Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by rbazsz, Oct 20, 2011.
LC...please take your new concerns to the dating thread...this has already gone too far afield....
my thought as well
take it to the dating thread
What happened to my posts?! Where they moved or deleted? I spent a long time composing those.
And I always say things best the first time it seems. When I try to re-address thoughts they don't come out how I want.
enough....re-type them if they are that important...in the dating thread ....or drop it..that is a moderator note....
Which is where? I was luckily able to recover 2 of the 3 by hitting the back button quite a few times on my browser.
I think it's in General Discussion. IE non-dance-related forum.
DF is the first internet forum I have ever read. I assume that "calling BS" means you disagree with my post? Part of me hopes you are right and I am wrong but I think that's mostly because I don't have much of a career, house, car, 401K, etc.
let's take any continuation of that content to dating as well
just wanted to say i discovered this thread late...
.... and it took me 3 days to get through it.... and...
LOL, TD, I've been reading this with amazement myself.
Although, I have also wondered why prowess on the dance floor does not seem to lead to any dating prospects (not necessarily talking about bedding them) since there is this urban myth about how "girls LOVE guys who can dance." I've seen only a few couples that ever formed at dance venues...(especially in ballroom--the percentage is higher in Lindy Hop and Salsa circles, at least in my observations)
It's been pretty entertaining, right? Good for you for actually reading the whole thread rather than just jumping in and posting, as many do.
I'm afraid that while dancing well is an attractor, I would imagine that for most ladies it is pretty far down the list of important attractors, like looks, hygiene, personality, reliability, etc.
I tend to meet people through dancing, but I wouldn't choose according to dancing ability. I dated someone who was a really poor dancer.. completely oblivious as well, he thought he was doing all right, but he couldn't do a basic salsa step correctly or on time.. But he approached me and started talking to me and getting to know me, and he asked me out. He was sweet and respectful and not a serial dater, he had a good job and lived away from the city so he didn't have some of the same attitudes I'm used to.. chemistry wasn't there, as it turned out, but I've had a lot of chemistry with other dancers who were totally wrong for me in every other way. As a girl, looking at the guys in my social dance scene, how they treat women seems to be inversely related to how well they dance.
All the men I met in a ballroom studio were flirtatious but respectful and in some cases too shy.. or often married. And they were all much older than I wanted to go.
I do think dancing ability has an influence on how attractive someone is to others. A good dancer gives off an air of confidence and of being comfortable in his own skin. They feel more relaxed in interactions with the opposite sex and can be charming. Men who are beginning to learn to dance can give off the opposite impression, they can seem shy and awkward and nervous. I think it can be deceiving, because just having confidence doesn't mean you have a lot of positive qualities necessarily, but I know when someone seems to like who he is, I get the sense I'm going to like who he is, too. Its packaging, and you still might end up not liking what's inside the package, but it gets you interested enough to find out. A nervous guy kind of gives me the impression that if I approached him or talked to him he might get more nervous, conversation would go nowhere.. he wouldn't know what to do on a date, etc.
It's not an urban myth....girls do love guys who can dance. But not if the dancing is literally the only thing the guy has going for him. Put it this way, a guy being a good dancer could help seal the deal, and be icing on the cake, but it's not the cake itself. :tongue:
Exactly! And some of the guys who take up dancing strictly because they've heard "chicks dig guys who can dance", well...if they do manage to learn how that IS all they have going for them, otherwise they wouldn't be looking for some way that's guaranteed.
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