How should I react if my girlfriend grinds with other men?

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by sunny_2907, Apr 27, 2006.

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How should I react if my distant girlfriend grinds with other men?

Poll closed May 1, 2006.
Should I confront her by telling her to keep off other men? 4 vote(s) 57.1%
Should I ignore it and let her be? 3 vote(s) 42.9%
She doesnt love me. 0 vote(s) 0.0%
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  1. pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I'm having trouble seeing a clear right and wrong party, here. I see cultural differences and perhaps a values mismatch. One thing I'd recommend, not that it's any of my business, is that sunny_2907 and his SO have a serious, honest discussion about their expectations of their relationship.

    Other than that, from what I've read, I can't say much.
    pygmalion, Apr 29, 2006
    #21

  2. AzureDreamer New Member

    wow, great, that's really good to know. If I have any questions, I know who to ask now.
    AzureDreamer, Apr 29, 2006
    #22

  3. africana New Member

    lol I'm just stating my opinion on the question asked, yours was not relevant to me in any way. pretty firm in that no number of essays on it would convince me
    africana, Apr 29, 2006
    #23

  4. fascination Site Moderator

    no..you have misinterpreted my statement...and perhaps it was vague...bottom line(IMO)...was that the OP was having alot of judgement placed upon him with scarcely enough particulars of the situation visible enough for the sort of sweepingly negative judgments that were beginning to swirl, beyond what what could fairly be extrapolated from his posts...and he got back on on the other thread and gave a bit more context and I felt, as a moderator, that it was appropriate to suggest that we simply not begin to read too much into the situation...I still maintain my stance on his original post on the other thread...and incidentally agree with most of yours on both of these;)
    fascination, Apr 29, 2006
    #24

  5. fascination Site Moderator

    yikes
    fascination, Apr 29, 2006
    #25

  6. fascination Site Moderator

    double yikes
    fascination, Apr 29, 2006
    #26

  7. fascination Site Moderator

    yep...gotta say that seems like a bit of a leap
    fascination, Apr 29, 2006
    #27

  8. fascination Site Moderator

    wasnt singling you out...just wanting to urge a bit of caution...not a problem
    fascination, Apr 29, 2006
    #28

  9. SPratt74 New Member

    I'm sorry but it's like I've said before, I've been through all of this stuff already with my x that I had been with that was from England. Not only that but most of my friends still live in England and I still know the scoop more so than what people think. I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone else or anything else that way. I'm just saying that I know more about England and I do know how they feel and think because of what I had been through in my life, and I don't see anything wrong with that. And I'm not talking about individual thoughts. I'm talking about in general I know what to expect and how they act over there. Again, I don't see anything wrong with saying this.
    SPratt74, Apr 29, 2006
    #29

  10. fascination Site Moderator

    me neither...nothing wrong w/ it at all...it was just that your previous post sounded so absoulute that I could see why some folks felt it was a rather sweeping claim...that is all;) ...no harm in being a fairly good authority on something...its just that over the internet anyone of us can choose a way of saying something that inadvertantly sounds like its a bit more than anyone can claim...your input IS of value
    fascination, Apr 29, 2006
    #30

  11. africana New Member

    take a deep breath S...it's not that serious
    africana, Apr 29, 2006
    #31

  12. fascination Site Moderator

    and twice in a week we agree:rolleyes:
    fascination, Apr 29, 2006
    #32

  13. SPratt74 New Member

    Oh yeah I see what you are saying. I guess that does happen. I just would wish that if someone wanted me to clarify what I meant then I would have been happy to clarify instead of getting all defensive or whatever. But yeah no biggie. Time to move on. ;)
    SPratt74, Apr 29, 2006
    #33

  14. fascination Site Moderator

    this whole fallible human being thing can really be a bummer...lol
    fascination, Apr 30, 2006
    #34

  15. nikita New Member

    The question is, what is best for Sunny. Apparently he is suffering a lot by the behaviour of his girl-friend. And she's doing it, although she knows, that it is a big no go for him and that it hurts him. At this point there is something very wrong between them. And it also shows how she's gonna behave in the future:( .
    I think they should consider a break in their relationship. At least, as long she is in London.
    nikita, Apr 30, 2006
    #35

  16. fascination Site Moderator

    that doesnt seem to be where he is on it...at least in the other thread...but I certainly wish them both a resolution that we be good for both of them...I can't say from here what I think is best...I just hope for him that they work something bearable out
    fascination, Apr 30, 2006
    #36

  17. nikita New Member

    It looks like a cultural thing. She would never, ever do, what she's doing, if she would be in India. There is no way for him to accept those things.
    If she insists- it's better for them to split. Because what she's doing hurts him too much.
    If somebody is in a serious relationship, then this person is in it, whereever she goes. Not only, when the other person is right beside us. He doesn't sees it, because he's fare away- So I can do, what he hates and after I even tell him about it? What kind of relationship is this? Sounds more like a friendship. At least from her side.
    nikita, Apr 30, 2006
    #37

  18. fascination Site Moderator

    you may be right...I just know that I"M not close enough to the situation to make that determination...just me..
    fascination, Apr 30, 2006
    #38

  19. nikita New Member

    Imagine, you have a partner who is unconsciously doing something, what hurts you a lot.
    So you tell him: "Baby- please don't do this. It hurts me."
    Answer: " That's your problem..."
    Would you stay? Some people do. But that's quite unhealthy.
    nikita, Apr 30, 2006
    #39

  20. fascination Site Moderator

    not disputing you...just saying I dont have the full picture...I have one brief snippet of one of the individual's characterizations of one interaction....that is all...
    fascination, Apr 30, 2006
    #40
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