Please Help! Dancing at Prom!

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Xander, Apr 20, 2006.

  1. Xander

    Xander New Member

    I'm a junior in high school and have managed to get a GORGEOUS girl to go with me to Prom. Because of her extreme good looks and popularity, she is sort of expecting me to be a good dancer. The last thing I want to do is let her down and I certainly don't want to embarass myslef. The problem is, I am a very poor dancer and extremely inexperienced. Could someone please give me a few tips on how to act and dance on prom night (maybe some links???)? I'm not expecting to become a great dancer, but if anyone knows the kind of moves people do and how I should prepare, I would be very grateful. Thanks for your time.

    Also, I searched for an FAQ and all the links were broken. Sorry.
  2. Xander

    Xander New Member

  3. saludas

    saludas New Member

    You now have to go to a DANCE STUDIO and get lessons. unlike looks, which are genetic, dance is a LEARNED skill which you need to train for. It's not hard, but it's not something you can do in a few hours from a book or video,....
  4. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

    Well, you could always rent Napolean Dynamite ;)
  5. waltzgirl

    waltzgirl New Member

    Try looking under "General Dance Discussion." There's a posting at the top of the first page called something like "Club Dancing, including Grinding" with several links to extended discussions about situations just like yours. Have fun!
  6. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    {assumes Ben Stein voice} Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

    Seriously... Let me address your last point first: how to act. That's actually a darn good question, and I wish I'd had someone to advise me on it when I was your age. We have this quaint old concept of "gentleman" that we talk about around here. I'll tell you a couple of things about being a gentleman. Now I don't expect you to get this all at once; some of it has to come from experience. But let me see if I can give you a few tips.

    1. A prom is (or at least it was, last I checked) supposed to be a fairly formal event. So dress sharp. And by that, I don't mean just rent some generic tux. Go down to the men's store and ask them for some help with what looks good on you. My experience with the personnel in the men's stores is that they get so mind-numbingly bored with the guys that come in and just want a tux because their momma told them to, that when a guy comes in and is actually interested in finding something that looks good on him, they fall all over themselves trying to help. A tux might not even be the best thing for you; a suit and tie might be better. (Unless the prom rule is that you must absolutely be in a tux.)

    2. When you at the prom with your date, you want to be attentive and polite to her, but not subservient. I was your age once, and I know how it goes: you aren't sure how to act, and you tend to swing wildly between being clingy and stuck-up. You want to project an air of confidence, but not arrogance. Watch a John Wayne movie and you'll kind of get what I mean. Address your date by her first name (or whatever name she prefers to be called). I take it from your description that you haven't dated her before, so don't use pet names, at least not at first. Needless to say "ho" is right out. :rolleyes: Do all the stuff your mom taught you that ladies like: hold the door for her, pull out her chair for her, etc. Take her hand when helping her out of the car, and of course you'll touch when you dance. Otherwise, hands off until she gets a little comfortable with you, and even then limit your hands to the areas of her hands, back, shoulders, and waist. (Note that some women don't like having their face touched, particularly when in makeup. and don't touch her hair because it might injure you.) Absolutely no groping. When you want to dance with her, ask first; don't just drag her onto the floor, or walk up to her and start grinding on her. And try not to be impressed by the fact that she's particularly attractive or popular. You'll probably find that she actually gets tired of people fawning all over her, and is eager for the company of someone who actually wants to get to know her and isn't just wanting to ride her wagon.

