General Dance Discussion > Silly things non-dancers say

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by twnkltoz, Mar 21, 2012.

  1. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I don't think competing is the norm...and while people have occasionally askedme if I am stillcompeting, I have never had a soul ask eme if I do compete, much less ask if it is/ins't about being goodenough...not sure where youa re finding these sympathy....I can only imagine that it might be because you are in an area where teachers are professionals who do compete...soi get that people are innocently curious...particularly if they don't understand the dynamic/requirements/politcs which you find restrictive/silly/whatever
  2. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I don't think there is a need to cast the worst possible light on it...if they learned zumba first, ballroomIS different from how they were taught cha, and samba and merengue(and they were certainly not informed that there would be a distinction by whomever taught them... they are literally being told that the steps that they are learning are THEE salsa, merengue, cha, etc ...and, admittendly some of that is in fact are trurer to the street versions of those dances than what ballroom folks do...and I have never known a person who does zumba, unless they already have a dance background to think they are professional dancers...while it IS cult-like, I don't think is is too surprising or stupid that they would be surprised to discover that the ballroom version of these things is not what they learned...and, from a fitness perspective, zumba is GREAT...because it feels like fun dance but is also great exercise...that it assualts some ballroom pursits sensibilities, doesn't mean that it doesn't have plenty of value...I know many people who never would have lost weight in a regular fitness class who found zumba to be the perfect solution...and cheaper than ballroom....while I get the cult-like thing and don't drink the cool-aid myself(used to teach it and got tired of that), part of that fervor has to do with the success of it
  3. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    I've written here before about my first experience with zumba a few months ago, and the instructor's very peculiar sense of timing. She was fun and enthusiastic as hell, but... my brain just revolted against that. It kind of had a barber-pole effect on me... it felt like it kept getting faster and faster, even though the music tempo wasn't changing. I'm doing a different class with a different instructor now, and it's been quite fun, although little of it really resembles any Latin dancing I know. (And I've been explaining to some of the students how it isn't a good idea to be doing those pivots on carpet, in sneakers.)
  4. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    "Look, I just want enough to, you know, get through parties and whatever. I don't care how I look. I'm NOT about appearance or showing off- the arms? The... the flash? That's just useless filler..." B*tch, please, your boobs AND your nose are after-market, you made your husband take BACK the new SUV he bought you because it was the wrong color, and now, you're taking dance lessons because you spent two hundred bucks a plate and a thousand dollars on a dress for some fundraiser for dolphins or whatever... don't TELL me you aren't about some appearance. What you MEAN to say is "If I can't knock out and have you graft it onto me so that I wake up miraculously fantastic, I'm not interested."
  5. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    right...yes a mambo in zumba can look like a mambo in rhythm if you want it to...same with a cha chasse or lock...but, you seriously can't go into zumba with serious ballroom have to go into zumba with a a party is not about technique or is about fun and sweat...that being said, it is huge that instructors instruct about getting a proper shoe...or it's welcome to"hotel torn ACL"
  6. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    When I did Zumba in a carpeted room, the instructor taped my shoes so I wouldn't tear anything.
    fascination likes this.
  7. Dancing Irishman

    Dancing Irishman Well-Known Member

    It came from a new dancer, but "Why don't you practice with your partner?" (When I showed up at a studio by myself to practice.

    Well... 1)busy schedules and 2) technique issues are best sorted out solo anyways, so it's win win that our work schedules only let us practice 1-2 hours a week (even though it terrifies me college my partner and I logged around 12 hrs/wk outside of lessons...but quality really suffered with that quantity).
    stash likes this.
  8. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Women ask me all the time "Why don't you dance this with him (their partner), so he can get it right?"

    Uh, because he's your partner, not mine, and if he can't do it right with you, why would he magically be able to do it right with me? A lead's a lead, right or wrong.

    Normally, I go through it about twice with him- the first time, I backlead him and put him in all the right places while we go slowly and stop and start, and I can talk to him about it. The second time, I let him actually lead me.

