Holding wrists in social dances

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by mindputtee, Dec 29, 2012.

  1. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    I don't like being held by the wrist in social situations. In some competitive movement I don't mind it for specialized movement like counterbalanced leans etc., but I do not like it in "normal" movement. I have had my partners grab my wrist for New Yorkers in cha-cha....not a fan.
     
  2. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    If Larinda did that to me, I'd be fine with it. I'd know under HER control, I wouldn't be injured. In a typical social context though, there are very few leaders I trust to have that much power over my arms.

    That's not even speaking to the power dynamic on a psychological level.
     
    GGinrhinestones likes this.
  3. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    My very first teacher used to use it frequently. No doubt he did it for the additional control, although he used it with dancers if all levels. Done well (no death grip), it doesn't phase me; whether that's because I got used to it with him, or because it just never occurred to me to feel like I was being forced, I don't know. (Then again, very shortly after starting with ballroom I took up with AT. Talk about a hold with direct control over your body! Close embrace makes a bracelet hold seem like nothing.)
     
  4. debmc

    debmc Well-Known Member

    Given the differences between male and female upper body strength, I think a female pro doing it to her male student will not be percieved as intimidating as when a male does it to a female... it felt threatening to me, my wrists were literally bound by the other person encircling his hand around my wrists and refusing to let go.....but that was a long time ago, and I have not had anyone do that in a long time.
     
  5. ajiboyet

    ajiboyet Well-Known Member

    This.
     
  6. vit

    vit Active Member

    So what is the explanation that in salsa or zouk girls generally don't have problems with this (social dance I mean) ?

    Of course, it's not holding wrist for 5 min continuously, it's grabbing the arm somewhere between wrist and elbow or even elbow and shoulder, leading the figure and releasing it after a second or two - like when leading some figures in latin (common one would be, for instance in cha cha, leading a new york with normal hold, leading the lady to a spin and checking her spin by catching her arm). I actually rarely grab wrist itself, because there are no muscles there - it's much more comfortable for the lady to grab the part where there are some muscles, for instance halfway between the wrist and elbow ...
     
  7. debmc

    debmc Well-Known Member

    I think you answered the question... it is not holding the wrist in the above example, it is leading a move grabbing the arm and then releasing it after a second... vs. locking the wrist down for an entire dance.
     
  8. MissSongbird

    MissSongbird Member

    I've had leaders grab my wrist if they need to lead me in a certain move (such as ones which may be more difficult), but never for a large amount of the dance. I would ask them just to find out why they prefer to do that (like others have said).
     
  9. cl100

    cl100 Member

    I dance standard with a shorter gentleman where he would hold my wrist instead of my hand. It was a lot more comfortable than me all squished in there (even if I'm not in full frame). He's not holding my wrist tight since he's not pushing & pulling through that hand. it's like a holder & of course I'm not holding on for my dear life & I'm not really putting weight on it. just enough pressure.
     
  10. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    I was just posting videos on another thread and made a connection to this thread.
    In this video of David Hamilton dancing pro-am showdance with a student... in a routine barely a minute and half long (and comprised mainly of standard work) every singe open piece has a wrist connection...

    2:43
    3:29
    4:20 - 4:25 3 different times
    4:29


    David Hamilton Pro-Am
     
  11. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    In latin, rhythm, salsa, etc, I can understand a wrist hold, and have been taught a wrist hold for latin. There, all the physical connection is through the arms, and the extra control, particularly with a beginning follower, can be helpful. I can't speak to smooth, but for standard, considering where the lead should be coming from, except in very specific teaching situations I can't understand the use of a wrist hold.
     
  12. NonieS

    NonieS Well-Known Member

    Heh, that video reminded me of something.

    My friend and I were dancing together a few weeks ago for fun. We both do smooth and we have different main instructors. We went into shadow position and I went to grab his hand as I've been taught. He was all uncomfortable because it felt weird and wrong. We went into shadow position again and he grabbed my wrist as he's been taught and then it was my turn to feel uncomfortable.

    BTW by uncomfortable I mean like "ooooh that's naughty" not like "omg I am suffering emotional trauma that will scar me for life." Thought I should clarify. My friends and I generally don't like ensuring each other's future need for therapy ;).
     
  13. vit

    vit Active Member

    In above video, wrist connection is mostly when whether sending a lady to a spin or checking her turn or in shadow position (except at 4:29) and it doesn't last longer than several seconds - like in similar situations in latin or even salsa ... perfectly ok
     
    debmc likes this.
  14. mindputtee

    mindputtee Well-Known Member

    I completely understand when doing open work, and it doesn't bother me then. It's in frame (which you'll notice only once very briefly is he holding her wrist in frame) and not just a quick grab and then reposition, but encircling the wrist and then holding it there that I find bothersome.
     
  15. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    Do you mean, actually in standard hold... like his left hand, at eye height, is holding your wrist?
     
  16. mindputtee

    mindputtee Well-Known Member

    Yes, and maintaining hold.

    ETA: 1,000th post!
     
    smidra86 likes this.
  17. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    :) :) :) congratulations

    where's the dancing banana when we need him!!
     

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