Wedding Gift Ideas for couples age 35+

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by ChaChaMama, May 3, 2012.

  1. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Que? You don't like cherries that cost a dollar apiece? (Exaggeration, but not by much ... :wink: ) ETA: Hah! You thought I was kidding! H&D has an organic fruit of the month club, now. $349 if you buy all twelve months. (This is a discount. If you buy individual months, it costs a fair bit more.) The strawberries come during the month of May -- according to the H&D website roughly 14 strawberries. 1.5 pounds. These are gigantic strawberries that cost, by my middle of the night, eyeball estimate, roughly $2 apiece. Yikes. But truly worth every penny.

    You're right though. I've been thinking pretty exclusively in the $500 range that CCM mentioned. but there are lots of nice, tasteful and appropriate things you can buy for less.

    One year, my friends/next door neighbors were both out of work, so they told me and the ex that they couldn't "afford much for Christmas." In retrospect, I'm not sure why they felt they had to buy us anything, but they did.

    They bought us two champagne flutes, two votive candle holders and coordinating candles, and placed it all in a beautiful gift box. Pier One -- I know this only because the box had a Pier One imprint on the side. I have no idea how much the gift cost, but it wasn't much, and it was one of the nicest gifts we got that year. IIRC, our neighbors called it a revive the romance kit, or something equally corny but sweet. We loved it. :-D
  2. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Get the [hello] out of here!
  3. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    But CCM didn't indicate when her sis was getting married (other than "soon"), so it wasn't clear whether or not invitations had gone out.
  4. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    CCM, you know your sister well. IIRC, your original question was "is Apple stock too impersonal?" Not in my book; you know she's an Apple person, and stock in something she admires is significantly more personal than cash. That said, it also is not Stuff. Some occasions are best celebrated with meaning, rather than Stuff, and it sounds like you think the Apple stock would have meaning for her. I say, go for it.

    <curmudgeon alert> On another note, am I the only person in America who thinks that registering for gifts is a bit tasteless? I understand that the gift registry is indelibly inked onto the national consciousness, but I've always found it odd to be expected to have a list of things I want. When I got married, some of my relatives asked me to register so that they could get me what I wanted. Telling them that anything they gave me would be treasured b/c it was a gift from them didn't do a damn bit of good; they wanted a list. <end curmudgeon alert>
  5. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I must have grown up in a curmudgeonly culture. Registries were considered QUITE tacky when I was a child. I think it may have been because a lot of people were one or two generations away from the Great Depression or the African-American Diaspora (or in my case both.) People didn't have a lot of money to spend on gifts, and it was considered rude to ask people to spend money they didn't have. A lot of things have changed in a generation, and people in my *birth* community have embraced registries with gusto. Maybe people got tired of receiving twenty-seven chip and dip sets.

    I'm sure CCM knows her sister and HERSELF well enough to pick a classy gift; CCM is classy.

    However, this will not stop me from lobbying for my top choices: Le Creuset (CCM's sis can throw away, give away or recycyle the less-than-awesome pots she may already have; Le Creuset lasts forever.) Fruit of the month: Who doesn't LOVE perfect fruit? Cash (or near cash in the form of stock) Always in season.

    So let it be written. So let it be done. :wink:
  6. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I'm another one who things registries are tacky...albeit rather useful. DH and I were badgered into registering, so we did, and it was promptly ignored by the vast majority of people. We tried to put a range of things on there (price-wise), but we still got complaints that there was too much expensive stuff on there...as well as too much inexpensive stuff on there. Sigh. T'was kind of a shame, too, since we got married pretty young and we actually needed a lot of the stuff on the registry. I guess people didn't feel like getting us mundane household stuff. We could have used things like brooms and sponge mops and lamps so much more than things like crystal vases and candleholders and chreches. Ah well. We could have used a set of dishes or a set of silverware, ya know? Best gift: the set of pots and pans from my parents. Thank god for that.
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Hmm. I'm seeing a theme emerge here. Best gift: a set of Le Creuset pots from my Mom. Just sayin. :wink:
  8. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    I actually agree. The first time I heard of a registry I was appalled. We weren't even going to have one, but were badgered into it. I have reluctantly accepted it as part of the WIC.

