Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by fenixfrenzy87, Feb 26, 2004.
...I second SK's advice :!:
... his loss...
Wow, this thread is moving fast!
Seems like you have already gotten plenty of advice on 'basic grinding' so I'll assume you can manage that and try and give you a few (merengue) moves which you can throw in every now and then (don't overdo them) for a little added flavour.
What i'm going to tell you aren't blueprints to be followed exactly, just go with the flow and if something fails don't sweat it, just smile and return to 'basic grinding'.
Sweetheart: from a closed position take the girl's hands in yours (her right hand in your left, and vice versa), gently push her a bit away, then close two distance between the two of you again whilst putting your arms straight up into the air, then as you are up against each other again with your arms up in the air slowly lower your arms again to your side (depending on how crowded the floor is you can either really put your arms to the side or you'll have to keep them close to avoid bopping others on the head). And the key element in this move is EYE CONTACT, got that?? EYE CONTACT!! while you are doing this keep EYE CONTACT. Did I already mention that EYE CONTACT is what will make or break this move.
cuddle: similar begin to the previous one, take her hands and create some distance, then take your left hand (and her right hand) move it to the right in front of you and inbetween the two of you, then move your hand up and your arm over the girl's head (at this time the girl should be doing a half turn to the left), then your arm goes down and the girl should be in front of you, back towards you and your arms around her waist still holding her hands (don't have a death grip! in order for this to work you'll have to let your hands slide through each other; don't hold hands firmly, just try and keep them together). Hold position for a short while then reverse to turn out of the position again: left arm goes up, arm comes back to you while the girl is doing a half turn in the opposite direction to be facing you again.
You can vary this move by doing it the other way (left becomes right), or by putting yourself in the cuddle: instead of turning the girl you yourself make a half turn and put the arms over your own head.
A personal favourite of mine to return to a closed position from an open position is this one: you're holding both hands of the girl (her right in your left etc...), hold up your hands and lead in girl in a full turn (either direction will work), again your hands will have to slide through each other, then after the girl has turned your arms should be crossed (at about the wrist), then lift your arms and put them over your head, let go of the girl's hands and let them drop on your shoulders, your free hands can now take her into a closed position again (around her waist, on her hips, whatever fancies you) while her arms are around you neck.
Hopefully these descriptions will help and if at all possible practice them with someone a few times before your dance, just half an hour going through them should do the trick.
As far as the last few posts are concerned, since all the info on the people and circumstances come from a few words on a bulletin board i'm not going to advice you on whether or not to go ahead and try, but I will tell you this much,
IF you're going to try and do a little more then just dancing, take it slow, baby steps, build it up (if you want some more advice on this pm me) and if at any point the girl seems uncomfortable, or pulls back, or in any way indicates she doesn't want it STOP! (if you don't stop then I will find you and kick your ass!)
LOL!! NeoDevin, your post was hilarious! :lol: :lol:
Looks like Tasek is someone you don't want to upset :shock:
Although as NeoDevin said about not "going there" straight away, unless you feel like getting slapped, even if she does not slap you there and then, you don't want to earn a reputation of being an "octupus" - your hands get EVERYWHERE. Whilst the slap or a drink poured all over you is instant humiliation, a "dodgy" reputation is a lot harder to turn around and out of your control. Unless someone tells you that is what the girls are saying, you can't do anything about it, whether it is true or false.
Put a piece of music. Listen to the beat step to the beat shift weight from one foot to another
Listen to some music that flows and move with it in a flowing way- start with your arms then make the movements bigger to include your body hips elbows get it all moving - just explore what it can do and how it wants to move to the music ( stop thinking and feel how the music takes you)
Imagine you are a animal, or a tree or grass in the wind, or maybe a river or sea with waves. Move like the animal.
Then cobine all three and see what happens;
beat, flow and animal
:lol: PS if you're pretending to be snake/ tiger/elphant or whatever your guide animal is;no-one else knows-like your wearing a mask nobody sees. :wink:
:twisted: Better believe it; i'm a badass :twisted: :wink:
8) Not really though, i'm generally a very relaxed guy, unwanted advances just happen to be a pet peeve of mine,
WANTED advances on the other hand :ladiesma: bring it on
This is kind of embarassing saying this after you´ve posted 11 times, nevertheless,
Tasek, wellcome to the DF!
