Men dancing with men

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by Chiron, Dec 10, 2008.

  1. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    Well, you cannot police what others think, and you can not run your life based on what others think. Sorry to be so spiritual on you LOL but what people think comes from THEIR lifestyles and hang ups. They shouldn't determine what you do or think!

    Are you in a flyover state? Then yes you may not see folks dancing together... you should for sure be the first - and defend it, to your not so evolved friends...
  2. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    I think it's less socially acceptable in dance venues because there are usually fewer men than women and unless you also have a corresponding population of women who can lead, it's just cutting two female follows out. There's usually no social NEED for two men to dance together because of absence of partners at a party or a club situation. I wouldn't suggest doing it unless the other male was terrified to dance with anyone else or if you were actually involved, because otherwise it just ends up leaving follows sitting.

    As for practicing, no one would raise an eyebrow if it were two women (as male practice partners are hard to come by) or if it were a man taking a lesson from a male teacher.
  3. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    if we want to explore this further we can start a new thread on it...however, I will say that that perspective is a luxury that people in "fly-over" states don't have...because the vast heartland is not at all in agreement about what "today's world" should look like....
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    so ...let's keep this thread about flooring ...and take the worthy topic of two dudes dancing elsewhere
  5. freeageless

    freeageless Active Member

    Fascination, I completely agree. Those who want to talk about two men dancing together need to start their own thread-not hijack the OP's thread.
  6. QMSF

    QMSF Member

    No one ever asks me, which is a shame as I'm a darn good follower...
  7. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    What is a "fly-over" state? I live in the Inland Northwest, if that helps.

    Note that this would only be for practice, until he gets confident enough to dance with ladies. He doesn't have the same luxury as me of taking a University dance class and practicing with girls as you learn...so I thought I'd be his dance partner while he's learning and at the same time I'd get the benefit that come from a guy experiencing the follower's perspective. I've been to group lessons before where there weren't enough ladies so the male instructor filled in, so it's nothing new...I just don't know what people would think about 2 young men dancing together if I was to try to teach him someplace out in public. I mean neither of us looks old enough to be an actual dance instructor, so I'm guessing they'd just think we're two gay guys dancing together and I don't want them getting that impression...or heaven forbid we are seen by someone we know.
  8. Casayoto

    Casayoto Member

    To answer your question from before, if I saw two guys dancing with each other exclusively at a social, yes, I would probably assume they were gay. Now the question of how you feel about that, and whether that's an appearance you're comfortable with is up to you. If you're uncomfortable with people making an incorrect assumption about you, that doesn't necessarily make you a homophobe.
  9. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    Taking that to the next level, I guess we need to assume that everyone who dances together exclusively must be a couple, or sexually involved.

    NOT!!
  10. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    Yes, not the case...unfortunately. I danced with a female friend (who I have the hots for btw) at a club all night this last weekend, but later found out she already has a boyfriend. One who doesn't dance I might add. She needs to ditch him and find someone more fun and considerate of her love for dancing, like me :p You know that is something I just don't get. She is not the first girl I have known who loves to dance but has a lame bf who absolutely refuses to. Now granted it's a bit hypocritical of me to say this since for the longest time I wanted nothing to do with dancing myself, but if you ask me, if you love someone you'd be willing to do anything for them...
  11. ajiboyet

    ajiboyet Well-Known Member

    I thought this thread was about men dancing together. Interesting thread, BTW...
  12. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    this thread is...that post was moved from another thread
  13. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    Sorry, I get off on tangents...it related to what the person before me was saying.
  14. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    please try to stay on the topic on hand or start a new thread...it is a nightmare for the staff when the content of a thread has nothing to do with the thread...thanks
  15. ajiboyet

    ajiboyet Well-Known Member

    I've never followed a guy. I'd like to try it out sometime...
  16. Benjy

    Benjy Member


    I agree. Not that it's fair... I dance exclusively with girls at socials, and then equivalent assumption about me doesn't hold true, so it's not a particularly just system, but it's what you'd expect when 95% of people are one way and 5% are another... the vast majority is considered the default.

    Anyway, I think it is extremely important in the development of a high level dancer to understand the opposite part. It's more important for guys to follow than girls to lead, in my opinion, and almost universally guys at the championship level can follow and usually dance the girl's part to some degree... whereas many of our girls cannot do our parts. My partner can lead. I made her learn :p
  17. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    To answer the one question: "fly-over country" is a term (it can be derrogatory, as I sense it was used in this context, or not) for...the overwhelming majority of the continental United States. And culturally speaking most of the Deep South, some of upstate New York, really belongs in the category, too, while Chicago, for whatever it's worth, doesn't--it's the places people "fly over" going from NY to the West Coast (ie California.) The allegedly more "sophisticated" places, while the 'flyover states' are where all those backwards rubes who can't handle two men dancing live, apparently. (Yes, I'm being sarcastic.)

    I would like to learn to lead. I don't think I'd like to social dance with other women, though but it would be fun to try leading a guy.
  18. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    For whatever reason the friend I danced with at the club was really into this, kept trying to take over the leading...having me do turns and stuff, lol.

    Technically I've never followed another guy's lead other then the occasional "here let me show you why this doesn't work so well for the girl" sort of thing and I stumbled through the ladies steps as they were trying to demonstrate. As I mentioned before I have danced with male instructors before though. Depending whether or not we can get the house to ourselves today I may have my first true experience trying to follow...kinda anxious, lol.
  19. ViviDancer

    ViviDancer Member

    Well I'd think it'd be weird for two guys to be dancing together, especially if it was standard. However, saying that, I do enjoy being the follower, both in standard and latin, partly to show that I can do it, and partly because to get a fuller understanding of a certain figure, you have to understand both the male and female steps.

    So occasionally, I do change roles with my partner and we just have fun and learn at the same time. But guy-guy? Haha don't think I'll try it anytime soon xP
  20. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    I'd like to point out that to truly understand partner dance you must do both parts - in fact to become a certified teacher, you HAVE to. Just sayin'...

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