General Dance Discussion > Pet Peeves at Dances

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Phil Owl, Mar 29, 2003.

  1. Phil Owl

    Phil Owl Well-Known Member

    It's a question I can't help but ask, it always produces interesting insights and responses.

    Mine would be:

    1) People with bad hygene, especially when you can tell from a distance (OY!!)

    2) People who constantly criticize you, constantly correct you and try to teach you while dancing, a HUGE no-no!! This is very demeaning and belittling.

    3) A woman who won't let you lead

    4) Snottyand/or disinterested attitudes. The worst one is when someone projects this air of "Im doing you a favor by dancing with you!". Dancing is supposed to be FUN!!

    5) At social dances, couples who have complete absolute disregard for others around them (exemplified for instance, by darting in between other couples showing off their competition moves that need a whole empty floor to pull off. That is just pure arrogance!)

    6) When someone refuses a dance with you, saying they're sitting it out or just leaving, then seeing them seconds later dancing with someone else, talk about RUDE!!!!!!!! That's a person I would NEVER ask again!

    7) Snobbery. It kills me how some folks look down on other types of dances and the people that love them. For instance, I've gotten incredulous looks and expressions from one or two folks because I like EC AND WC Swing. To me, it's all good!

    What are yours, from the ridiculous to the sublime?
  2. cindymoose

    cindymoose New Member

    pet peeves

    Add to the list: people who seem to think that they are good enough to not "need" private instruction. There is NO SUBSTITUTE for it. No one "needs" private lessons, but most will certainly benefit from the input of a qualified instructor.
  3. Spitfire

    Spitfire Well-Known Member

    Of all these this is the one that I see most often done. They say they're tired and need to rest and then they are up dancing with someone else. I sometimes wonder though if the guy who asks next is pushy about it. :eek:
  4. Liz076

    Liz076 New Member

    Dancing Pet Peeves

    I'd have to say that one of my biggest peeves is when somone is considered a big fish in a little pond where they come from, but wont leave their own realm for fear of not recieving the same attention and compliments. I call it the "shock-collar syndrome." If they dare to cross the threshhold of another vicinity, they'll recieve a shock around their neck. :roll:
  5. MissAlyssa

    MissAlyssa New Member

    Someone that concentrates on making a conversation so bad that they keep stepping on you. Please don't talk about what you had for dinner, how you cooked it, what you ate on, which wine went best, and what you were wearing while we are tango-ing!! :roll:
  6. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    MIss Alyssa . . . "especially if they haven't brushed their teeth yet!!!"
  7. MissAlyssa

    MissAlyssa New Member

    Oh gosh, don't remind me. I had a guy that was in my training class that always had breath that smelled like sour milk. EVERY DAY!! eew. :shock:
  8. DanceMentor

    DanceMentor Administrator

    I remember about 10 years ago when I was a trainee the studio owner took me aside and told me some of the ladies had complained that I smelled. I was shattered. Did I really smell? Who was complaining? Needless to say, I always made sure I was clean, wearing deodorant and carrying breath mints.

    As much as it may hurt the person, I think you should try to find a tactful way to let them know, because you are actually doing them a good service by letting them know.
  9. samba ajr

    samba ajr New Member

    I did this, once (very careful now). The second person who asked was one of the hosts, I knew him well, and I...--he put out his hand and my automatic response was to get up and dance. The first person hadn't even realized I "dissed" him, until I apologized to him! (Still dancing with him a lot). Keep in mind that it's tricky for some of us to refuse a dance to begin with, so doing it twice during the same song is even harder!
  10. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    You make a good point samba ajr -- that although it is, ideally, something to be avoided, sometimes there's more to the situation then meets the eye, i.e. you really do want to sit the next dance out but then a friend you only see every couple of months says they're leaving but asks you for a last dance, etc.

    At the same time, however, if a pattern of this nature develops it really is quite rude. Its one thing if the potential partner just says "no thank you", but if a reason is given, hypocrisy should not then ensue.
  11. MissAlyssa

    MissAlyssa New Member

    I've come across this a few times..

    people standing, drinking a beer on the dance floor at country music clubs. they act like we [the dancers] should say "excuse me" when we bump into them...

