pygmalion's dating advice thread

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by pygmalion, Jun 11, 2010.

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  1. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Active Member

    dont want to reply right away. i am convinced if i act remotely interested ill scare someone away. haha so stupid.
     
  2. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Ok. Got it. :cool:
     
  3. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    wow, lotsa chit chat here. no others responding? mebbe most peeps have been in long-term relationships and haven't hit the dating realm for awhile...?

    P, sounds like an exciting time is ahead of you. wishing you the very best. if you ever wanna PM about it, for more candid chat, don't hesitate. fwiw, have been a free agent for a long time, with lots of varied experience in the dating realm... glad to pass on any and all experiences if they'd prove of any value to you.

    ww... same to you. have fun. be safe. :)

    as for younger men... well, i think i have made my perspective clear on this previously. former SO (obligatory sigh here, although am at peace with the change)... was 29 when we met, and hardly a flake. have always been partial to 30-something men, but am just sayin'... there are some young men out there who are of a new breed of awareness and substance. don't write them off. says the chica who for most of life went for the older guys. :rolleyes: for me at this point, not that it matters in this thread, i care about consciousness and awareness most of all, no matter the age. if there is a guy my age with that piece, bring him on. i just haven't met him yet if that's the case, tho. most are quite weighed down by bitterness or a self-concept of old age. psh....

    as for younger guys only being interested in getting you nekkid. again -- psh... older guys just as guilty. and anyway... who's to say, frankly, that that is such a bad thing? just sayin'... i mean, i am truly the most independent chica i know, and have been at the forefront of the whole women's lib thing since i was a tween, but... there are some things which are primal which that whole movement just doesn't take into account.

    P... coming into your own power as a female and owning every aspect of it is a potent thing. even the primal bits.:cool:

    own it all, be cool with every aspect of yourself, don't devalue any of it, that's my ultimate advice upon hitting the dating realm. just be and enjoy it all. you're not a teen anymore, so you don't have to prove your virtue or any other aspect of yourself to anyone.
     
  4. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    You should send it in a suitable envelope, and write DO NOT OPEN UNTIL FEBRUARY 14, 2011 across the back flap.

    And for more fun provide a return address in the customary place... but without a name.
     
  5. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Or we've been single, but still haven't hit dating realm for a while. :)
     
  6. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    Friday nights, in general are slow around here. I'm sure the peanut gallery will chime in with more input at some point. :cool:

    I think we're singing from the same sheet of music here. I'm not looking for a guy who's any particular age on the calendar, but ... Back in the day, we used to have a saying, "young in the head." I'm looking for a guy who's the opposite of young in the head (whatever that may be for me; I'm still figuring it out.)

    And the whole bitterness thing does concern me, I have to admit. I hold myself to pretty high standards and have kept myself out of the dating scene to keep any residual bitterness from hurting people. I really am looking for someone who is willing to try to reciprocate. Shall see. Baggage is not easy. * shrug*


    Don't think I haven't thought about that, too. I've gone the whole marriage, kid, house in the suburbs, good girl route. All for what? I don't have anything left to prove. So why not take a luvvah? (me channeling Carrie Bradshaw here.) There's no reason why I have to buy into the whole happily-ever-after story any more. Maybe it doesn't apply to me, right now, or maybe even ever again. Do I have to find someone else to complete me? Am I not enough all by myself?

    Why not, at least at this stage, give myself the mental freedom to step back, own the process and think about what will genuinely make me happy, for a change?

    What is that Einstein quote about the definition of insanity? Am I assuming that doing the same things over, albeit with a different person, will yield different results?

    Hmm.


    It is exciting, I have to admit. Liberating.
     
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    I hear ya. Input from when folks were in the dating scene would still be appreciated, though. These kinds of questions tend to be, if not universal, then close.

    The fact that someone went through an experience five years ago or even twenty, doesn't make it any less valuable. :cool:
     
  8. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    m2c?....reforming a bad guy isn't a good plan...if he is already reformed, perfectly fine...otherwise, playin' w/fire...my second, and most importan,t point; look carefully at why a guy seems boring...b/c alot of children of dysfunction find normalcy and stability boring...so they often pick poorly b/c they simply don't know what to do with stability, absence of neediness, passion that isn't disproportionate...etc
     
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    lolz...and if you happen to be a handful, sometimes it takes a very low key dude to absorb that...not talking about you P...just sayin
     
  10. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    Hear ya. And T, the guy my Mom wanted me to marry, was a child of dysfunction himself, and overreacting, IMO.

    Lord! Lord! He was mentally older then, at 21, than I am now, at twice that, plus. And he was all wrapped up in a sanctimonious religion sandwich. Blech! Nauseating to me, even then. *shudder*


    Your point is a good one, in general, though. I agree. Examine your underlying motivations. :cool:
     
  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member



    Hmm. ;)
     
  12. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Dunno, I'm pretty sure Pyg is probalby a handful. :)
     
  13. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    ah...well..over reacting isn't boring...it just sucks...and the religion thing is a huge deal -breaker for me...faith is big for me but that kind of faith dosen't jive for me me...I have a bumpersticker on my fridge actually that says God wants spiritual fruit not religious nuts....
     
  14. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    And I also have to give props to the bad boys out there.

    There's bad and then there's bad. J, a guy I dated briefly between the HS sweetheart and the ex, was a bad boy, complete with a hot red convertible and a girlfriend for every day of the week (I had Thursdays ... just kidding!) But he was also very young -- 24 or 25 at the time, sewing his wild oats and living down to the stereotype that young Black men are supposed to be hypersexual.

    Today he's happily married (for ... 20? years I think,) living with his wife and four kids in a rural town in the Northwest.

    Bad does not necessarily mean bad. Eh.

    My theory? Many men have the potential to be bad... unless you catch them at just the right time. Seen it happen over and over again. The guy's a player and a dog to every woman he meets, until some life circumstances align just right. Then the next girl he meets gets completely different treatment. A man can and often will be a bad boy and a good man in the same body. Depends on the day.

    Just my observations. :cool:
     
  15. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Hey! You could ask first before using my marriage as an example! :p
     
  16. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    Is this a public admission that you're a handful? Just askin' ... :wink: :lol:
     
  17. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Well, I think in other threads about bras I've admitted that I'm much more than a handful. :cool:
     
  18. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

  19. flashdance

    flashdance Active Member

    :lol:

    [​IMG]
     
  20. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    It's all in a spirit of fun, dearie. :cool:

    Have you bought that card yet? ;)
     
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