Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by lynn, Nov 25, 2005.
You have good reasons to be out of balance. Give yourself a break. Just my thought. :friend:
sheesh ...you people will help me rationalize my way out of anything ...hug, hug, kiss, kiss...(and yes, I know you mean it and am so grateful)
On a separate note, my eggplant turned out o.k. (yay :banana:!!!!) It didn't look too pretty, but hey, at least it's edible!!
P.S. Assembling layers of macaroni + eggplant/tomato + onion/garlic + cheese turned out to be the toughest part!
There's a reason why i don't make lasagna!!
Check out the first recipe I posted for eggplant, Lynn. The parmigiana is definitely time-consuming and not for beginning cooks.
Oh for Pete's sake! If you just want to feel guilty you certainly can. But, from my perspective, a few things are true.
One. I've never seen a man sit around and wonder whether or not he was successfully achieving what he needed to, while balancing the roles of employee and husband (and/or father.) (And oh btw wondering how his thighs looked. :lol: )
And two. I've seen many a relatively poor single mother successfully raise children to adulthood -- children who became happy, well-adjusted doctors or lawyers or other professional people.
And three. I've seen women stress out over the little details, that's true. But the successful, gorgeous, well-put-together women I know stress out only over the big things. They don't sweat the small stuff. (Maybe they read the book :lol: ) Cut yourself some slack, IMO.
Life's too short to waste it worrying.
okay... okay...you've shamed me into a guilt free moment...truly you are right on point number one and point number two....and yes it is a no-no to sweat the small stuff...esp b/c then I'm running around griping at the kids over the condition of the house and it isnt even really like dh cares if I do it or not...as long as he doesnt have to do it he doesnt really care if it gets done...still i like a minimal amt of order...and he would like to be fed and really he works a buttload outside of home more than I do...and well I just wasnt worth a darn, not this week....but since he works so many more hours than I do and I have such a nice life I feel like the least I can do is get some of the basics done...but, I will get over it....(you can take the girl out of the confessional...but... ) like I could spend alot less time with my butt in this computer chair...
True. But fascination is trying to balance the roles of daughter to an ailing mother, wife to a successful/ambitious husband, mother to teens, counselor to dying people and their families, and vital, powerful woman who's coming into the prime of her life. I think a little work on balance may be required here. Maybe a lot.
um...not that this is of any relevence, but i work with several guys who constantly worry about how their certain body parts looked! Not to mention whether or not their pants make them look fat :shock:!!
Your Mom is sick and, despite that, you take care of the kids and all the minutia in their lives, yours and your husbands, and you work. Doesn't that count for anything, to you?
hey dont forget dancer extraordinaire...rising star here I come....:car: (thats actually the REAL problem...but there is a sacrifice I am not willing to make)
no way ...who are these men??????
only part time...and like I said...I'm not doing so well with the minutia....I should be paying the bills right now...or loading the dishwasher or de-frosting something...ore cleaning out the piles of laundry that need to be folded or a thousand other things....and tomorrow...I'll be at the gym or studio not doing any of it either,....and here my nice dh who works a zillion hours a week is taking our boy back to school for me....3 1/2 hour each way...I did work this morning though...but I am not even making enough to cover my habit...so anyhow, I guess I just need to take a vacation and re-evaluate...mom has an appointment tomorrow and I will know more then about whether we can get away for a vacation...
my co-workers!! I remember the last time i got dragged shopping with my 2 co-workers, i had to help them carry their stuff b/c they bought too much clothes!!! I dunno, maybe men nowadays are different??
i hope a vacation will make you relax a little - you certainly deserve one!
I like a man who likes to wear high quality clothing and is interested in staying fit...but anymore attention to detail than that usually points to a little more vanity and control than I like...just me
Same with me, but i do find that guys nowaday pay more than the necessary attention to their "looks" - it just seems to be the trend....
Dancing means sacrifices. That's something we all know here in DF. Many of us have dealt and are still dealing with some ugly consequences of dancing. Money is always a nasty issue (currently my No. 1 problem in life). Balancing dancing with everything else, both time-wise and psychologically, is another.
None of us are willing to sacrifice dancing, which says something about it. We struggle with everything and do some serious task juggling to keep up with everything. Remember that boisterous lady in "Shall we Dance" who had breakdowns every now and then because she worked like crazy to afford dancing, and then she went to practice? She reminded me of myself too much, as well as many other DFers.
We have to try and find balance in our lives. It's not easy. Many people never do or it takes them many years to find it. But isn't that true with life in general? It's all about fragile balance.
I think you're doing a great job so far. :friend:
I don't know whether it's possible to find a point of equilibrium once you've become a mother, because your children instantly become far and away the most important things in your life.
Maybe it's more a question of ranking things in order of priority?
Or maybe that's just me... :?
A former dance teacher of mine used to use the illustration of his pet bird to help me understand the concept of balance as it relates to dance. But I think the same concept applies here, too. He told me that he used to spend time watching his bird stand on the perch (or whatever that thingie that birds stand on is called. :lol: ) The bird, to a casual observer, appeared to be balanced and standing perfectly still. But, if you looked closely, you'd see the bird constantly correcting his balance -- always in motion, even when he was asleep.
I agree with you, Rosa. I think it's impossible to find equilibrium. I think it takes constant motion or corrections (or whatever the emotional equivalent of what birds do) in order to find some balance in our lives. At least that's what I've seen.
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