More Support for Men Learning How to Dance

Discussion in 'Dance Articles' started by Pass It On, May 6, 2003.

  1. Pass It On

    Pass It On New Member

    Read the full story here.

    So which guys here in the forum are good dancers? :lol:
  2. Spitfire

    Spitfire Well-Known Member

    Is there any truth to it? - lol :lol:
  3. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    I'm Surprised . . .

    . . . that very few "real men" have responded to this!

    Read the article by Victoria Ward . . . very interesting, and I do believe every word of it. I have heard of this, and have known about it for years! However, knowing this has not influenced my dancing to the point it is forced! I am me, I always dance as if the person I was dancing with was the only person on the floor. Short or tall, young or older, skinny or pleasingly plump, I look into their eyes, and want them to look back into my eyes as if we were in bed.

    I social dance more now than I compete, and I rarely have to ask someone to dance. Usually, I am being asked to dance before I get off the floor. I am not bragging here, nor am I stuck on myself. Just trying to let you know "why" I believe that article -
    I:
    Know quite a few tricks in both places . . .
    Am not a duffer . . .
    Know I've been tested by women to check out my technique . . .
    Am not flashy, but "could be" . . .
    Am proud of my moves, but not too proud . . . proud enough to please . . .
    Definitely am not shy . . .
    Do not know how to do a "side-to-side" shuffle???
    Have not taken up ballroom dancing - yet . . .
    Have mega-rhythm . . .
    Guarantee reaching the "peaks of passion" is almost certain . . . but that's up to you . . .
    Am not a "furious action man," as I work very hard to control arms and legs . . .
    Dance less with my mate . . . although she is my best social dance partner . . .
    Am very "relaxed and rhythmic" and very smooth . . .
    Do run out of gas, but after 4 to 6 hours of dancing, most everyone's reserve is low . . .
    Love to be creative, always caring, most considerate, very skillful, and invent surprises . . .

    In answer to your questions . . . "yes" I am a good dancer . . . and "yes," there is truth to it! I guarantee that if, almost every man out there would take pride in his appearance, his
    personal hygiene, and his dance prowesses, and, would read and heed this article and not let it go to his head (no pun intended), his love life would be more than fulfilled and his dance card would be full!

    Vince
  4. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    Just Wanted You To Know . . .

    . . . that this past weekend, I attended a 5-day dance competition. As I was checking into the hotel where the event was being held, Victoria Ward's article came hauntingly to mind. It was then and there that I decided to practice (during the entire weekend) what I preach and to heed every word in the article.

    Results: Without a doubt, it was the best "dance" weekend I have ever had. I have never had SO MANY women ask me to dance . . . even before I got off the floor from one dance, I was being taken by the hand and asked to dance. I danced with many advanced dancers and some pros. Seeing the smiles on their faces told me that I was dancing well, and . . . I was 'into' them!

    It was unbelievable! I literally had to change clothes 3 times a day, and lost over 12 pounds over the weekend!

    What a weekend. Now, I want to do an article from the guy's side of the fence. Hell . . . maybe a book, like "Men Are From Earth; Women Are From Earth - Get Over It!' or how about - "A Lead to Follow."
  5. Pass It On

    Pass It On New Member

    I think the confidence is setting in!
    As long as you are fair and kind to all of the ladies, you'll be the hit of the party. Just be careful it doesn't go to your head too much. :lol: It happens all the time. On the other hand, there are some great male dancers that are also great people.
  6. Black Sheep

    Black Sheep New Member

    Dancers in the bed room?
    I can't answer the question about men's dancing being a good indicator of their bedroom performance, for obvious reasons; I'm a male. But I have always felt that I could pretty much judge a man's personality by his dancing, within some limits. The insecure showoff to me is obvious, the creative personality is easy to see, the ego centric who is more concerned with his gyrations while he leaves the girl left twiddling her thumbs is always somewhat pathetically amusing, the confident dancer who concentrates on his partner and is oblivious to others around him, the shy but good dancer (often the stud), he who dances for fun, then there is the seducer (dirty dancing) trying to convince others of his virility, and many other personality traits , I feel, can be analyzed by watching a male dancer. But determining action in the bed chambers by his dancing is one personality trait that is out of my spectrum of my experience for judging, except when watching ladies dance, then they all look like good bedroom material to me! But then I'm 80 years old going on 15.

