Wedding Gift Ideas for couples age 35+

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by ChaChaMama, May 3, 2012.

  1. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    This was told to me... and I DON'T really like the idea of it... BUT Bed Bath and Beyond is apparently where one really should register.

    Because they give your guests a 10% discount on the purchase made from your registry. When you receive the gift you return it... and get CASH at FULL value. So for people that want to maximize their cash gifts... they are registering like crazy at BBB with the intent to return the item for cash. Saves your guest a bit of money and helps you get the cash you really want.

    Again... I don't like this idea, it seems a little dishonest to me, I myself would never do it. But it is all the rage right now.
  2. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    I am so lucky he and I have the same sense of humor!
  3. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Or pitchers. Even HAVING a registry may not save you. My friend got something like nine glass pitchers and three silver.

    That wasn't even the weirdest one. She also got an urn. No, seriously. Big silver urn. It happened to arrive the day my best friend and I arrived (the bridesmaids) and the bride opened it when we all got to her house, and we were...well... o_O is a good emulation of our facial expressions. (I think it's STILL in her ex-in-laws' attic. Neither she nor her now-ex husband wanted it. I mean, what do you DO with a big silver urn?)
  4. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Keep it until you get divorced and put your ex's ashes in it. What else?


    btw, When my sisters got married, the non-registry, nobody really wanted it, hot item of the day was chip and dip sets. Really.

    When I got married, it was wine glasses, which I have to be honest and say I used. the ex comes from a culture in which entertaining is everything, so we used many, many wine glasses.
  5. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Incidentally, my very favorite wedding gift, back in the day before the sun rose, was the set of Le Creuset pots my Mom gave me. This was years ago, so she got them for something in the neighborhood of $400. This is the BEST gift I ever got, bar none. Of course, I do enjoy cooking, but still. Freaking awesome quality gift of something I already had, but would never splurge to buy the good stuff for myself . I can see good quality knives in the same way. These are things that are wedding-ish, and that last a lifetime.

    The set Mom gave me would probably go for about $1200 - maybe $1500, now, but still. I wouldn't underestimate the value of going for a gift of something they already have, but "need" an upgrade.

    I'll quote my late father-in-law, "Buy quality. That way, when you buy, you buy to supplement. You don't have to buy to replace."
  6. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    My go to wedding gift is a Target gift card. It's just as useful as a WalMart gift card, but classier. :)

    For my sisters, I just kind of kept an ear out for them to mention something.

    I do like the idea of something towards the honeymoon. Something that can maybe be more of a splurge than they had planned on. Or maybe a weekend trip to a B&B for their first anniversary. Shows that you think they'll make it that long. :)
  7. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I will unabashedly raise my hand and say that I would have loved to have been given pitchers as a wedding gift! (I have something of a pitcher obsession. I have...counting...4 large ones and 8 small/medium ones. Love pitchers.)

    While I don't like the idea of contributing directly to someone's honeymoon (not looking to stir things up, just don't care for it), I do like the idea of maybe getting them something they can do on their honeymoon. A scenic helicopter ride, which maybe they wouldn't spend the money on. A gift card and reservation (check things out first) to a really great restaurant. An excursion that they couldn't/wouldn't afford otherwise.
  8. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    Do you mean because they can't get married? But they can! In some states, it is legal. In many others, there are at least civil unions, and civil unions ceremonies are weddings as far as I'm concerned.

    The hotel Child and I just stayed at in Jersey City actively promotes itself as a place where you could reserve an LGBT wedding room block:

    http://www.hilton.com/en/hotels/content/EWRWTDT/media/pdf/GLBT-Marriages.pdf

    I personally am highly in favor, as this doubles my chances of getting to be a bridesmaid. ;)
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Legal or not, a lot of my LGBT friends have been ostrasized (sp?) or ignored when they got married.

    Gay people deserve china and crystal, too. So do long-term singles, in my VERY HUMBLE view.
  10. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    *facepalm*. Yep. Commitment is commitment, IMO.