    3. She will no doubt want to talk to other people at times. So will you. Don't sweat it. You don't have to be together every second. If she wants to go talk to her friends for a bit, you can go talk to yours too. Do keep an eye on her, not to "keep her on a leash", but to see when she wants to join up with you again. (Being that she's popular, at some point during the night, she will doubtless get stuck talking to someone that she finds unbearably boring. Here you have a great chance to be a gallant savior and come "rescue" her, pointing out something that she absolutely must attend to immediately, even though it means unfortunately abandoning her absolutely fascinating conversation. No doubt she will apologize most graciously to the person she's talking to. ;) )

    5. Leave your bleepety-bleep cell phone at home. Do not doubt me on this. Just do it.

    6. In the art of being a good conversationalist, there is one very simple rule: Listen. Try to find topics that you would both have in common. (Family is always a good one). Remember, you're trying to get to actually know your date better. So some of the things that she talks about may seem silly or trivial to you, but they are important to her, or else she wouldn't bring them up. So if she says "I hate my mother sometimes", don't blow that off; say something to keep the conversation moving like "What's happening between you and your mother?" Believe me, your date will be grateful for someone who will listen and not judge her. And you will gain valuable insights into the fascinating world of mother-daughter issues. :shock:

    7. Finally, just in case: Because teenage girls are not the most stable people in the world (neither are teenage boys, but we'll keep that to ourselves), it's possible that during the evening you will get dumped. If this happens, do not turn into a wallflower. You are there; you are a confident man and you can find other friends to talk to and other girls to dance with. Don't do out and dance with someone just to spite your date, but don't let her disapproval stop you either.

    Oh yeah, we were going to talk about dancing. Well, first, consider that in your class, there are probably about six people that will know what they are doing on the dance floor. Everyone else is just making it up. But try this at home: Stand up straight, with your weight on your right foot. Bend your left knee forward. Notice how your left hip drops? Now straighten the knee, and then transfer your weight to the left foot. Bend the right knee, and the right hip wil drop. Straighten it, and transfer the weight back to the right foot. Repeat. When you get to where you can do it, try it to music. You've just learned a basic Latin motion, same as what the championship guys on Dancing With The Stars do. You can use that for grinding. Situate your date in front of you, with her offset to your right a bit, so that her right leg is in front of and between your legs. Don't do contact at the start; just take both of her hands in your hands. Just do the Latin motion and let her move her hips with you. If she's OK with it, after you've danced some, you can move to a contact position with your right hand on her back, and your left arm almost straight down and holding her right hand. In this position, you might even be able to do a salsa basic if you get a faster song. (P.S.: I know that some people grind with the woman's back to the man. You can do this a bit for variety, but I personally thinks this is lacking in the intimacy department.)

    Now, you didn't say when this prom is, but I'm guessing it's soon. That being the case, you really don't have time to learn a lot for this prom. But your senior prom is still a year away. Why not start some dance lessons? If there's a college in your area, try checking to see if they have a ballroom, Latin, or salsa dancing program. Colleges often offer group lessons pretty cheap (like $5 per lesson), and it will probably be a crowd more your age. You'll meet lots of people, and dancing with a few more mature women will be good for your confidence and social graces.
  7. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

    You're hired!

    :notworth:
  8. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Looks like I've found my purpose in life... ;)
  9. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

    I'll send my kids knocking in about 6 years!

    (remember to tell my daughter that you get pregnant whilst kissing; it's our story and we're sticking with it. Oh yeah, and childbirth is REALLY painful. She's allergic to pain!)
  10. icering

    icering New Member

    buy a dance video, or take an intro class at you local studio. Can the girl dance? It works both ways you know?
  11. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Hey, I'm sending my x in first, and I'll send him in with a list!!! :p
  12. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    cornutt - your post answering xander rocked... :notworth: we are soooo not worthy....
  13. spartan_117

    spartan_117 New Member

    i agree!!
  14. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

  15. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

  16. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

  17. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    Depends on the age. I can hardly imagine two semi-logical 14 year olds, for instance, doing anything beyond kissing...

    T_E
  18. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    You would be surprised. That's the age where most kids start experimenting! I had my first kiss at 14, but a few of my friends did a little more than kiss at that age!
  19. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member


    There's an oxymoron!

    Trust me, from what I've heard, they start even younger. It is downright SCARY to own children these days!
  20. cl5814

    cl5814 New Member

    I absolutely love your response. **giggling**

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