How in the hell did you get good at this? The reason I ask, is this I have been trying to learn Salsa, Borchata, Merengue in earnestly for well over a year. And I am still a beginner. I can hear you say already well you must practice and dance off course! But how do I even do that when no women at my city wants to dance with a beginner? Did you know the people that you came with? Did you and a group of friends decide that you were going to learn Salsa together? This was my night tonight. I go to the lesson where they will go over the basics again, and right from the get go there is a shortage of women partners available. Finally there are enough partners available and we finally get on with the lesson. After the lesson was over, I stayed at the event for 3 hours and I danced a total of 2 songs the whole night. Why you ask? Because the ratios are extremely skewed, for every female partner that is willing to go to the dance floor, there is anywhere from two to three men patiently waiting for the turn. This is by its own right something that I am intimidated, I don't feel that I am good enough to do this, but I have to get up there and practice, by the time I go and ask the nearest woman for a dance, two or three leads will come and snatch her away. Then there are the cliques, the well established snob dancers that will only dance if you are a top dancer, or if you are part of the in crowd. This is extremely frustrating to say the least because I am trying to become proficient at this, it is something I can tell its something I would enjoy deeply if I were given the chance. But I am very close to quitting, after a year of doing this, latin dancing seems scary instead of fun, it is nothing but disappointment and rejection and this is just outright unfair. I am not asking them to marry, I just want a dance or two. I live in one of the most anti Latino states you can imagine politically speaking wise, and I am Latino. But when I go to a country or swing club, I get treated very well, the ratios aren't as skewed, and a complete stranger there are more then willing to show me the steps. This is sad considering that this is just a country bar vs a venue where they specifically hired an instructor to have lessons, followed by a Latin dance social. In every other venue that I have been too, they seem to be much MUCH infinitely much more newbie friendly then the Latin scene. Hell when I went to my first Swing class, people there knew I was very new and asked ME to dance to get me to pick up. I just don't know how to deal with the snobbish behavior anymore. When I do get the dance I hate the feeling of "oh god I have to have a pity dance with this new idiot now sigh" FYI not that it matters, but I am a fit individual in my late 20s, well dressed and groomed and Id dance with anyone, I am not and older man looking to take advantage of the younger women there. Or anyone with hygiene problems. The only time women approach me is at the bar there, but once I get to the dance floor it all goes to hell. At this point I was considering of going to my local university and enrolling in a salsa and latin dance class, but If I am going to have to deal with uneven ratios, hyper competitive settings, and snobbish behavior, I am starting to think that money could be better spent in western style dancing. I am just tired of seeing the women dancers all in the dance floor, being hoarded by the expert dancers, then you see a sea of men dancers just waiting patiently for their turn. And when one frees up you see them attack the girl like piranhas for their next dance. Honestly, maybe the club should charge a 15.00 to 30.00 cover for the men just to enter and ladies enter free, just to even out things a bit. Id gladly pay it. I hate to say it, but Dancing is supposed to bring my confidence up, it does the exact opposite. I go home feeling depressed instead of having a good time. How do you stop the negative reinforcement and actually get good at this? I am not one to quit, but how do you make this fun again?