him with my Latin sway lol. Ok, that's what I like to call my move anyways lol! ;)
  14. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I second pygmalian's answer to this
  15. GalacticDancer44M

    GalacticDancer44M New Member

    Don't dance with him at first. Intrique him with your moves from afar. He'll be watching from the corner of his eye. Maybe don't even dance with him the first day or so. Let him dance with others, then after a couple of days of anticipation let him feel the passion translate thru the palms of your hands and your frame into his. He'll treat you with respect and admiration.
  16. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    That's a great idea! I could have him dance with one of the instructors while I go and dance with the other guys. You don't think he won't get mad about that though since he knows that he's my guest?
  17. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Lol! I had to go back and read that post, but good I'm glad lol! I love that answer lol! ;)
  18. GalacticDancer44M

    GalacticDancer44M New Member

    I guess I have some mixed feelings on this. My first response is make him wait and if he's interested he'll come back to dance with you. But, on the other hand if he feels somewhat insecure in his dancing abilities to yours, he'll appreciate you inviting him to dance with you. That's how I've felt. I didn't want to drag down someone with more skill, so I wouldn't ask them. But, if they'd ask me to dance I would. Just be supportive and give encouragement. Guys need that too.
  19. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Hmm... that's a really good point and a really good idea! ;)
  20. AzureDreamer

    AzureDreamer New Member



    Well... my feeling is that people have this (on/off) switch when it comes to romance in their brains... (it probably has something to do with humans being both social and monogamous); and its important that you get this guy to consider you romantically from the start. Its very hard to overcome inertia in a relationship.

    Most guys who would ask about dancing are probably interested in dancing, but they are also looking to meet people generally. One of those people he would like to meet is probably you; but you haven't made that transition yet into the "romantic" category yet (or else he would have just asked you out for a date.)

    so... just "waiting" strikes me as a bad idea. You need to ensure that he knows that you want to be pursued.

    I think you are always better off inviting him to "ask you" to dance. (That's true generally, but really important to get him thinking of you romanticly.) There's a lot of ways to do this... but if he's new to ballroom dancing, you can just inform him that "Its considered customary for the gentleman to ask ladies to dance; and you should -always- ask the girl you came with -several- times." (give him a squeeze on the arm or hand when you say that.)

    and always take full advantage of open statements like "I really appreciate you dancing with me" (or whatever) with a "the appropriate way to thank a girl is (dinner at some nice restraunt)" (-particularily- if he is saving money for a car... if he is spending money on you instead, that immediately makes him value you more.)

    -----
    so... main point... waiting is bad, playing it "cool" is bad. What you want to do is let him know what you want him to do, and he needs to do it. Being hard to get is good; but you want to do it so he is obsessing about you, not getting bored. ("I really like a guy who isn't afraid to take time to get to know someone rather than just rushing into things; it makes it so much more special when it happens." ... say that while touching him...)

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