Handeling Kids vs Interacting with Adults

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by toothlesstiger, Dec 17, 2012.

  1. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    Or where the person who has the authority (the parent) is ceding that authority to the child.

    I'm not advocating for strict parenting. I'm advocating for sensible parenting. I believe that children need to know there are limits and boundaries, and on some level APPRECIATE knowing that grown-ups are in charge.

    I'm all about giving kids freedom and choices...but only within those boundaries. Misbehaving in public places is definitely not allowed.


    P.S. I would also love to enforce these rules on adults, e.g., people who talk loudly on cell phones for the entire train ride, oblivious to other passengers.
     
    debmc, skwiggy, dlliba10 and 2 others like this.
  2. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    This.

    I can honestly say that I have never had to punish DS for behaving badly in public or explicitly tell him not to behave badly. I set the expectation, very early on, that he would behave well and he did, even as a very small child. I don't have to be strict. *shrug*

    I lie. DS had a tantrum ... once. On the floor in the toy section of Kmart when I refused to buy him something he wanted. I didn't say a word. I turned on my heel and left the toy section, headed for the front door. It took him about thirty seconds to quiet down and follow me. Et voila. No more tantrums, ever. He was four at the time; I'm pretty sure he'd seen tantrums work for other kids and decided to give them a whirl. I guess he didn't know that tantrums don't work with me. lol. Really.

    ETA: Even then, though, I didn't have to punish him. I just didn't reinforce the behavior I didn't want repeated. He didn't repeat it. I guess the prospect of lying, cold and alone, on Kmart's floor didn't appeal. Hilarious in retrospect. Not too funny that day. Really funny now. :D

    I think that, a lot of times, parents reinforce bad behavior WHILE they're lamenting bad behavior. "Oh! He's a handful! *chuckle chuckle*" Meanwhile, the "handful" is acting out in public. The parent is chuckling and oftentimes asking you to tacitly agree to their brat's "cuteness," There's nothing cute about it, pal. Nothing cute at all.
     
    ajiboyet likes this.
  3. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    When I was a child, a tantrum in the toy section would have happened at most once. I would have been frog-marched out the door, and I would have had a hard time sitting the rest of the week.

    My kids would also get frog-marched out, and get an immediate time-out in the car, with the windows shut to muffle any continued objections.

    I try to make sure there is no doubt where the boundaries are, that enforcement is as close to the trespass as possible, and that there are no other 'benefits' to the punishment that I might have missed.
     
    ajiboyet likes this.
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    yea...my son tried that exactly once....and was very sorry....my dtr, the smart one, never tried it
     

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