pygmalion's dating advice thread

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by pygmalion, Jun 11, 2010.

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  1. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    LC, as I noted in a previous post, please do not use this forum to continue previous interactions with Fleur. Fleur has sent me an acknowledgment of my request via pm, I would appreciate if you would also respect this request....
     
  2. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    K, will do...just wanted to make it clear to others that we are NOT friends.
     
  3. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    thank you everybody...
     
  4. Subliminal

    Subliminal Well-Known Member

    Peaches, you are the only one who understands me.

    ;)
     
  5. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    My immediate thought too...
     
  6. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    And in actual relationship-related news. Hey sub! Did you see the butterfly thingie at the Smithsonian?
     
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member




    And in other actual dating-related news, I was scrolling back past the tiresome fodder (no, tt, not your absolutely valuable post. that was not fodder at all. :applause: ) and found these two posts within a page of each other. Interesting. So here's a question for the void. Is it possible to have it all? A girl who's a hippie, a yuppie, logical and intuitive? A guy who's rich, handsome and funny?

    Or is that the kind of idealism that leaves you high and dry?
     
  8. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    I got a guy who's handsome and funny, we're working together on making him rich. :)
     
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I also have a few more questions/topics prompted by recent discussions. Feel free to take any or all and run with them, as long there's no sniveling, sniping, belly-aching or navel-gazing involved. :wink:

    One: Is it possible to find true love the second time around? Or does the ... crud ... from the first time have to poison the well?


    Two: How important is it that a couple be compatible in their preferred entertainments? For example TD said that she's adventurous and may be taking her BF for trapeze (sp?) lessons. I'm going on record and saying that that would be excruciating torture for me. So, should I avoid all adventure dudes? How much does it really matter that I'd rather sit around and read Jeeves?
     
  10. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    I'll tell you what my brother used to say (before his brain injury, he doesn't joke much these days. :-( )

    Here's the definition of a handsome man. Gnarled, old, stumpy, fat ... and with ten million dollars in the bank. :lol:
     
  11. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    If you're all that then it stands to reason the 'all that' is out there as well.
     
  12. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    If you don't mind, I think I'm going to take this over to the parenting thread. There are a lot of great ideas implied, here, that tie into the discussion we had in that thread about a good education. I've run into this, over and over, while mentoring younguns. They are well on the way to a degree, but are lacking essential chunks of a good education, IMO. Technical folks, for example, who can't design a real-world experiment and draw logical conclusions from the data. People (any sort of people) who don't have written and verbal communication skills. I'd love to hear the thoughts of the collective community over there, by way of preparing DS, but also just to exchange ideas. :cool:
     
  13. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    Question is, am I all that, or am I SO not all that and looking to find someone who'll fill in the pieces of me that I know are deficient? (Not talking about you, quix. Talking about me.)

    And is finding someone who completes me (Pardon the cliche.) necessarily a bad thing?
     
  14. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    That's another conversation - about self awareness. I know I'm all that, but I doubt my looks despite evidence to the contrary. This alone keeps me from being confident and the rest is easy to deduce - we all know better than to be insecure. I have a plan - but lets not discuss that now :) As to the rest, I'm also learning that when you are all that, there will still be aspects of you that will have room for growth and consequently, can be a deal breaker for others.
     
  15. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    Wow. I wish sami was here, because I'm about to attempt, unsuccessfully, to paraphrase her. Isn't it better to know? The more clearly you know who you are and who you aren't, the more decisively you can screen out the poor matches and get on to meeting the good matches.

    A lot of time can be wasted, if I'm wishy-washy about who I am and what I want.
     
  16. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    I used to have a list of about 10-15 things I wanted from a GF. I've been slowly paring it down to 2-3... I want the rest too but they need to be non-essentials.
     
  17. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    My therapist asked me to do the same -- make a list of must haves. He also asked that I make a list of would-be-nice-to-haves and absolute show-stopper unacceptables.

    The third list was actually most enlightening to me.
     
  18. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    I would imagine things can move around between the must haves and would like to haves..
     
  19. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    I'm not shooting for simple lists. I'm going for 2-3 must haves, 1-2 no-no's, 3 out of 10 and you are ins, 5 out of 15 and you are out kind of model.
     
  20. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    You may be right, ww. That's not what I found. My must haves list is super, super short, and my like to have list is fairly long. But it is what is is, once you go through the process of really thinking about it. My experience only. :cool:
     
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