Give a nice compliment

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Lucretia, Jan 23, 2005.

  1. Lucretia

    Lucretia New Member

    I read the inspiring post about receiving a nice compliment http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=6527 and started to think about those times I have given a compliment and what consequences it had.

    Number 1
    There was a guy who danced a marvelous Batchata. It wasn’t the steps or patterns – it was his hands and arms. I was almost petrified – they looked magic. Sometimes like a wizard trying to seduce the lady with help of magic. Sometimes like artist shaping a statue. Sometimes like a man obsessed by women. But there wasn’t any grouping or anything like that.

    I didn’t dare top ask him for a dance. When I had decided to go home I walked up to him and told him how much I admired his Batchata. Then I walked straight home.

    I have a kind of “salsa-relation” to this guy. Ever since that we say hello and have small chats. He is always crowded by girls so I haven’t had a chance to dance with him yet. Last time I told him I wanted a danceticket (you know like they had in ancient times at the balls) to get a chance to dance with him. But this time I was on my way home as well :cry: He laughed at me and promised me a dance next time we se each other.

    Number 2
    I danced with a guy and made a fool out of myself last summer. I was too bad. Six months later I danced with him again. Then I told him how much I admire him as a dancer. (I had also improved in these six months - so he said to me)

    We are great friends now and he is a really inspiring dance mentor. I guess the compliment itself started up this relation.

    Number 3
    Happened last night. I was with friends at a small Salsa club in Gothenburg. A tall dark man dancing with a most subtle and magic style catched my eye. I talked to my friends to get brave enough and walked straight up to his side (when he stopped dancing) and told him that he had a most wonderful style. He laughed and told me he was on visit in town. (I had already guessed that perhaps that’s why I dared to chat with him)

    He asked for a dance. I tried to tell him I was not at his level and so he found out. I got one dance and was so ashamed of my lack of skills but so proud about my courage.

    My conclusion (so far) is that compliments creates “dance oriented relations” and have never ended up in anything bad. It has always given me new friends I dare invite for a dance.

    Do you have any story to tell us about how and when you give compliments.

    /luc
  2. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Giving compliments is good Luc. Now why do you hesitate to ask the people whom you admire to dance? :? They were like you at one point too, as almost all of us start from knowing anything to becoming what we come. They probably all got better by dancing with people who were more technically advanced than themselves...
  3. Lucretia

    Lucretia New Member

    I guess this is my way of doing it. If I give a compliment - the guy get so happy and pround that he ask me for a dance. :D And if he doesn't - I have lowered my "resistance" for asking him by a chat. If the guy last night hadn't asked me I would have asked. He had such unique style and I felt I just had to try dancing with him.

    (Off topic....
    The dancefloor is in an old boat. To walk into the room you have to step down a stair. When I saw this guy walking down the steps I knew he was a great dancer. I had only seen 75% of him - the legs and halt the torso - before I knew. There was something about his motion. Let's hope I can cope his unique technique next time I see him...shorten the steps, shorten the steps, shorten the steps.....)

    And there is also something magic about giving compliments. People open themself up - like a daisy in the sunshine - in the most facinating way. I guess I always has been supportive to collegues and friends. This is not hard for me. But I very often find it hard for other people to give compliments. People are not used to do that.

    ...mmm....I can recall a situation many years ago when a complete stranger gave me a compliment in a coffeé shop. He admired my hair and said he never had seen such a hair in his all life. He did this in the most openhearthed and honest way that I believed him. This was not about hitting on a young girl...it was straight from his heart. And he made my day!

    I like this way of bringing light into other peoples life. Even if I don't get anything back like a dance.

    What do you think about giving compliments. Do you find it hard?


    /Luc
  4. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Nope. :)
  5. tacad

    tacad New Member

    This sounds really cool!

    I never thought about it this way. You're right. From time to time I look for a compliment I can give. They do brighten up. One follow I know can follow anything. I could dance a whole dance doing slow steps, and then at the end do fast steps then slow steps, even off time, or I'll step off the beat. But she is always right there with me. I'll say, "You're so good!". And she is. :D
  6. BrookeErin

    BrookeErin New Member

    I think we should challenge eachother to try to compliment others. Even if it doesn't change anything for us (other than making us more appreciative), it will make someone else's day. What an easy way to spread joy 8)
  7. motardmom

    motardmom New Member

    When someone says to me, "You are a really good dancer", I almost always turn it around on them and tell them that they are a really good lead. I only say it if I mean it. If someone tells me I am a fast learner, I tell them they are a great teacher.

    And when I really enjoy a dance, I try to *look* like I really enjoyed it. I think those complements - when you can see that your partner had a really great dance - are the best!
  8. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    So long as the compliment is sincere! I meet so many people that give out such thoughtless, pointless, pre-fabricated cliche "ego pepper uppers" that it makes one want to toss their cookies, doughnuts and muffins... :x :?

