General Dance Discussion > one guys beginning dance struggles

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by wiseman, Jun 16, 2010.

  1. rbazsz

    rbazsz New Member

    As a novice lead student I have confronted this issue many times. There often comes a time in a lesson where it's just too advanced for me. When I get rotated with a new lady I just flat out tell her I will not do "such and such" move because I don't know it yet.

    Sure, they are disappointed, but most of them probably feel that it's better that I know my limits. Sometimes they will help me to learn the lead and that's OK as long as we slow down. A few show snobbish resentment but I just ignore those and lead them within my abilities.

    Bottom line is that I'm the lead and so I decide what we are going to do.
  2. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    You can only do what you can, so :cheers: to you for knowing that... :notworth:
  3. wiseman

    wiseman New Member

    Well, at a lesson, it's fine to practice double spinning. Nothing wrong with that because it's a lesson. But at a social, that's a different story. Spinning needs A LOT of solo practicing. If you can't spin solo, then it's going to be hard to spin with a partner unless, like fasc pointed out, the leader has one heck of a strong arm. If the leader senses that the woman doesn't doesn't know proper the techniques to spin, then yeah, they need opt out of leading them during social dancing. For example, the leader may start out with a single turn. If she's struggling with that, why should leader insist on leading her to do double spins?
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    uh not decide what you are going to lead...and she decides how she is going to respond

    as to not leading something you don't feel comfortable with, I think that is considerate provided you are not at a class specifically designed to learn that move...b/c if you are not willing to work on the move that is the focul point of what is being taught, you have no business being there...and that would be my response to kayak's post as well...that while a lady shouldn't be forced to do a double, if she is going to a class on double spins, she should either be trying to do them or opting out of the class
  5. GGinrhinestones

    GGinrhinestones Well-Known Member

    I agree with fasc. You are the lead, but it is still an equal partnership. And worth remembering that if you are flat out refusing to lead something that is a part of the class she is paying to attend, you are also flat out refusing to help her learn. Not trying to sound harsh, just pointing out that she is also there to learn something.

    Perhaps a better approach is what you already stated, that she helps you learn the lead. Or, better yet, ask the instructor to show it again so you can get it, and you can both learn what you are in the class to learn.
  6. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    I'm confused. I take lessons because I want to learn something. If I already know it, I'm not learning. Since I'm there to learn, I will try. And I will do my best. And I will learn, but only if I try.
    Sounds to me like you are not only making it harder for your partner in rotation to learn during the lesson, but also yourself.
  7. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Yeah. At a social, sure, if you aren't comfortable leading something it's better to opt not to. In a group class...well, you're all there to learn and presumably aren't necessarily adept at whatever's being done, and if you just won't do it, you're kind of defeating the purpose. If the entire class is such you can't learn what's being taught, you need to not be in the class because it's too advanced for you. If I took a class in open-level Standard Foxtrot technique and theory, I wouldn't be able to do most things, but that wouldn't mean I should just say "Lead something easy", it means I should take a class more suited to my level (with Standard, that's like "Remedial Standard for Dummies.")
  8. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    ^^^ That.
    And quite honestly, this statement:
    comes off to me as, well, someone who's being a jerk about their personal control issues. If you're in a class, no, you DON'T decide what "we" are going to do, the instructor decides. And a follow in the class has every right to expect the lead she encounters in the rotation to do what's being worked on in the class.
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    wooh...the next time I am in Atlanta I would really like to have a drink with you...I politely request permission to give you my cell number....
  10. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Please do! Sending you a PM. :)
  11. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

  12. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    Dude, if there are moves that are too advanced for you to even try, should you even be in the class? That's not snobbish resentment, that's ladies feeling like you are wasting their time and money.
  13. nottomention

    nottomention New Member

    Unfortunately it's not uncommon to have borderline impractical moves turn up in entry-level classes.
  14. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Well-Known Member

    :shrug: If it's on the bronze syllabus...
    (fallaway slip pivot in DVIDA smooth waltz) :razz:
  15. rbazsz

    rbazsz New Member

    That's a valid question because I don't feel good about wasting anybody's time so I enroll in classes for beginner skill levels. However, it's not my fault if a lady is rotated to me that's ready to try a move and I'm not. It's not her fault either, so who is left to blame?
  16. nottomention

    nottomention New Member

    The teacher! (or management, if that's where the class topics came from)
  17. wiseman

    wiseman New Member

    I'm confused. Are you saying that some ladies rotate to you and ask you to try a move that's advanced for you?? So they're asking you to try a move that the instructor is not teaching? The instructor should clearly break down the move in class and explain it. Then everybody should be trying it out afterwards while the instructor watches everyone. If a lady is asking you to try something more advanced, perhaps she's in the wrong class and probably should move up to the next level since she feels she's too advanced for the class. All I know is....the whole class should be on the same page and doing the same moves.
  18. davedove

    davedove Well-Known Member

    The first step in wisdom is realizing how much you don't know.:cool:
  19. nottomention

    nottomention New Member

    I got the sense that the instructor was presenting figures which were beyond the present supporting skills of at least part of the class.

    It's a very common problem - and in an entry level class, its not exactly the students' fault.
  20. wiseman

    wiseman New Member

    If that's the case, it's the instructor's fault. The instructor should not be teaching moves that's too advanced, especially in an entry-level class. I'd say be careful with certain instructors that are like that. Based on my experience, some instructors do that on purpose to confuse students so they sign up for privates and make money.

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