I´m always late...
From your profile, I am guessing that you are in Lisbon? That wouldn't have anything to do with it would it :wink:
(I have met more spanish and italian people than portuguese but I suspect that the cultures are very similiar - friendly, very social and quite laidback (aka unhurried)
No matter the timing, it's always nice to hear you're welcome, thanks Mapleleaf.
Pacion, you have a great sense of humour. :wink:
Well yes, you´ve managed to describe latin Europeans perfectly in just two or three words.
Great to have someone here in the same time zone (GMT).
Let's not put the cart before the horse here. ( Um. American colloqialism that means let's not jump to conclusions) These are a couple high school guys going out to a dance with girls they want to impress by dancing the popular dances well. Sexual advances may or may not figure into it at all. If I remember my high school days clearly, groping at school dances was a non-issue, because there were chaperones who made sure it didn't happen. (I went to a very strict all girls' school many moons ago. LOL)
To me, the dancing part is covered well enough for fenix and suckeedancerr to go out there and make us proud. :banana: The only unresolved question is the etiquette of intimate dances with someone you don't know well. might like to know better, and have to deal with for the forseeable future either way. Not?
:lol: I think I have heard that expression "once before" :wink:
Pygmalion, we are just umm, moulding them, shaping them for the future :wink: nipping it in the bud, so to speak. Basically, trying to cut down Tasek's work so that he does not have to clockup those frequent flyer points unnecessarily
Agreed re the etiquette of intimate dances and just being in the dance scene. For instance, when a guy asks me to dance, I love it when he holds my hand and guides us to the dance space and then escorts me off the dancefloor when it is over I also love it when he says "thank you" at the end. I always say "thank you" whether I asked him or he asked me - and if it was a particularly good one, that is, fun, he might get a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well No, I am not flirting, just expressing what a great time I had :wink:
Also, I want to know what they will be wearing, if they will be wearing cologne/aftershave and if so, "how much" :wink:
Hmm... I know this expression also. Must be a universal thing.
I´ve also gotten hugs or kisses on the cheek after a dance. I love it when that happens. :wink:
Sorry, folks. It's hard to tell how much Americanism has spread overseas, so I try not to assuma anything. (btw, I also do metric and Fahrenheit to Celsius conversions, where appropriate. LOL)
And yes, I think it's great to teach these guys some points of etiquette. For example, just because the girl is your date, doesn't mean she wants to or has to dance with you. It's polite to ask. Even if she was going to dance with you anyway, you get extra credit for being courteous. And Pacion makes a good point about the cologne. Keep it subtle. The last thing I want is to breathe in a throat full of some guy's strong cologne. Just enough so you smell good (spicy is my preference. :wink: )
:lol: That's okay. We were only teasing you :wink: Interestingly enough, the americans I know, they convert Celsius to Fahrenheit and although I am a "metric" babe, if someone asks me my height/weight, it is still in ft & ins/lbs
Interesting point you make about the girl's "obligations" with regards to the guy. As said on another thread, my Dad is "old school" and he always said that if you go to a club/dance with a guy, you dance with him a lot of the time (unless he turns out to be a sleazyball). Similiarly, if you arrive with a guy, you leave with the guy - don't see someone else you "fancy" and leave your date to his devices.
He also told us a story from his bachelor days when he somehow ended up escorting three girls to a party (I think two guys didn't show to pick them up but turned up at the party later). He expected that they would have left him to his own devices but to his pleasant amazement, they spent most of the evening in his company even though he said that "it was alright" for them to go and dance with the other guys - afterall, he was only escorting them right? They apparently told him "No, we came with you, we dance with you." According to my Dad, he said that he was the talk of the party and felt like a King for the night. :lol:
In today's world though, don't take it for granted and yes, you do get extra credit for being courteous :wink:
Grinding 101... Assuming you are in face to face position.
