following or 'dancing the woman's role'?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by jfm, Jul 28, 2012.

  1. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    I like that post and all that smilies
  2. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Yeah, I know. I'm just not so sure that the women know.


    For those of us who experience it, it's why people decide to learn Spanish so they can go to BsAs to experience it more often, it's why we can get so fanatical about things, it's why some will even abandon their friends and family to move to BsAs.

    (I guess it makes us sort of like an addict on crack.)

    ;)



    OK, maybe that was a little over the top, but I'm trying to lighten the mood too.

    [​IMG]
  3. jantango

    jantango Active Member

  4. UKDancer

    UKDancer Well-Known Member

  5. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member


    yeah i know... I just think its getting way too serious for my taste....

    I just dance ..what happens..... happens, then its over.......
  6. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Do you think most everyone experiences this? I think a lot of people do not, and that is the source of the great disconnect between people in tango.
  7. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Heretic!!!

    [​IMG]
  8. UKDancer

    UKDancer Well-Known Member

    Sadly, I don't think that many do, but it is impossible to know.

    My own theory is that very few tango students get to grips with tango music. They can't (or at least, don't) connect with the music as an equal partner in the dance, and so they are bound also to fail to connect with their dance partner. If the steps are considered important, there probably wasn't much else in the dance ...
  9. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    cool!


    I'm too busy having fun to worry about connection
  10. I am more optimistic. I think that most follows respond well to forgetting the steps and dancing on an emotional level. Most will let themselves enjoy the flow of emotions. Its just that the tear stains on our shirts can be embaressing.
  11. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Limited opportunity for outright deviation, yes, but almost unlimited for her to add her own flair, and extensive for her to subtly tweak things (minor changes to timing, etc). Except when the guy is so bound-and-determined that he.is.in.charge.of.the.dance.PERIOD, to the point of not even liking embellishments. It happens, it's patronising, and it sucks. (And, IME, the guys generally are nowhere near as good as they think they are. I always wonder if it's an issue of lack-of-skill being dressed up as a preference.)
  12. JohnEm

    JohnEm Active Member

    Oh I see - your partner dances for you and you dance for yourself.
    Or maybe for the audience?

    Nice.

    That's not tango.
  13. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    I had the most amazing milonga last night, and El Portenito will never be the same. Who was leading became irrelevant because we were playing so much inside the music, listening to each other, but at such speed there wasn't anytime to think, just feel what's happening.
    I was steering us around the dance floor..but that was about the extent of what was being led. :D

    I have to say it was real high octane dancing, and I don't think many leaders or followers could do this, but I dont see why they couldnt learn some of the skills that makes this possible.
  14. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Wow. See, and that's so far beyond what I was even thinking about. Awesome for you if it worked and you liked it, which seems to be the case!

    I confess that I don't have near enough skill for that (which could have to do with why it didn't cross my mind). I was thinking about more mundane sorts of things--like simple foot crosses in front/behind in the course of a step, or moving softly & fluidly v. sharp and "tense", or suggesting pauses.
  15. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    I think these are good possibilities.. I think Mila Vigdorova introduced the idea in a workshop of slowing down the man's forward step then reversing it.

    Leaders need to learn listening skills first. I get clear braking signals from followers if I'm heading too close to another couple. It seems obvious to me that they can change direction of the step, but it needs to be done smoothly, and its not going to be everyones cup of tea.
    You need to be confident as a follower and secure in yourself as a leader.
  16. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    That is educational stuff in order to learn projection. By no means it got anything to do with floor craft. The only purpose simply is smooth walking.
  17. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    oh you were there then, in Totnes? :rolleyes:

    No that was NOT what Mila was teaching
  18. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    I think you have a point here. I suspect that most men (and probably most women, for that matter) likely have a preference for doing stuff that they are good at.

    There is another thing for leaders to consider. If we get good enough at our preferred style, maybe the women won't get bored, and thus won't feel the need to change what we are doing.
  19. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Show off.

    [​IMG]
  20. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Berlin, of course 8)

Share This Page