Taking Ballroom to the Bedroom

I agree with this 100%

Its that bad boys are having sex and short flings with women, and nice guys are marrying them. Recognize.

I've got to ask, LC, do any of these statistics, and scientific studies, help you in your quest? Or do they "explain" why a "nice guy" may as well just give up until he's middle-aged?

IDK, sometimes I think if I can understand what goes on in the dating game I can somehow bend the unfortunate rules in my favor...but no it probably doesn't help because no matter how I look at it, it always seems to come down to the fact that I have to act, lol. So I guess it is just a reason to be angry with the world and blame others or an excuse to feel sorry for myself because it's destiny or something, idk...

I have noted, in myself, and in others around me, that there can be a tendency to find reasons not to act. The real reason is fear, but we justify our inability to act with various "logical" reasons. The first step to changing things in our favor is to recognize the real reasons for our actions or lack thereof.

Worst question ever: "What are you thinking?"

i love you.

i dont know why i am going to bother having a go at this but....

have you ever considered that perhaps the large majority of women (dancer or otherwise) are NOT seeking CASUAL sex?????

Also, google heartlessbitches "nice guy" to see an essay on what those "nice guys" often are doing that is really putting women off.

i didn't google this (as yet), but you bring up a good point... "nice guys" can be evil incarnate, just hidden under a cotton-candy, clueless, not-having-questioned-why-he-should-cut-his-momma's-apron's-strings-yet exterior, if they don't know how to be responsibly honest & pro-active in their relationships & emotions.

for my part, i in no way support the nice guy/bad guy paradigm. "bad guys" may be the most honest, authentic men to come a woman's way in her entire lifetime.

my suggestion is...get rid of those polarizing stereotypes.

Yes. The only real bad boy boyfriend I ever had is the only one with whom I'm still close friends. We exchange pictures of our kids. We talk often. He's happily married for (i think?) fifteen years now, with a nice, loving wife and four daughters.

The thing that enabled me to be his friend, after he broke my heart and left with with baggage is that he is the first man in my life who was ever straight up honest about who and what he was. He was straight with me, bad boy or no. Honest works.

A little harsh, don't you think? I was just sharing my observations by the way--I did not start taking dance instruction because "chicks dig guys who can dance"--and I seriously doubt anyone would spend thousands of dollars over multiple years on private instruction with the motivation you ascribe them. We are not talking 6 weeks of salsa instruction, so that you can pick up girls at the salsa club here. Oh, also, I was actually hit on by (drunk) ladies at salsa venues, never at ballroom events. I am pretty sure I could have taken those girls to the bedroom if I had so chosen--but I am not into one-night stands with drunk girls, but maybe that's just me...

No, not especially. If you haven't met those guys, you're moving in incredibly refined circles. Every studio has them, but rarely for very long.

I finally went to that web site. I think I'm in love.

That comment made me read it too...it's good. It's true.

(And possibly needs to be shared over in dating-thread land if it hasn't been already...)

I ran across an article recently that explained the difference between being nice and being kind. Kindess is a genuine desire to treat people with the utmost respect without expecting anything in return. Being nice is treating people in the way that earns you favor or allows you to save face.

I think this explains why nice people get a bad rap. They are too obviously aiming to please. You can sense that they wish they didn't have to put forth so much effort.

There are too many nice people in the ballrooms.

I don't think that "nice" is a bad thing...not is it as clear-cut as what WW says.

Nice can mean genuinely kind-hearted, pleasant, fun, etc.

Nice, said in place of a stronger, more specific adjective can mean "Nice...but not really that great."

All depends on how it's said.