  12. dancergal

    dancergal New Member

    Hi everyone, I'm new here. I hope I'm posting this on the right page. Your title "Pet Peeves" caught my eye. I agree with all your pet peeves! Mine also is other couples who bump into you or step on you because they are throwing their parter around wildly and not paying attention while dancing on a crowded floor. As far as not dancing with one person and turning around and dancing with someone else, although it's not polite, sometimes it cannot be helped. I think people need to be less sensitive about it and just try to have fun.
  13. DanceMentor

    DanceMentor Administrator

    Hi dancergal,

    Welcome to the Dance Forums!
    One time this couple just kept running into me. At every party, it seemed they would always have a major collision with me. To make matters worse, they kept smiling even after they ran into me. Finally, I had enough and I was red in the face, and said, "Look, you better watch where you are going. This has gone too far!" Then the lady said, "My partner is blind. I would appreciate it if you would be especially careful when you see us nearby." I was astounded and ashamed. Morale of the story: Sometimes is better to learn a little bit about the person before passing judgement.

    Another time, there was this guy that kept running into people and he has no excuses. We surprised him in the middle of the dance by wrapping him in packing wrap. Two people ran at him, one on either side. He didn't know what hit him until he was immobilized. That was a little rash, but he was much more careful after that.
  14. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Welcome to the forums dancergal!
  15. Phil Owl

    Phil Owl Well-Known Member

    A couple more:

    1) Partners who insist on using a deathgrip, makes it impossible to lead and in some cases, just plain HURTS! :shock: A variation is when the partner gets so stiff and rigid (especially in the arms), makingit impossible to lead.

    2) Along the lines of what Dance Mentor and Dancergal said, couples or people that pointedly have NO awareness of people around them resulting in multiple collisions and such. Sometimes at Lindy/Swing events, people try dangerous moves that can endanger their partner of others. More and more I've noticed many Swing venues have strict rules against doing aerials and acrobatic moves on the premises.
  16. dancergal

    dancergal New Member

    Pet Peeves

    Thanks for the welcome! I appreciate it. :) Sometimes the dances we have gone to are so crowded that dancing is not longer fun or safe. Couples fling their arms and legs around like they have all the room in the world. I've gone off the floor limping or tears in my eyes when someone stepped on me or kicked me. Some people have no consideration for others. I am also at a loss what to do when the person I am dancing with makes dancing with him very unconfortable. One man held his hand to almost chest level when doing WCS when it should be more waist level. It made dancing unconfortable, but I didn't know him and didn't know if I should tell him. I saw him dancing all night, so no one else told him either. Then I felt later that I should have said something.
  17. DanceMentor

    DanceMentor Administrator


    It's doesn't sound like too much fun when there is no room and your partner has an awkward lead. It sounds like you need to find some more advanced dancers, as well as a place that has room to dance. Sometimes packing a lot of people into one place increases the excitement level, but other times it's just plain hot and crowded. :cry:
  18. dancergal

    dancergal New Member

    Hi dancementor, Actually I have a regular dance partner, but we do dance with others. It really depends on the places that we go for the different level of dancers. Some dances have a good amount of intermediate and advance level dancers, other have more intermediate and beginners. That's the fun of social dancing I guess. We do go to many different dances so crowded isn't always the case. We attend a lot of WCS dance conventions in the Bay Area and although they are fun, at times the dance floor gets very crowded. But I love country two-step and that's the place that gets really crowded. There aren't too many places that do country, so we don't have a lot of choice of where to go. We just leave when it's too unconfortable to dance.
  19. Roxanne

    Roxanne New Member

    Hiya Phil

    I have definately seen all of the things that bother you. As a teacher, I would have to say some are very disappointing to see happen to say the least. The attitude/snobbery/criticism is definately one of them. Especially when I have a new student at a dance and its towards him. As if confidence wasn't already an issue prior to him taking the first step on a crowded dance floor, then he happens to ask someone that believes they are the "diva of dance" and spends the entire song criticising and "correcting" his dancing.. it makes a very ruff next lesson :( His confidence is shot and it takes weeks to get him back into another dance to try again. I believe people tend to forget that at some point they were in the exact same place and it takes time and practice to get to be a decent dancer.

    Many women often complain that there are not enough men to dance with. Yet, at the same time, they don't want to be bothered helping the beginner men get started. They tell them no, do act disinterested while dancing with them, or somehow insult them during their dance. I realize it is more fun to dance with the advanced dancers, but a couple of dances with a beginner guy isn't going to kill anyone. Especially since rarely will anyone be able to dance every dance with an advanced dancer.
    Phil Owl likes this.
  20. msc

    msc New Member

    9 times out of 10, those "divas of dance" just know a whole lot of patterns, but very little in the way of body actions or the isometrics required for strong body tone. Which means they're not really that advanced at all.

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