    If I make a habit of it, though, then the woman wants to just stand around and watch, and I'm "stuck" dancing with her partner. Many times, they hope that if they wait it out long enough, I'll get hemmed up with their dude, and my teaching partner will come along and *Princess them for a couple minutes, correcting their own issues which return immediately after he leaves.

    **Term (Princess): When a male lead effectively leads a female follower through something, large or small, and it makes them happy. From the family of phrases similar to "Oh! I felt just like a princess!" To make a female feel happy, confident, and capable for a duration of time, long or short.
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    don't you think everyone goes throught that phase initially?....where they want to only dance with someone who is better and where they mistakenly think they have improved but haven't? much of the female learning population do you think consciously wants to only be princess?...just sincerely curious....and, didn't you go through this?or did you prefer to only dance with your partner? I know there are also ladies who feel too nervous to dance much with pro when they are new as well...
  10. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    No, I don't think everybody goes through this, and no, I honestly never did (I'd provide references on that, but it's not necessary). Many couples I've spoken with prefer to dance with each other foremostly, and their "short list" of people they'd dance with include their instructors and other teachers if they're asked. For whatever reason, many don't seek whatever others get from that situation, and it's not necessarily always a "bad" thing if somebody actually does, but it's just not an "it can happen to anyone" thing. I sometimes think that in certain situations it's either encouraged (from a pro-am selling angle) or maybe just casually dismissed (from a whatever, it's a warm body in class angle) so it's much more noticeable, but sometimes people taking dance lessons actually want to dance with their partner, as opposed to just wanting to dance, and that said partner happens to be a prop or a means to an end for them.

    What bothers me are class advertisements stating "Your teacher will be your dance partner!" instead of "If you don't have a partner, your teacher will partner with you", because it makes me wonder if they subscribe to that divide-and-conquer-to-double practice I see happening in places around me. If I arrive with a partner, will I not be able to dance with them? I realize not everybody comes already partnered up, but that's no reason to make those who have found and can successfully keep partners uncomfortable, either. A gentleman came to the studio and took lessons for a year or so by himself, and one day had kind of a meltdown about his epiphany- he and his wife wanted to learn to dance together, so they showed up at a class somewhere else together. The leaders in the class were shown their work once or twice, then left to fend for themselves. The followers basically were too, except for one or two women- one was his wife. They were shown preferential treatment, eventually the women decided they wanted to take private lessons, where the husband was ignored and they were groomed to compete and perform. This guy figured this out, felt completely at a loss, and quit taking lessons at that place. The wife still takes there, because she gets what she really wanted out of dancing in the first place, but her husband couldn't provide that for her. Many men in his situation would quit taking lessons, but he's continued to improve and is a really good dancer now, while his wife is still working on routines and competing, but gets angry and frustrated when she "can't dance with other guys"- so she avoids social dancing now, unless her teacher is there and can "Princess her".

    I came to classes with my partner to dance with that partner. If the instructor danced with me to get me over a trouble spot (or with my partner, whichever), I didn't mind, but that wasn't my focus. I honestly don't dedicate much of my time thinking about what other females want to feel like, so I don't know how many of them want Princess or not, but it does feel like it's in the 50+ category for the most part of what we see in our classes. That's likely biased, since most people dancing in our area are 50+ anyway.

    Sometimes, it can be frustrating, how Ballroom dancing's business angle seems to cater to exploiting various self-esteem insecurities in particular demographics, and I try very, very hard NOT to propagate that kind of mentality. I'm sorry if my perspective hits anybody's nerves- in ballroom, this could be quite a few people's. I'm not intentionally trying to hurt anybody's feelings, but this is a big enough problem that I'm not the only person who's noticed it, even if I'm the only one to try to stumble through my explanation of it. I'm just one of those people who sees something that doesn't make sense to me, I ask about it, and if it doesn't feel right, I feel compelled to say so, even if it makes me That Person. I feel bad for people who want to try something that looks enjoyable and get taken advantage of, even if it feels "victimless" because both parties "benefit" somehow from it. Of note, I did not say "Princess" was a pejorative term. It was simply a descriptive one, same as anyone would use "Sparkle".