    There are many ways to be kind and thoughtful to others, but I'm a big fan of "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all" rule. I'd rather someone tell me up front what they really think, instead of lying to save face or a myriad of other ridiculous reasons. There's nothing worse than having someone give you a false compliment, and you know that they are just saying what they think you want to hear. :snake:

    A compliment from the heart is a great thing...but just like anything else, too many is the same as none.
  9. Lucretia

    Lucretia New Member

    Yes Sagritta, I believed you would have no problem. I saw your nice and fun compliments in the other compliment thread. It was actually your compliments that inspired me for this post.

    And I agree with all of you who don't want compliments they don't deserv. Some people use this as a "regular" technique for getting something else (fill in the word that us top of your mind :wink: )

    I wonder how many times per day/week/month we think a nice compliment but never tells it. Sometimes bacause of wrong timing. Sometimes because we don't know how to formulate the sentence. Sometimes beacuse we feel envy and the compliment would risc to sound false.

    Today I start up in a new salsaclass. If I see a few persons there from last Saturday - I will surley tell them what I thought about them and their dance. There was never the right time to tell them then but therefore I don't need to "swollow" the compliment for all time.


    It is sometimes quite cool. But when the boat is overcrowded and there are to much waves it´s not so cool. If you have your high heels and the floor suddenly "gives in" a few centimeters in the middle of a spin....well .....cool isn't the word. The really cool thing is that people only go here for dancing. No drunk people and hardly no meatmarket.


    /luc
  10. Sardoth

    Sardoth New Member

    I can give but not take. I'm kind of critical of myself.
  11. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    Living in Japan has humbled me- it is very strange, it is a Japanese thing to shrug off how good you are, how excellent a job you have done, how good you are at doing something when praised. There is one thing I am not humble about, though, and it is my cooking, because I know I'm a fantastic cook!
    I compliment people when I am genuinely impressed, from someone wearing an absolutely striking outfit or a student coming up with a truly hilarious response!
  12. newbie

    newbie Active Member

    Teacher: You're improving fast!
    Me: I have a good teacher...
    Teacher: Oh, thank you very much, you're very kind.

    I did not told her I was thinking of another teacher of mine when saying that !
  13. newbie

    newbie Active Member

    I did not tell her...
  14. Lucretia

    Lucretia New Member

    Now I have danced with him. :D :D :D
    First time I saw this guy dance was 10 months ago :shock: ....finally I did it.

    Last night I was at a private party. I sat just beside him and we had a nice chat when having dinner. Then we had plenty of marvellous dances (i.e they where marvellous to me). No batchata ....but a most sensual merengue (we where at another planet those 3 minutes) and plenty of salsa. This guy is one of the best dancers I ever have meet.... And I believe he enjoyed dancing with me.


    /luc

    ps. Do anyone know a merengue played by a group called Projector uno? I have always loved this song and I love it even more after this merengue :D .
  15. Lucretia

    Lucretia New Member

    On topic again....
    I told him how much admired his dancing. Ability to lead, connection, partnerwork and timing. (I can never keep my mouth shut when I am impressed or like any one. I just cannot do it. Impossible).

    And he is so sensual without making anyone feel bad. A true dancer regarding everything but shines. And when dancing like him...you don't need any shines. You shine just the way you are :D

    /luc
  16. Lucretia

    Lucretia New Member

    I found that merengue - Tiburón is it called....w w w.content.loudeye.com/scripts/hurl.exe?~ll-600111/0092146_0104_00_0002.ra

    The group is called Proyecto Uno.

    /luc
  17. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    I never have the guts to compliment. But I think that my compliments are always there, in my eyes, in my "thank you"'s when the song ends, in my surprised giggle when someone throws me a funny move. I don't think I have to say anything because I just glow after a good dance. :D

    Twilight Elena
  18. randomMysh

    randomMysh New Member

    I compliment whenever I get the excuse. It's so much fun, like giving presents! :lol:
  19. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

    At a salsa club one night I danced with a guy I knew slightly. After two dances, as he escorted me off the floor, he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. Nothing sleazy, just a spontaneous hug and a peck on the cheek.

    As some of you know, I'm married to a non-dancer and go to Salsa clubs to dance, nothing more. But that night, I went home walking on air. :D

    Since then, I've always made a point of complimenting my dance partner. Even if it's just saying 'Thanks, that was great!' when the dance is over. Even if it wasn't great, I'll still say 'Thank you.'

    Rosa :)
  20. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Very true Rosa. Saying thanks to someone for spending a little time together never hurts even if it is for just that. :)

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