    As an aside...I am just trying to wrap my head around ostracizing my bi/gay (don't ask) girl friends. I see them, with their relationships, and I just see so much boring normality (like DH and me). Two people, dealing with the b.s. that life throws you, as best you can. Family drama, aging parents, stress from work, making time for friends and family and each other. For the life of me I can't figure out what is so damn "special" about them that anyone would give a particular fig about them Shrug. (And, yes. I know why I really strenuously DO care about them.)
  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Oh fine. Show off the fact that you know how to spell ostracize while I was too lazy to spell check!! :lol: This is why I love you ... not. :wink: :lol:

    Myeh. Whatever. On the LGBT thing, the two couples I know that are the most stable and long-lasting (other than my parents -- coming up on 64 years!!!) are both gay couples.

    On the gifts for people who already have a house question, I'd have to say that, in the unlikely event that I were to marry the beau, the greatest gift anyone could give me would be their presence at my *second* wedding, especially if they came to my first. Who cares about stuff? Yes. I know. I want to give people stuff; it gives me joy. That's why I let people give me stuff; I know it gives them joy. But MY truth is that the best thing I can give is me, and the best thing I have ever received is the people who love me.

    Myeh. Macys. Schmacys.
  12. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Actually, blame auto-correct. I spelled it with an "ise" at the end, because that looks right to me. (I blame lots of time reading James Herriot and other British authors when I was young for the fact that I often can't separate out the correct U.S. spelling of things. Often, the British version just looks more correct to me. Anything ending in "ise"/"ize", for example.)
  13. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    So I glanced through the thread...has anyone actually asked the B&G whether they want gifts? I know if I ever got married, I already have everything we'd need, and I'm sure my prospective wife would too, so the last thing we'd need is more stuff. Maybe they'd rather have guests contribute to a favorite charity or something.
  14. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Weddings are like funerals, Joe. They're not actually about the people they're supposed to be about. :rolleyes:



    Just kidding, mostly!


    In my culture, gift-giving is a ritual. It's just the done thing, as is profuse thanks, whether or not you actually want the gift. Just sayin. :wink:
  15. skwiggy

    skwiggy Well-Known Member

    In my experience, they were the only store that refunded with cash, which was awesome, but it was not the full value. They had in their computer the actual price paid taking into account coupons used, and that was the refunded amount. Still pretty sweet though, and nothing dishonest about it. :)
  16. skwiggy

    skwiggy Well-Known Member

    I have been to weddings where couples who did not want gifts indicated in their invitation their preference for charitable contribution, including a suggestion for their favorite charity. So if this is what they want, it is incumbent upon them to tell their guests.

    I also went to a wedding where on their wedding web site which had info about the event and linked to their various registries, there was also a button for donation to their house fund. Basically, they were saving for a new house, and what they really wanted was money towards that and wanted to both let people know and make people feel comfortable about contributing to it. It made it easy to both know and give them what they really wanted and needed.

    I have also seen a honeymoon registry, where the couple can add those special events for things to do on their honeymoon and you could buy them things like a special dinner, spa package, etc.

    There are certainly plenty of ways for couples to indicate to their guests what they REALLY want as gifts. And since many don't and then just complain about getting a bunch of gifts they don't need or want, then I figure everyone likes cash. ;) As a previous poster mentioned, if you feel that's too impersonal then put the cash in a really nice card with a very personal note.

    Especially if the couple is older and well established, then they are more likely to be paying for some or all of the wedding themselves. And weddings are expensive, as are honeymoons.

    And dealing with planning a wedding, planning a honeymoon, writing thank you notes, etc is a huge undertaking, and having to tack on a million extra trips to the store to return a bunch of stuff is a bigger hassle than it seems.
  17. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    A GF of mine wrote all my thank you notes while I was on my honeymoon.


    How's that for an awesome present?
  18. skwiggy

    skwiggy Well-Known Member

    WOW. :banana:
  19. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    hm...not sure how I would feel about that...


    but I love the charity idea...have seriously though about ways to incorporate that for several of our life events
  20. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I loved it, f, even though I am usually pretty standoffish. GF and a couple other friends took the wedding gifts from the reception to the house while the ex and I did newlywed stuff. When I got home, a week later, all the thank you cards were done. It was AWESOME! I did get to thank people in person, since GF kept a PERECT list of who gave what to whom and how much. It was such a stress reliever not to have to deal with thank you cards, after a year of planning and all sorts of other wedding-related BS.

    She was a life-saver, for me.

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