IMV, dance socials can be a bit busy and when one song ends and the other one starts there is a scramble, for want of a better word, to find a new partner to dance with. I think during that scramble things can happen that can be taken personally but shouldn't. As far as lists, of course I am aware of who I prefer to dance with or not dance with, but I don't have an official list, and the preferences change from dance to dance. I do think there can be unintentional refusals.. for example, I don't consider a "I'm sitting this one out because I'm tired, but catch me on the next dance" a official reservation. There is just too much happenning and if each song is just 2-3 mins long, I will quickly look around to see if person is still interested in dancing but at that point they may have been grabbed up by another dancer. I guess I just don't take all of that stuff personally and that would be my recommendation to OP.