    Black Sheep
  7. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    Yes, It is . . .

    . . . the confidence IS setting in. It's what has been missing in my dance.

    I am "fair and kind to all the ladies," and I do not use my dance abilities to get them into the sack! I actually felt like I was the "hit of the party" this past weekend.

    As for letting it "go to my head," - no way! Been there. Done that! After several 1st overall wins during 2002, I was seriously knocked down a peg or two at World's. I was humbled and learned my lesson. Never again. That was six months ago, and I still have not competed, as I need to grow a little more.

    Besides, there is no need to do this . . . I already have the best partner, in life and in dance. I hope that every male out there could be as lucky as I am to find such a partner.

    . . . and "no," she doesn't have this website!
  8. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    No Men Out There With *****?

    213 hits . . . and only a handful of males reply! Come on guys. Are you that unsure of yourselves?

    Black Sheep - Ah, a man who knows!
    I pride myself on learning how to "read' people. The book, "Body Language" has been a invaluable tool for life. I certainly can also just watch a person dancing, and can tell you what kind of person he/she is.

    I see that were are both going on "15" . . . how can we possibly have so much knowledge?

    By the way, I sent you an E-mail via your Website. Even if you are 80, I'm one man who would love to jump into your back pockets for a few months, so I could learn from you. I know you have a lot to say and teach. Thanks for all your comments here in Dance-Forums.com . . . I read and cherish each one.

    Vince A
  9. MissAlyssa

    MissAlyssa New Member

    I believe there is quite a bit of truth there..but my lips are sealed :lol:
  10. PunkDancer

    PunkDancer New Member

    Lets get back on this subject!

    Hey People! I am a Guy and just joined this forum. I started dancing at age 16. And i had a couple questions. But this is mostly to the guys.(girls if you have comments please reply). 1)"Why did you begin dancing and what styles of dance?" and for straight sexual oriented guys. 2)" Do other guys make remarks or talk about you being in dance/ even question your sexual orientation?" :?:
  11. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    Re: Lets get back on this subject!

    It was in my blood . . . my Mom was a champion Jitterbug dancer, as well as Ballroom, and I played music from an early age . . . so the musicality and rhythm made dancing a natural expression of music if I wasn't actually playing it.

    I'm mostly into Swing-type dancing.

    Does it really matter??? You are 16, and most of the guys you hang with today will not be around you in 5 years.

    But to answer your questions . . . of course they make remarks. Guys do this to each other - especially at your age.

    Have I been questioned about my sexual oreintation?
    Of course, but who cares? Are you going to let what someone else says or does influence your thinking or what you want to do. I rarely turn down a dance - male or female. It's dance . . . we're not having sex

    If what your male friends say or do has an influence on what you say or do or hide, you are the one who needs to change the attitude. You cannot control what they say or do, but you can control the way you perceive it, and then change your attitude.

    I would venture to say, that since you are on this site . . . you like to dance. I encourage you to do so . . if anything to discover something else about yourself. You are brave to ask the questions you did . . . now be brave and ignore (I know it will be difficult) what is said about you.

    Dancing can open doors for you. Doors that maybe you have only dreamed about . . . oh . . . one last thing . . . WELCOME TO THE DF!
  12. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    And welcome to df PunkDancer! I started last year in my 20s.

    In ref to 2)...people talk about comments being made, but no-one has ever said anything derogatory to me. I actually like dancing both follow and leader roles, and it does not make a difference to me if I'm dancing with a guy or gal. People might be saying things behind my back, but I don't really care. I know that for the typical guy my approach to dance is a little odd. Yesterday night in dance class a beginner was having trouble with a move and I told him to lead me. He was a little taken aback, but he got used to it and appreciated the advice that I gave him. (I help out teaching latin.)

    In ref to 1) I started dancing because I though it looked like fun and wanted to. I started with swing but moved to latin...salsa, cumbia, bachata, forro, cha-cha, merengue...argentine tango. I know a little ballroom as well, but latin is my focus.