If you don't know how to dance... Then.... put your right foot between the girls feet, Bend your knees enough to be eye to eye with the girl, do as SD mentions and shift weight from leg to leg with each loud bang you hear, and get a good base, slightly wider than shoulder width. The shifting of weight is done with slow bend and straightening of the knees, the hip thing might be a bit too much at this time, unless you are a natural and can shake it like a mad man. In that case then bend your knees and sway those hips in a circular motion, not just left or right but in circles, letting the legs bend themselves as you move the hips, or let the hips move around as you bend the keens.
DO NOT BRING YOUR HANDS STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR. It is so 1980s and as the hip-hop crowd likes to say, only white people that can't dance do it. (No offense intended) But if you plan to, slightly bring them up to about ear level or just a tiny bit above the head. Bringing the hands forward will cause the elbows to raise a bit, that is exactly where you want them until you decide to get sexier and bring the hands down to about chest level. If your hands are still up near ear level then, elbows should be pointing forward close to her body or arms as she might have them up as well. Close your hands as if you were holding a cup of coffee, leaving your elbows pointing somewhat towards the front (at their natural position when raising the hands a bit), bring your fists towards your closer to face. If you see everyone is raising their hands up in the air, then you do it with style and only lift your arms from their current position a couple inches, enough to see the movement but not all the way up. Don't make brisk movements unless she is doing so. If you are so worried about what speed to move at that you don't hear the BANG BANG, then move at her speed.
Vary the position of the arms, if she still hasn't given you the grinding go, interchange hand positions from slightly up in the air at a 90 degree elbow bend, to down behind your back, interchanging the arms. Move the hands SLOWWWWWLY... If she is getting closer don not jump on her, bring your hands behind your body and move your hips slower than she does, don't look down like you can't get enough. Look at her coming at you and enjoy what she is doing. If you still can't find what to do with your hands, then bring one arm towards her hip and the other behind your back, don’t pull her towards you, wait for her move. Or if she allows you bring your strong arm around her waist... Etc..
Now if her back is facing you, it is a completely different game.
There you do what she says, unless she likes you of course, then you are pretty much free to lead her. If she is bending forward a lot do what you wish, either follow her or simply stay your ground and move you hips at her speed. If she has your back against your chest, grab her right arm and bring it to your thigh, grasp it there with your hand, hold her other hand up to the back of her head and hold it there as well. Don't just hold it there, but embrace her entire arm with your entire arm as well. Give her a sense of togetherness, not one of I'm arresting you. Move your upper body and hips slowly (like a snake) start on top slowly and work your way down to your hips, but to her rhythm. Some people hear what isn’t even there, so you might as well not fight her and go with her. Don’t fight her, if she wants to move away from your grip let her go, and don’t follow her like a lost puppy. Stay your ground and she’ll come back to you.
Show some intensity, show her that you want to be there with her and only her. Even if you dance with a 1000 girls show them all that you are there for them during that dance. Be into every move she makes, break a smile but don’t show your teeth when she does something that you like. Try to be suave, hinting a smile can take you a long way…
You’ll have no problem, the ladies today pretty much tell you what to do when grinding and what not to do. As long as you stay with in that, stay cool and show them you aren't a desperate case of male, then you’ll be ok.
If you have a down with hiphop crowd then you won't get the folks who just jump around aimlessly and you will have the in spot dancers full of rhythm. Those are the ones you want to stay close to, a girl that goes on her own with out you knowing how to dance can only make you feel worse about your skills.
Do NOT, I MEAN DO NOT attempt to grind before she gives you the go. I don't have to say what the go ahead is, you'll know, you'll really know. Flow with what she is doing and you have a great time.
Sorry for being too long and complicated, but hope not very.
That was about the most complex explanation I've ever read. Honestly, try this...go to the dance...stand to the side and watch for just a few minutes. The "booty dance" thing is SO easy...you should know what to do by just watching. You'll essentially just stand in one place...and to be perfectly honest...simply moving to the rhythm (assuming you have rhythm)...will easily equate to what teens consider dancing at school dances.
Also, when it comes to slow dances. Again, very easy. Esentially hug your partner (arms around each other's shoulders) and rock slowly side to side rotating in a small circle if you like (again to the rhythm).
Looking back on my high school days...it just kills me to think about what people thought WAS dancing. :lol:
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