Have you fired a student?

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by twnkltoz, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    no....but, if I had a studio with a fair number of children, I would have a rule list, just like at schools for kids and their parents to sign off on...and basic behavioral expectations like not running and not chewing gum, and respect for the floor and the teacher and fellow students ...along with language and volume control....etc...I have also seen studios post things like this for all ages plus dress codes on their sites
    danceronice likes this.
  2. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid in our multicultural society, that rule is ambiguous. ;) You've got to define rude before you can say "don't be rude".
    pygmalion, Gorme and Mengu like this.
  3. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    Yes, you have to spell everything out. I've seen many times at work where someone will use the line of "But in my culture, it's acceptable...". And that was during the HR seminar on harrassment.
  4. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    I think it's better that the teacher is upfront about things that are disturbing them. If they sidetrack the issue, the person will never know and repeat the same transgression on the next teacher.
  5. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    That's my general attitude as well, but I've also found there are some people who see nothing wrong with their behavior, and no amount of illumination from others will change them.
  6. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    They may not change, but at least they heard that you say it.
  7. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    I don't think the purpose is to change them. It's to give them an honest reason.
    stash likes this.
  8. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    It also opens you up to abuse when they react negatively to your honesty. If you just don't give them a reason, you avoid the backlash.
  9. JANATHOME

    JANATHOME Well-Known Member

    Man, I am hoping I don't get fired by new rhythm pro....
    It is like I have zero coordination and I know he must find me very frustrating...

    Which brings me to a question... I wonder if there comes a time when a pro feels that he/she has offered everything he/she has for student and then fires student... Not because the student is a pain or nasty, not because the student is not working hard but simply it just is not happening....

    I also wonder, as far as results of either am/am or pro/am....
    Is it very important to the pro that the partnership is scoring fairly well...
    If not, would this put the pros reputation on line, prevent future students seeking pro out, resulting in the student(s) being fired??

    Just thinking out loud here...
  10. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    I've seen two outcomes of this situation.

    One - Just go through the motion. The student is taking a bunch of lessons, but never improving, so the teacher has given up and is collecting a paycheck. I personally don't believe in this scenario, but I'm seeing it happening right now to a student.

    Two - Recommend that the student try a different instructor that may be more of a fit to their learning style.

    This probably depends on how many students that the pro has. I've seen the not-so-good students relegated to single-dances only. Keep the better students on scholarship and multi-dance. Some pros doesn't have any students who are good and they never do the scholarship events.

    As for am/am, I never see them get fired. One kid couple was "fired" because the mom wanted the pro to supervise their practices (instead of practicing on their own) and he wouldn't agree to it.
  11. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    I'm not in the ballroom community, but I have taught dance for over 45 years. I do it because I love to dance and I want to transmit that pleasure to anyone else who is interested.

    I am very patient with students who are putting out the same effort toward learning that I am putting out toward teaching them. (That's a lot). If I identify a specific skill that a student needs to learn and I tell them clearly how to learn it, I think they should learn it. I tell my students, if they do what I ask of them (practice) and they don't learn the skill, then it's my fault and we need to discuss it, so I can teach them better. If they don't do what I ask of them, then I think it is their fault and I don't know what else to do, how else to teach them, to help them make progress. At that point I tell them to come back when they have developed the specific skill that I think they need.
    Bailamosdance and pygmalion like this.
  12. Smooth Dancer

    Smooth Dancer Active Member

    My pro -- talk about a pillar of patience -- to put up with me! Truly a gift. From what I've seen and heard, if you are really trying, good pros will go the distance.
  13. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    And there's another side to this one too, when the student has learned everything the instructor has to offer...it can get very tricky.

    I've seen instances where the instructor would like to hang on to the student because; 1) they are a good source of income, and 2) they make them look good as instructors. But, the problem is the teacher can start to become "challenged" by the student's quest to continue learning. I have seen instances where the instructor started taking their frustration or insecurity out on the student - and ultimately either the student left or was - um - "fired".
    fascination and debmc like this.
  14. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    I've had this happen to me with a former instructor. I didn't even realize what was happening until a visiting coach came and told my instructor, sotto voce but loud enough for me to hear, "A student should never be allowed to get ahead of the teacher." That was an eye opener to say the least.
  15. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    I see it differently. Students should be encouraged to go beyond their teacher.
  16. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Gotcha. :cool:

    Those were the visiting coach's words, not mine. My interpretation, at the time, was that coach was telling my teacher that I was pushing the limits of what he was able to teach me. I'm pretty sure that I wasn't intended me to hear that comment. I just overheard.

    As it so happened, with this particular teacher, I was a great source of income. My teacher didn't want to lose the income so, just as latingal described, he started doing things that showed he felt challenged by me. Eventually, I fired myself.
  17. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I have had this happen...and I don't blame anyone for it...it was a complex scenario with lots of chickens and eggs in it...my first pro admitted that he had taught me everything he knew, he had a coach take him to taskand ended upcoaching both of us...I had several people tell me that I looked better(whose perspective I did not appreciate at the time) and had other pros ask me if I was the pro...out of emotional attachment (mine) and financial necessity(his) we stayed together for far too long and it destroyed just about anything good that came before it...it was very stressful for both of us for a variety of reasons...which is why I was determined to pick someone whose skill I could never eclipse the second time around...obviously, I try my best to close the gap, but I am not delusional...and if I did become delusional, I am sure he would disabuse me of it immediately
  18. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    I assumed he meant...either the teacher needed to up his game and stay ahead of her or send her on to someone who could take her further. But then, I tend to assume the best of people. Did he mean to hold her back?
  19. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    No. As I understood it then and now, he was telling my teacher to step up to the plate and work harder on his own dancing and teaching skills.

    Teacher didn't take the advice, btw, so I eventually found a teacher who was at a higher level.
  20. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    Excellent.

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