Negative comments from family members who don't dance

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by tanya_the_dancer, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    Aside from Spouse, the rest of the family (father, brothers) has been, well, supportive, in a kind of "Who are you and what have you done with my daughter/sister?" kind of way. They remember well the uncoordinated, shy, size 22 couch potato, and so when I showed them a video of one of my lessons, there was some shock. I've been becoming someone else for the past two years; lessons, practice, groups, socials: they change you. I think that's a little uncomfortable for them. Just a little.

    They're hoping I do a comp someday so they can come. I warned them it will be expensive (admission to the ballroom ain't like going to the movies) and time consuming, and, yes, boring when you're not intimately acquainted with someone who's dancing. (Although the ladies' Latin costumes should keep my brother entertained.) They're still talking the talk. We'll See. If ever.
  2. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    What if she was playing the US Open and was ahead by one stroke going into Sunday? ;)
  3. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    unfortuneately i was just a beginner when my mom passed away so she never saw anything but the worst possible video footage, but she was very very supportive...my dad has gone to heriage with us twice (because there is a golf course) and he stakes as much of it as his back can stand, but sitting there for long periods doesn't really work for him...my husband is supportive in the way that matters the most; which is to allow massive quantities of our money that might have gone into savings or home repairs, etc, into something that leaves me tired and sore and sometimes frustrated...when he can get away he attends some comps...and usually brings the paper with him as he too has his limit...I agree, I am generally out of the ballroom pretty quickly when I am done as well...i try to watch the better dancers in order to help my own dancing, but I can only do that for so long...my kids have not seen me dance in a while but now that I am doing pretty well, they are infinately more interested...at first they all thought i was crazy and I suspect they were right...no, I know they were right...but now that I am more sane and better at it, they are beginning to appreciate the whole thing
  4. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    I can watch happily for hours and hours! (But then again, it is my hobby, so very different situation from a relative who doesn't dance.)

    At Ohio, I like nothing better than to get up and start watching junior and youth latin around 9-10 in the morning, and watch it all day long, until the session ends around 3ish. I get up every so often to stretch, use the bathroom, and replenish the caffeine supply, but other than that, I watch for ~5-7 hours straight. I like to see all the up-and-coming talent, try to pick out the couples I think are going to be in the final, etc. And then of course I watch the evening events which are about another 5 hours.

    I am actually trying to figure out how I am going to work this if I am offered the opportunity to dance pro-am at Ohio. I think I would want to do that, but I also wouldn't want to miss too much of what's going on in the amateur room.

    I wish that they did pro-am latin//am standard one day, and then pro-am standard//am latin another day. But I'm probably the only person who feels that way!
  5. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    How old are your kids? My son is 14 and he doesn't really care about watching me (or anyone else) dance. I have to take him along to the competitions, but he will spend maybe 30-40 minutes in the ballroom to give room service an opportunity to clean our room. He said he prefers to watch latin or rhythm because of shorter dresses.

    I kinda have short attention span when it comes to watching, too. I prefer to watch pro events or open pro-am for the same reason as you.
  6. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    A kid after my own heart. :)

    Heck, I certianly understand family who can find it boring to watch though. I know I get rather tired of it myself at times, and I'm an addict. though part of that is frustreation that if I'm watching, that means I'm not out there actually dancing. :)
  7. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    I love to sit and watch pro-am, and sometimes when I can catch Open Pro (if I can afford the evening session!) My aunt and uncle came to watch me at Michigan last year and loved it, and apparently my cousin's little girls were heartbroken that Rhythm was on a school night and they couldn't come see--I'm not sure she even bothered telling the boys, though--I don't think three boys under 10 are generally going to want to sit even just through an evening session!
  8. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    Support comes in many forms. Fasc's comment about her mother passing when F was just a beginner reminds me that my mother *loved* ballroom dancing; year after year, she was glued to the tv when the PBS show came on. (I thought she was out of her mind. How we change...)

    She died a few years before I started, so never saw me dance. If she were still alive, she'd be supportive as all get out. She'd help make a dress, glue on stones, listen to me whine, tell me it would get better -- but she would NEVER come to a comp. She would wait for me to come home with a DVD, and then when I left it with her, she'd watch it in privacy -- and have a good cry. And then she'd tell me it was wonderful, no matter how much I screwed up. V. supportive, my mother, in her way. Also v. sentimental.

    So, let's hear it for Mary Margaret Ann and the other mothers who can only support the best way they know how, even if that's weeping in private at the only daughter's new accomplishment, instead of coming to the comp to watch.
  9. Stagekat

    Stagekat Member

    I like this thread! Glad to know I'm not the only one with some members of my non-dance world totally anti-my dancing. Pro has actually "banned" a few of my family members from coming to watch my lessons because of some of the things they have said.
  10. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    I guess I'm lucky. Everybody is supportive in my family, and if they think I'm nuts or obsessed they keep it to themselves.

    Friends and family will come to a local comp, and usually the main topic of conversation is the dress choices/styles when I'm not on the floor (they have to keep entertained somehow!). They're good about it, they come 45 minutes early so as not to miss my heats, stay in the ballroom until I've done both single dances and scholarships, and then hang out a while I thank everybody for coming to watch.

    Nothing like having a cheering section in every section of the ballroom to help you really get out there and dance!
  11. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    The whole "movie" thing that I am doing... my Mom said, "well when it comes out, burn me a DVD." Like she can't be bothered to go to the movie theatre to see me but doesn't mind me pirating my own movie for her.
  12. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    yes...I have been very surprised by how many pros I have heard say that a parent who was still alive has never seen them dance...I actually sent one of my dvd's to FP's dad...shrug
  13. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    I can't, and I'm a dancer!
  14. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    ditto...never been a window shopper
  15. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    Might be a good excersize. Go to a competition where you know absolutely no one and sit for 4 hours and watch syllabus rhythm.
  16. liz

    liz New Member

    my family likes telling everyone about my dancing. But, also wish I would do something different with my money...Kinda makes me want to say" Make up your mind!' If your not for it, stop bragging every chance you get.. Makes me crazy.
  17. FeetwithaBeat

    FeetwithaBeat New Member

    You have an evil side I never existed Larinda ;)
  18. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Really, that's pretty much me at any comp except Seacoast. I know a FEW people, and I'm starting to recognize some people by sight (not by name-I am TERRIBLE with names) but I basically don't know who people are. 90% of the heats, I don't know anyone and don't care about the results. Yet I sit and watch anyway. It cannot hurt to watch and I figure I'll always learn or notice something.

    Pity my poor brother, who knows NOTHING about dancing, but patiently sat through almost all the afternoon Latin pro-am at Tri-State. I wasn't dancing but we had time to kill. I knew a few people, he knew no one (except having been introduced to people from our studio.) He was a good sport about it.
  19. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    I have done this, several times. And learned a lot.

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