Ballroom Dance > Underturning in Viennese Waltz

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by Tenehill, Dec 12, 2007.

  1. Josh

    Josh Active Member

    CC, you're allowing yourself to take on the role of victim, and you seem to be feeling quite sorry for yourself. When you begin to do that, it gets you down, and puts you in a very powerless frame of mind. Ultimately, IME, there is only one way out of this, and that is to take responsibility for what YOU caused. It may sound harsh, but please ask yourself:

    • Is it possible that I was just too physical, and it became very uncomfortable for the lady?
    • Is it possible that the lady wanted to talk to me about it, but I was unavailable to talk about it, from her perspective (emotionally disconnected, previous attempts went unanswered, etc)?
    • What was it that could possibly cause others to laugh uncontrollably?
    • Did I just perceive that the laughter was directed at me and that it was uncontrollable?
    • If it really was, and the "mob" was just a bunch of bullys, then what about my demeanor, posture, or overall 'look' gave them the idea that it was okay to do this?
    Maybe she was a total *****, and you just had a class full of jerks. It's very possible. But even if that's so, what could YOU have done to proactively take responsibility for changing the situation, and could it have turned out differently?

    Again, I'm not trying to blame. But sometimes when bad things happen, we put on our victim costume and start to feel sorry for ourselves. That doesn't help us, or anyone else. Powerful people understand that they shape their own experience, and victims feel that life happens to them.
  2. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    is it noon yet?
  3. pruthe

    pruthe Member

    5 minutes to noon. Think I'll move to Shoot Me Now thread.
  4. DennisBeach

    DennisBeach New Member

    One key in my opinion is adjusting to the lady's movements. Let her move the way she moves and adjust your movement to make the dance work. When I dance smooth mixers the step distance of the ladies varies significantly. I try to adjust my movement so we can dance effectively, whether the lady takes small steps or nice long steps.

    I think that is one of the reasons, numerous people said they can dance best with the teacher. Teachers are frequently very good at leading and adjusting to their partner. One teacher that frequently comes to dances, makes every lady look good and they all love dancing with him. He never pushes, pulls, but he gets the best out of each partner.
  5. contracheck

    contracheck New Member

    This is exactly what Mr. D was telling us at the workshop. Let the woman lead. Man is merely a GPS busy recalculating the distance and direction depending on her move, good or bad. One renowned coach had already told us that the woman is not a follower but an equal participant, then Mr D was telling us that the woman is the leader (not even an equal participant) and man just let her do whatever she she wants to do. Do you see the pathetic trend? Soon, we the men will become nothing but slaves. Doesn't this worry you?
  6. contracheck

    contracheck New Member

    What happens at noon? End of the world?
  7. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I never drink before noon....somewhere
  8. contracheck

    contracheck New Member

    What do you plan to do at Shoot Me Now thread when you move there? Shoot me more? It's against Geneva Convention to shoot a fallen man.
  9. contracheck

    contracheck New Member

    It looks like that, in this case, you have more than usual urge for a drink. Why? Is someone givingyou hard time? Is someone constantly under turning in VW?
  10. JoepiE

    JoepiE New Member

    Hey CC

    First of all, IMO dancing should NEVER be something to get so frustrated as you obviously are about.

    Please take my advise on this: If something doesn't work, getting frustrated will NEVER EVER make it easier.

    Your (re)actions are understandable, but way out of bounds. For your own good, get your act together. Let that VW be for a couple of weeks and get back to it with fresh energy.

    Take a chill-pill :D
  11. contracheck

    contracheck New Member

    This is the problem with a person who settles nothing less than perfection. Perfect dancing, perfect woman, perfect shirt, etc. Can't help it; born in that way.
  12. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    :cool:actually, the VW is my best dance
  13. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    So not mine. The pieces are still a jumble for me, but have figured out it requires some hip flexor & quad remediation to fix. Workin' on it...
  14. pruthe

    pruthe Member

    No, I think I'll shoot myself.
  15. elisedance

    elisedance New Member

    Interesting philosophical question:
    Should I wish you are a good shot or a bad shot? Assuming, that is, I am within earshot, for want of a better word.... :cool:
  16. pruthe

    pruthe Member

    I was thinking I'd rather do this instead of drag/pull woman I'm leading. Don't worry. I think I'm starting to chicken out. :)
  17. BallandChange

    BallandChange Member

    I understand your frustration but I wouldn't classify this as a female problem. I don't dance Intl VW with social partners for this reason. The more common problems that I have seen is that the person stepping forward (the aggressor) tries to step around their partner versus stepping straight forward or the couple isn't positioned correctly (they are not on there respective sides). I have also seen professionals do heel turns on their backward step so as to shorten the distance their partner needs to travel and help their partner make the full turn. You can also do American Style VW, if the music permits, since you can do open patterns and avoid the need to have you partner consistently do right and/or left turns.
  18. Josh

    Josh Active Member

    You can help anything you want to help, if you want to help it bad enough.
  19. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    Welcome to DF BallandChange!
  20. elisedance

    elisedance New Member

    BallandChange - welcome to DF! I find you're avatar familiar - did I see it on another site - maybe I think there are a lot of people here who are registered on both sites (FBOW - for better or worse!)

    I have not see that - wouldn't that be too short a stride - or do they do that somewhere special like going into a fleckerol (still can't spell that!)

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