    And unfortunately we are also told what TYPES of things MUST be in the list. When I told my Mother some of the items we put in ours, she was beside herself. She was like "You can't register for THAT... no one will buy THAT! THAT is not what registries are supposed to contain" And wouldn't you know THAT was the first two things that were bought and sent to us! :) So I really think people need to start thinking outside of the box (or kitchen)

    For the 35+ crowd, how about a gift certificate to Amazon? Then they can pretty much buy whatever they choose.
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Yup. If you're going to register, register for stuff you want.

    My Mom doesn't believe in registries or in cash gifts. All of her gifts must be personal and significant. Quite a pain in the tush, is my Mom. The upside (is that a word?) is that she expressed no opinion on my registry. :wink:
  10. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    she did...May 20...
  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    This is a good point, P. Registering for random people versus registering for close family/friends is two different things.

    When I registered for my wedding and for DS, I registered MOSTLY for things I'd feel comfortable gifting -- things in the $15 to $40 range, with a few outliers. When my family asked me what I wanted/needed, I told them what I needed/wanted -- from $1 diaper pins for DS (I was delusional enough to think I'd use cloth diapers. :lol:) to a $200 gravy boat. I asked for what I wanted, regardless of price.

    Nowadays (and this is nothing to do with weddings, so please ignore it, if you choose) when people ask what I want, I usually tell them something that has a range of prices, so I can get what i want and they can spend what they want.


    Example for me: A new blender for my smoothies (could be twenty bucks at Walmart or hundreds of bucks at a specialty shop.)


    Example for DS: A Star Wars Lego Set (Could be a $10 drone or the $500 Death Star)

    Either way, when I'm on the receiving end, I try to give the gifter both an idea of what I want AND some wiggle room. :)
  12. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    ChaChaMama... do they own their home? That would also steer my choices.
  13. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Good point. In the vicinity of where (I think) you live, CCM, there's Safeway, and maybe even Kroger, unless I miss my guess. Get them a $500 Home Depot or Lowe's gift card when you go grocery shopping and get yourself a dollar a gallon discount on your next gas fill-up! :wink: :lol:
  14. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    I'd rather write a thousand thank you notes with a dip pen than speak to ten people on the phone myself...I hate talking to people. In fact, I'd be torn between a big formal wedding and having to deal with everyone in person (I hate trying to figure out who my relatives are and how I'm related to them again-it happens when you're the second-youngest of thirty-seven first cousins on ONE side-thank God there's no close relatives on the other or I'd never know who anyone is) and having one like a Cunard wedding on the QM2, where I could fully anticipate most invitees just declining and sending a gift. As you can imagine with that many cousins, most relatives would pretty much have to send something given how often my parents have given gifts over the years. Favorite one: seeing the wine glasses my cousin/dad's niece/goddaughter picked out--they were HUGE. Could hold half a bottle, easy.

    She had a casual wedding, by Chicago standards, anyway. She actually said my Dad could wear his bib overalls if he wanted. She would have been cool with that, too! (My aunt and the bride's sister, however, would have hit the roof, so dad didn't, fun as tweaking that particular aunt might be.)
  15. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    We are so twins. :cheers:
  16. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Two things: One: Y'all are messing with me, which is okay, because I love youse guys anyways. (Philadelphia-area colloquial expression. You mess with me; I mess with you. Turnabout is fair play :wink: )

    Two: This is my kinda wine glass.



  17. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Add me to the list of people who would rather write thank you cards than call people, any day. In fact, and I hate to admit this, I write thank you cards specifically to avoid having to call people.
  18. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Yeah. I hear ya. The way I was raised (I told you my Mom is weird!) it was wrong to not send a thank you card, but also wrong to send them late, whatever late means. There was a statute of limitations on the things. Eh. I internalized some of my Mom's weirdness. Sue me.

    Damn! I wish I'd never mentioned that particular well-loved, but apparently controversial, wedding gift of mine. What gives with the knee-jerk reactions around thank you cards? *shrug*
  19. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    not sure the reactions are knee jerk...not mine anyway...quite the opposite in my case...well thought out and long held....sort of feel the same way about christmas cards...not worth doing unless they can be done personally and thoughtfully...I don't feel in any way knee jerk or defensive or stridently about what others do...but I have a strong sense of what I have elected to do

    but I would concur about being from a culture wherein a timely thank you was expected...timely being probably inside a month for both things...longer for weddings and funerals for obvious reasons of volume
  20. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    another thought on gifts (can we please get back to that?) is to consider whether or not they have a yard and would like anything to plant...sometimes "we planted that tree when we got married" can be a very cool thing

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