If it makes you feel any better, kckc, my father is 21 years older than my mother. They married when my mom was 25 (which, at that age, makes the age difference much more of a "big deal", i think). I could tell you stories... even with my parents lying about my father's age to protect the relationship from judgement (they claimed he was "only" 11 years older -- my dad has always looked younger than he is)... my grandmother did not like originally like my dad because he was an American and not a nice Portuguese boy (whole story about that too). Alas, my father was not a picky eater and ate anything and everything my grandmother put in front of him - and wholeheartedly enjoyed it! He couldn't communicate with her since he couldn't speak Portuguese.... and at the end of it all, he turned out to be my grandmother's favorite child-in-law (which is saying a lot, considering she has 9 married children!).... Sorry for the hijack of my parents' story. the bottom line/advice about large age-gap relationships: 1- my grandmother loved my father best because he didnt take a patriarchal approach to his marriage. he respects and adores my mom and it shows. most of her other sons-in-law were much more domineering with her daughters. My mother leads a life where she has to constantly travel and interact with other ppl (and men) and my father is happy to watch her do what makes her happy. I think this is a result of the combination of the American mindset of my father (compared to his bros-in-law) and the maturity from age difference (he had already lived a very full and experienced life by the time he met her) 2- now that my father is getting older and has gone thru the natural effects of aging as well as having beaten cancer twice, the age difference is starting to take its toll. My mom needs to help him a lot more - be a sort of caretaker (more than the usual cooking, cleaning, etc.) She is quite obviously scared of losing him everytime he is not feeling well or has a pain. He is getting more clingy and smothering in that he wants her to do everything with him... like a puppy. His personality has changed dramatically (more like a grumpy old man when he used to be very laid back) and, altho she still loves him, it definitely puts a strain on her in that she misses the man she originally married. So, there are pros and cons. As long as you understand the possibilities of the future and you think you can handle them, go for it. Thats def the hardest part. but if you wind up in love and your love is true and deep enough, those things wont matter.