    And this is also quite off-topic, so... yielding the floor now.
  11. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    thanks...I was just curious...because it sounds a bit pergorative, as if you have had more than enough of it and as if they are all silly, unlike you...and while I do think that many studios do divide couples..I think some honestly believe in their approach.... while, for others, it is about getting twice the dough...and I do think the outcome is often unfortunate...and I certainly think that there are plenty of princesses inside and outside of dance studios and that there is a natural progression which includes some of what you described, just not always due to the worst of those characterizations...just curious... not making a judgement about you other than noting your high degree of exasperation on a fairly regular basis, and wondering if it is always from as bleak a reality as you percieve...
  12. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Not had so much as seen. And I think I probably have scored more than a few points in the silly category as well. It's very easy to forget how literally people take written opinion, too, so I don't always come off quite unbiased at times in my posting.
  13. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Exactly- there IS a difference. There are women who phrase it "Something isn't feeling right, but I don't know how to describe it yet. It's when such and such happens, though..." and inevitably leads to some test-driving and trouble-shooting. I also often dance with the ladies too, so I can see if it's something they're doing.

    I still do have on occasion "I just can't get anything out of him. It's SO much easier to dance with somebody who knows what they're doing!" while the poor guy is standing there like "Uh...?" The biggest propagators of this have since stopped taking lessons, and now haunt the social circuit trying to snag someone more worthy.
  14. RiseNFall

    RiseNFall Well-Known Member

    A friend's reaction when I told her I was going to compete for the first time was priceless. "What??!! Like in DWTS? Is he going to twirl you around in the air and toss you between his legs????" Reality was so much tamer than her imagination…..
    Dancing Irishman likes this.
  15. Signature

    Signature Member

    Non dancer: "Are you a dance instructor." (and other variations)

    I started getting asked this after I'd been taking lessons for a year, and so have a lot of my friends. It makes sense, once you understand what's going on.

    Non dancers can't recognize the difference between a dancer who has a year's worth of classes/practice and a professional dancer. As we begin taking lessons, we get better at dancing ... but we also get better at telling the difference between good dancing and poor dancing.

    This is true for most skills.


    Woman: "Would you dance with me sometime this evening? I would really love to dance with you."

    Me: "Sure. What styles do you dance?"

    Woman: "I don't know any styles. But you could teach me!"

    Me: (long pause) "Okaaay. I'll come grab you when they play a polka or a merengue."

    If I can't teach a woman how to do the basics in 30 seconds or less, I'm not going to waste any more of my evening teaching/dancing with her. I'm out dancing to have fun. Not to ensure that random women have a terrific evening.
    Generalist, IndyLady and twnkltoz like this.
  16. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    Doing the online dating thing, every once in a while I'll be talking to a guy and he'll suggest I teach him to dance. Um, no, unless you want to schedule a private through my studio and pay for it!
    Sania and Lilly_of_the_valley like this.
  17. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    I know. It's a little bit like: "Oh, you're in finance? Maybe one night you can teach me how to make a million dollars day-trading commodities futures!"
    Sania, IndyLady and twnkltoz like this.
  18. Generalist

    Generalist Active Member

    ROFL! I have this conversation with newbie ladies at least once every evening I go to the ballroom. I usually tell them that I don't know how to teach the lady's part but they often don't believe me. I tell them I'll teach them when the music is rumba or merengue. I sometimes relent but usually only if the lady is young, cute, wearing extreme high heels, and has a sexy dress on.
  19. anntennis

    anntennis Active Member

    "Why do you need more lessons? You took so many you could teach yourself! Why waste any more money on lessons?
    Just go and dance and meet new people. So what if they do not dance like you? Who cares?!!"

    PS. I have a huge trouble explaining that all the lessons I took – is not enough! LOL.
  20. sbrnsmith

    sbrnsmith Well-Known Member

    'Will be starting dance lessons once a week and probably will be as good as the pro in a couple of months'.... This from a guy who does triathlons, as a consequence thinks will be good at anything he tries including dance, just because he's an athlete

    'All male dancers especially the pros are gay'....enough said

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