How we relate to each other

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by AndaBien, Jun 15, 2012.

  1. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    "Tango is simply a representation of how we relate to each other. It's about the connection we cultivate with those around us, with our partner, with ourselves. It's about the way we interlace and intertwine with one another." - from the book by Gabriela Condrea.

    I don't know her or the book.

    I've often thought about how dance as body language is a perfect expression of who we are as individuals, and especially with tango, because it is so individualistic. So I am intrigued by the thought that how we relate to our dance partners is a good mirror of how we relate to other people.

    Comments?
  2. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    i just dance. end of story.
  3. fayeh

    fayeh Member

    Dance is a pure form of body language. However, Tango is not the only dance that can show who we are. All the dances that exist can show who we are. How you express each dance is part of the technique that dancers should pay attention to. It is true that how to relate to our dance partners is an indication to how we relate to other people. Why should we act differently between your partner and others?
  4. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    I dont follow you. There are guys around in my dance scene that really are ugly stinkers in their real life but look remarkably well on the dance floor and got a divine embrace.
  5. fayeh

    fayeh Member

    You can look remarkably well on the dance floor but how does he treat his partner on the dance floor? Does he present her? Does his face show respect for her or does he ignore her most of the time? Does he yell at her as soon as he steps off the dance floor in between rounds?
  6. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    I mean it´s possible to treat her well, present her with respect, to show a dedicative face, to hug her gently, as well as to look well on the dance floor, and nevertheless to be an *******.
  7. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    I agree all that stuff is manners, not expression.
  8. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    I don't think it's about how one looks on the dance floor, that's too superficial. I think it's more about something subtler, how one behaves with ones partner.

    There are guys who want their partners to do only, and nothing more, than what has been led. They may tend to be guys who want things done exactly their way. Other guys may enjoy it when their partner contributes adornments and influence to the dance. Those guys might have a more easy going attitude toward life.

    Some guys are clear and certain in their lead. Other guys are vague and tentative, almost questioning, in their leads. Those types of leads would be reflections of their personality.
  9. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    To me, it would seem to be more a reflection of their skills, than their personality.

    [​IMG]
  10. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    That could certainly be a possibility. However, there are beginner guys who have abrupt and strong leads, and there are experienced dancers who have leads that merely hint at movements.
  11. Nathan

    Nathan Member

    A jerk can put on a convincing front for a short period of time, but sooner or later will reveal his inner self, in tango just as in any other area of life.

    It's not just about how one treats one's partner... it's how one treats one's fellow dancers. If someone (who is not an overwhelmed beginner) is always crashing into others, for instance, this shows that deep down, they are selfish and don't respect other people enough to let them have their own space.

    As for skill, even amongst the best dancers there is a lot of variation in their technique, how they lead/follow, and their musical expression. In general, people will gravitate toward a style that allows them to express their personality. If you know what to look for and take context into account, you can learn a tremendous amount about a person by watching them dance.
  12. She's a friend of mine and dancing with her is amazing and delightful and her book is fantastic. The last time she danced with me, it was so lovely that it sent chills up my spine. To understand where she is coming from, you really have to understand her dancing philosophy. For Gabriela, the dance isn't so much about the embrace, or the moves, or the form or sequences, or any of that; instead it is about the two way communication between the partners. Everything is improvised down to minute movements and every movement can be a contribution from both lead and follow. Her style of dancing IS based on the relationship between the dancers because when communication is distilled to the top of the dance, the relationship between the dancers is what comes out.

    She does not like to be led every step of the dance, but instead, she likes a degree of independence to do her own rhythms and adornments. She likes lots of opportunities to do her own thing and if you don't give her those opportunities, she will ask for them through her motion. If you ignore her and dominate her, the way most leads in tango dance, she will not be pleased because you are essentially shutting her out of her contribution to the dance. I find that most follows will do nothing when you give them opportunities, but Gabriela will always take me by surprise by her delightful resolutions to these opportunities, which is re freshing after dancing with so many completely submissive follows. You have to be listening to her to really "get" her way of dancing, but when you do listen, it's very beautiful what you hear.
  13. newbie

    newbie Active Member

    There are other people ?
  14. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    One relates to people (plural) differently to persons (singular)
  15. jantango

    jantango Active Member

    This thread led me to investigate her website. She's a 30-year-old woman from Moldava who immigrated to Seattle, Washington and discovered tango at La Viruta in Buenos Aires three years ago, quit her regular job, studied with the Dinzels, wrote her book, and is asking for sponsors for her USA book tour.

    How many know someone who went to BsAs, quit a regular job, wrote a book, and lives off tango?
  16. Lilly_of_the_valley

    Lilly_of_the_valley Active Member

    I took a look at her website too. When she is in the area, I can help by donating a discount on a lesson. I just feel no one who calls herself a tango instructor should dance on constantly bent knees...
  17. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    I just don't agree that you can conclude something about someone's personality from the way they dance. vague and tentative demonstrates nothing but poor technique, or a beginner.

    A long term friend of mine was shocked when she came to a practica with me. She said she couldnt believe how confident and clear I was on the dance floor.But in life I can procrastinate like hell.
  18. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    I noticed the bent knees thing as well. I was wondering if it was because she was taller than her partners, or just a style preference.
  19. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    and she dances to Adios Nonino too. some people have no respect....
  20. Lilly_of_the_valley

    Lilly_of_the_valley Active Member

    That feature is very common among beginners, recent transplants from other dance forms, and/or those in lack of proper instructions.

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