Hi, folks, many thanks from “she,” the poor beaten wife! I joked when I encouraged my husband to start this thread, “Post it and you will have the whole world standing behind you!” Now, into serious business! There are so many valuable pieces of advice above that I am going to put them together as my practice list. I may come here from time to time to ask detailed questions about my practice to pursue further feedback. Meanwhile, I have one issue to clarify and to invite more advice on: As some pointed out, I do have ego related issues, such as dancing for admiration or self-centered ambitions and expectations, etc., though I have adjusted a lot along the learning process (at least being more realistic). The frustration in dealing with the partnership, however, is not derived from my attitude or goal, rather, it results from our day to day practice, of which the most crucial issue is timing in partnership. We know there are some threads on this forum discussing this particular problem. I bring it up here because it is related to the topic – problems as a couple learning dance. After two years dancing together, I have become more frustrated and impatient struggling between the music I hear and the lead I feel. Sometimes I try to help but the resistance he feels would screw up the whole dance, or even whole evening. The instructors always tame me, “You follow only the leader, period!” I understand that! But, while my husband keeps working very hard on the issue, I need more skills to cope with it, especially in most open positions in American dances (chase in Cha Cha, for example). Psychologically, I also need to overcome my own embarrassment on a social dance floor. I much prefer we dance basic patterns as long as we dance to the music. I also care very much about my husband’s feelings, (this time he encouraged me to bring this up here) given how hard he is trying. He can hear the music just fine when practicing by himself, but with a partner he is really inconsistent depending on his emotional state. Sometimes he can do very well for a whole evening. Other times he has a hard time getting anything right in the timing. It seems to have to do with his emotional reaction to the room and the other people dancing. We have tried a lot of ways, and it has seemed to be getting better many times, but the problem is still there. Here comes an expectation issue – once it gets right, I expect that it will stay that way thereafter, but it doesn’t.