You have heard from my wife before about her issues with learning dance, but now I’m writing to ask for perspectives on how to handle the differences in our talents, learning rates and ambitions. We are a couple who have been learning American ballroom for about two years. (When we started, I thought I could never learn and she thought it would take a few weeks!) We take private and group lessons together, and attend many parties and dances both in and out of the studio as well. In addition I usually spend an hour or so a day working on patterns and music listening. Our objective has been to dance socially with a higher level of techniques. While both of us are passionate about our new hobby, we are often frustrated with problems and issues: We started at the beginning level together but my wife is obviously ahead of me while I am struggling mainly with timing, navigation and many other details. As a couple, the studio has wanted to keep us together in our progress, so she has become dissatisfied with the progress. She started to take lessons by herself on international style. But I’m struggling to remember to listen to the music while figuring out what to dance, so adding more dances seems really counterproductive to me. We still dance together at my level but there is often a lot of tension. I want to repeat patterns when we dance and she typically wants to dance not repeat patterns but have them be better than I often manage. It’s clear that I set the rate of progress for our dancing and I am not a quick learner in this area leading to a lot of frustration on her part. She has now found it frustrating that she has learned more advanced international dances but has no one to dance them with. But, I've really tried very hard and don’t see how I can go faster. I am concerned about our original goal -- dancing together as a couple, though it is still a goal for both of us. We have watched other couples dealing with the same issue: one couple ended up with the man finally dropping out, and the lady became a pro-am competitive dancer. Another couple, while they still dance together, have had the woman take lessons for competitive dancing with pro partners. We know several couples where they dance very well socially, though without the polish that we have come to appreciate. And of course we have known couples that just dropped out. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions about how to deal with this disparity in learning speeds without her going the pro-am route? Thank you in advance!