Small Gifts from Students and Reciprocating

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by DanceMentor, Nov 17, 2013.

  1. DanceMentor

    DanceMentor Administrator

    Ok, so I've been at a new studio where giving gifts is very common place. Some examples include food items like fruit, vegetables, cookies and drinks, plus a nice pen and a sports towel. Obviously, these are small gifts and I appreciate it. Besides teaching a good lesson, would you feel the need to give little gifts back?

    What do you think about gifts in general?
     
    chomsky likes this.
  2. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    mine doesn't and I don't think any of us expect otherwise....my previous pro, because he was talented in that way, would sometimes make things for his competitive students, because there were only a few of us
     
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  3. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    I would feel like I should do something, but honestly, times are tough, and if I got into that habit, I'd just be broke. It's very kind of them to do that, but as mentioned, the best I can do is be a good teacher for them, and occasionally let them into a party or event au gratis, have a little extra time on private lessons, etc.
     
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  4. chomsky

    chomsky Well-Known Member

    No studio involved here so we socialize a lot and exchange gifts and just share like a family would. And not everyone is like us in Greece but we are lucky to be.
     
  5. sbrnsmith

    sbrnsmith Well-Known Member

    Have never received a gift from my teacher and don't expect one either.
     
    IndyLady likes this.
  6. Dancing Irishman

    Dancing Irishman Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I think your sincere gratitude at receiving a gift is the best reciprocation you can offer. I always love seeing the smile on the recipient's face more than any gift I've gotten in return.
     
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  7. raindance

    raindance Active Member

    If you want to do anything at all, a little thank you card might be nice. But genuine thanks in person is probably plenty.
     
  8. dancelvr

    dancelvr Well-Known Member

    I once gifted my DP with some pretty cufflinks that belonged to my father. But, that was sort of a one-off thing. I do give a gift at Christmas every year. However, DP has started a fun little practice for all his competitive ladies. About two years ago, he gave each of us a charm bracelet. Now, at each competition, he gives a charm representing that comp. (A little Eifel Tower for Vegas at the Paris Hotel, a grizzly bear for Vancouver BC, a rose for Portland....etc.) Very sweet. :)
     
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  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

  10. smidra86

    smidra86 Active Member

    At my studio, we dont feel lime we should be giving gifts back, we give gifts for the little things, anniversaries, birthdays, purchased something from the studio, wishing luck at a competition, little things like that, but not because they brought us something. Our students tend to make us food, bring us food, and if they know our birthdays, cards/little gift cards. They legally cant give us anything that is worth more than thr price of a lesson, because we have to be able to give something of equal value because its like they bought something from us
     
  11. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    I try to give my dance teachers things like cookies at Christmas because that's just what we've always done for people like my riding trainer, private music instructors, that sort of thing. I don't expect anything in return.
     
  12. JudeMorrigan

    JudeMorrigan Well-Known Member

    Since she likes to bake as well, my pro is one of my favorite guinea pigs people to make baked goods for. Reciprocation is never required. It's become somewhat traditional for each of us to bake the other a birthday cake, but I consider that a measure of friendship on her part rather than part of our instructor-student relationship. And even then, well, my birthday overlaps with USDC most years. Suffice it to say, it's also become traditional for me to tell her something along the lines of "if you'd like to bake me a cake, that's awesome, but the week *after* my birthday will be more than fine. You have other things to worry about this coming week!" :)
     
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  13. suburbaknght

    suburbaknght Well-Known Member

    I don't give back but I always write my students a thank you card.
     
    latingal likes this.
  14. slhull.13

    slhull.13 Active Member

    Cookies/baked goods sound like a great idea...
    Does anyone have a suggestion for an appropriate Christmas gift for your coach?
     
  15. JudeMorrigan

    JudeMorrigan Well-Known Member

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  16. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I would never expect anything in return, that being said, I cherished that my former pro did take the time and energy to make things for me as we did go out of our way for him... and since he wasn't one to verbalize, it was a gesture that I appreciated which sustained me...and with both my past and present pro, a note with any kind word would mean far more than a gift...but I don't see it happening...and I can see how all of that is fraught with complexity as some folks compare...and heaven forbid one student should get a note and someone else ever once didn't get one....perish the thought...yada yada
     
  17. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    you'd be surprised...
     
  18. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    It's always going to depend on the nature of the relationship of the student and instructor, but in general - I don't think an instructor should feel beholden to reciprocate. Given that, the gift giver might not feel the same way as I do. LOL.

    However, if a teacher does choose to reciprocate, it might be wise to take whatever necessary precautions so as not to look "unfair" to the rest of the student body.

    Small gifts are good, home made (baked goods etc) is usually a good solution if possible. I try not to make the recipient feel guilty if they did not reciprocate.
     
  19. llamasarefuzzy

    llamasarefuzzy Well-Known Member

    My studio sends me a card every year on the anniversary I started taking lessons there. It is a really nice, and appreciated gesture. This is the first time I'll be around my studio during the holidays taking lessons, so I suspect that they will receive some baked goods :)
     
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  20. sbrnsmith

    sbrnsmith Well-Known Member

    My pro does not express his thanks by wirting notes or giving gifts back. I don't expect either as I know him by now and know that won't happen. I appreciate that he doesn't reciprocate because it simplifies everything and I don't have to expect anything in return. What I give him is just a token of my appreciation for the time and effort he spends on my dancing.
     

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