Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by freeageless, Mar 28, 2011.
competitions are expensive and non-refundable in most cases, I'd wait...
So sorry Wannabee. I do know of students that fly to get instruction, but that would be more of the ProAm and wealth thread! I hope he can clarify his pricing structure when you have the conversation. I do know of pros that travel to other states to teach if there is a group of students in that state to make it worthwhile. If your current pro's explanation does not work for you and there are other students looking for instruction you might be able to negotiate with a pro in another city, even if it is a neighboring state.
I think it is worth talking to him when you are ready. And you don't have to make your final decision about how to react during the conversation either. You can bring up how you're feeling and what questions you have, and ask for his response. If you like his response, great. If not, you can tell him you need to think about it some more and leave it at that for the moment.
Also - you are assuming that what other students have told you about the rates they are being charged is correct. It may be correct. But there is at least a chance that one or more of the other students is being less than completely forthcoming for a variety of reasons. (For instance, I can imagine situations where it is the other students that wish someone in particular would drop a teacher. Not saying that it is the case here, just that it is a possibility. Or that the other student might just want to be able to claim that they're special, or might not like admitting how much they are actually spending on dance in front of their spouse, or whatever.) At some point I think you need to go to the source (your pro) and find out what the real story is. Then you can figure out how to deal with that reality. I'm still hoping this is some sort of misunderstanding or a decision that wasn't thought out thoroughly by your pro, and that you two can work it out.
Jumping in- I enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts and opinions. My own thought is that I would be upset to if I was being charged more. It really sucks that there are no good options within a reasonable distance to you Wannabee. I also drive about 80 miles one way for lessons, and its hard when you invest so much of your time and energy and money. Can he charge whatever he wants to? Sure and he has that prerogative. But it doesn't seem right to me, and no one is begrudging him an ability to earn a living. But it's also your money. I hope you are able to talk to him and get a resolution. Good luck!
Thanks everyone for all the replies. I've been reading and re-reading them. And I've come to the conclusion that my feelings about this are likely to be similar to most of you, if the situation were reversed. So at least I feel a little more justified in being upset.
I will have the conversation but I'm not sure when. It will most likely be after the comp next month. I have felt a little frustrated with my pro during lessons lately due to the situation, but it has actually been very good for my dancing lol. I find myself focusing even more and trying so hard to dance my best. It gives me a weird sense of accomplishment if I can go longer between corrections. This whole thing has made me über-focused.
I'll post back once we hash it all out, probably in about a month. Thanks again everyone. It is sweet of you all to help me.
Update Wannabee? It looks like you are still dancing!
Hi debmc. Thanks for checking in. I just returned from the comp yesterday. I had always intended to wait until after this particular comp to speak to my pro about this situation, and we just wrapped up our dancing there yesterday so I haven't asked him about it yet.
And I am in still dancing. In fact, I had one of the best comps I've ever had this weekend. So I'm not sure what, if anything, that means or whether it will have any bearing on what I decide to do. He definitely did his best to prepare me for the comp and he gave me 110%. That has never been the problem. But in light of my recent results, I feel less inclined to kick him to the curb so to speak.
I will let the dust settle a bit from our trip and then see what he has to say about everything. Question for DFers though...would you let favorable comp results weigh on your decision about how to handle this? If so, to what degree?
I watched you dance this week and thought you performed well. Plus you beat out someone with the financial resources to take lots of lessons and has done so. I'm talking multiple lessons each week.
I think only you can decide if your competition results make any difference. How much was your hard work practicing and how much your instruction?
First question you should ask is whether you feel you're getting good value for your money. If not, then quit. But if you are, then weigh in other factors.
Remember too that a pro having a student that is doing well helps his market value too. He should value that competing with you will be good for his name and visibility and it would be in his benefit to keep you as a student.
I think good results in competition do make a difference. It's your hard work AND his. If you feel in your heart that it is worth it, then continue. The head versus the heart is always a tough battle.
the glow will fade...having the conversation doesn't have to be unpleasant...the issue really has nothing to do with the comp...and I would have the talk while your stock is high
exceptionally excellent point
this one too!!
All of these are exceptionally excellent points, to quote Mr. 4 styles. I will be initiating the conversation very soon. I'll post back soon, hopefully with good news. Snapdancer, I hate to think that someone on DF has actually seen me dance . I'm still definitely a bronze dancer, but I'm making progress lol.
Yes, that glow will fade LOL, but it does hang around for a while and I can think of no good reason for you to not totally enjoy the glow and when it is gone have the conversation.
In deciding on a pro do I consider how well the pro has helped me to prepare for a comp... Absolutley!
And while I usually agree with Fasc, but not this time...
The conversation should be when one is not high on a great week-end, but a more logical grounded financial long term decision.
Thanks JANATHOME. I just now came back to post updates about how my conversation went with my pro. I did not see your posts until just now, and the conversation has already been had. Had I seen your posts, I might have been persuaded to wait. I'm pretty sure I was always looking for an excuse to postpone having the talk at all.
But I can emphatically say, I am sooooo glad to have this behind me. I talked to pro about the whole situation and we are both better for it. I cannot tell all of you how happy I am to report this news. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It makes me sorry that I didn't have this conversation before now, though I'm sure it all worked out as it should have.
I had the opportunity to explain things from my perspective and my pro was able to explain his reasonings and rationale from his. In the end, I was reassured that his rates will be applied to everyone in the same fashion, but at various times as lesson blocks come due, once other previous agreements and such have been fufilled, etc.
My faith in his professionalism and fairness has been fully restored and I'm sorry I waited so long to discuss this with him. It was straight-forward, not at all unpleasant, and I am looking forward to moving on and hopefully having many more comps like the one I just had.
Thank you to everyone on here for your advice and support. I thought of you all often during this whole thing and I borrowed some of your words and ideas as I made my points to my pro. I can't thank you enough.
so glad to hear it I know my pro likes and respects yours and I'm happy to hear it isn't unfounded.
Happy for you and hope it all works out... And here's to many more hours of dancing!
This does make sense to me...
The pro cannot change previous commitments but over time it will all equal out.
I was so glad that DebMC asked how you were doing , and I am very happy for you that you have reached a place you are comfortable with. Thats all that matters.
Separate names with a comma.