    Ciao!
  13. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    I think it's more a matter of what sort of dancer he is. My ex-boyfriend is a decent social dancer, but dances by himself. Has no idea he has a partner....ie, turns away from you and gets mad because you're not where you belong, etc. Also, been dancing the same moves for as long as I've known him. Guess what? Selfish and totally uninteresting lover.

    My husband is a WCS dancer and totally tuned to his partner. Guess what? Absolute opposite of the above guy.

    I don't know if it has anything to do with dancing or not...maybe it's a personality issue.
  14. Pacion

    Pacion New Member

    As I said on another thread PD, welcome! I agree with Vince! (Although I am female :wink: )

    One of the reasons I agree is that I was recently asked whether I thought a certain well known/famous male salsa teacher and performer was gay :shock: I was like :shock: :shock: :shock: how am I supposed to know :!: I only dance with the guy :shock: and no, I was about to try anything to findout whether he is/isn't :lol: If this teacher had listened to such comments/questions about his sexuality and had stopped dancing, the salsa world would be a much poor place for it :(

    I can imagine that it is difficult for guys but, no more difficult I guess for hetersexual women who wanted to play rugby/football or even work in the construction industry. :? Hopefully, it has become easier than it was say 10 or even 20/30 years ago :?
  15. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Since this is coming up the place where I go dancing has quite a few people with same gender sexual orientation. The odd thing is while I've seen lesbians dancing with each other at the latin nights I've never seen gay guys doing the same. Straight guys will dance with each other, but not gay guys. In fact I see the gay guys come in with boyfriends and then proceed to dance with ladies all night. :? I asked one for a dance and he was taken aback. :?
  16. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    i think it's more a case that if you already have the temperment that makes you an attentive & considerate lover, the way you dance will reveal that to others.

    richard powers up at stanford put it this way:

    it IS true that the process of learning to become a good lead can teach things about what really pleases our followers - but i suspect it's individual temperment that influences what nuances are assimilated by any given leader.

    i was going to take issue about the line in the article about ballroom dancers - but i note that this is based in the UK, where i suspect most of the people dancing ballroom are dancing international style. let's put it this way; at my alma mater, i saw the following written on the side of one of the engineering buildings:

    underneath it someone (no doubt of the fairer sex) had responded:

  17. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    here in la i know of at least one place (rudolphos) where they have a gay salsa night. haven't been there myself, but i've heard through the grapevine that some of the guys are terrific followers. i will not speculate on the implications.
  18. jon

    jon Member

    Wanting good connection and paying attention to your partner are useful behaviors in many contexts, not just dance floors and bedrooms. This is a surprise to anyone?
  19. DancePoet

    DancePoet New Member

    Well ... interesting.

    I read the title of this thread, and since I was looking for a good spot to put my 500th post, I felt it would be neat to provide some encouragement for other men just beginning to learn ballroom dancing. Didn't expect to find the actual direction of this thread to be as it is, but this works anyway.

    I suspect that if a survey of 2000 women says "that the way a man dances is a dead give away to his performance between the sheets", this must be true! I'd go a step further and say that the way a man dances is a dead give way to his personality which very likely indicates how he dances through life, not just between the sheets.

    I enjoy dancing with women, and one of my favorite parts about dancing is having the woman smile, giggle, and laugh. If they are enjoying the dance, then they are happy, and this brings joy to me, too!

    I know this translates into how I am between the sheets, yet I speak this with confidence, and not arrogance. I enjoy being "creative, caring, considerate, skillful, and full of surprises" on the dance floor, and this is can be a personal choice for anyone in how they conduct themselves throughout life, not just with dance and making love.

    I started taking lessons to learn what I perceived to be a fun social skill for use at social events. It has become a useful way to practice social skills beyond just the technique and art of the dance itself. As a result of the coupling process that goes on between two dancers, I believe it is actually improving the way I dance through life.

    Back to the reason I originally picked this thread for my 500th post ... I encourage men to take lessons, practice what they have learned, discover how patience can really help, and don't forget to be loving in the way you dance with the women in your life, whether or not you are on the dance floor with them.
  20. Danoo

    Danoo New Member

    well im 14 years old and been dancing for 11 weeks :)
    all the women say im a good dancing and most women ask me to dance after they say im really good so

    theres a bit a good news :p :roll:

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