General Dance Discussion > Went on a date with someone from dance, I need some advice

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Backstreet, Jun 18, 2007.

  1. Ron Obvious

    Ron Obvious New Member

    No, but I've recently developed a fear of not being politically correct. Probably exists such a phobia proper...
  2. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    i think it can, actually... i happen to understand it as something quite fixed between two people, even if each person may interpret it differently. for example, there may not be a lot of excellent communication chemistry, but perhaps one of the individuals doesn't really need that, while the other does...

    anyway... looks, availability, and intelligence are all subjectively perceived as well, so... same thing, really. :)
  3. Ron Obvious

    Ron Obvious New Member

    Well, you yourself said two people. You can only talk about chemisty between two people, not chemistry in one guy (or girl). Of course being socially adept means you are more likely to interact well with other people, but then it's social skills and not chemistry. I define chemistry as something you cannot (or don't know how to) define in concrete terms, but that somehow makes you like or dislike a certain person.

    That's why I was running for shelter.

    Actually only looks falls into that subjective category, but neither this is completely subjective. If you take a large sample of people assessing the looks on other people, there will exist a correlation between the objects. It won't be totally random.
  4. spectator

    spectator Member

    Single by choice i'll have you know! Ain't no spinsters in my parish! i'm a Spachelor!

    Come to the dark side.....

    Just ask her out backstreet. worse that'll happen, she says no, it's her loss. Worth a go matey!
  5. redhead

    redhead New Member

    I failed to return messages from guys I liked at that age... And my (now) husband made quite a few attempts before we started dating (although I was older then)... I don't think not returning a message is a good indicator.
    Phone her to invite her to see a movie or something like that and see whether she sounds like she's glad you called.
  6. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    sure...we are all different...and with age I have learned to make a man work for it...but at that way...if he called, I pounced...meh...I am a sample of one but I think not that uncommon at that age...again, hope I'm wrong
  7. NielsenE

    NielsenE Active Member

    hmmm, when I was that age.... if I called, I lost a friend.... every frickin time...
  8. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    that is just the cruel injustice of that's never mutual...
  9. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    very interesting points... :)

    i define chemistry as the way two people experience a "meeting point" of their various energies, be they emotional, intellectual, sexual, communicative, intuitive... might be the way you like someone, the way you feel around them, the way you feel or don't feel understood or "seen"... various ways of experiencing excitement, inspiration, calm, being turned on creatively... i imagine two energetic blueprints coming together and experiencing the various ways they vibrate in or out of harmony, and the ways they do or do not nourish each other...

    as for availability & intelligence, i still see that as subjective... for example, you could be a nobel prize laureate, but if you're the type that spouts off about something you haven't taken the time to study first, i'm going to think you're a bleedin' idjit. :rolleyes:

    and one person's availability (for a lifetime of conjugal bliss) could seriously clash with another's concept of same (an evening of post-dancing ecstasy)... :cool:
  10. Backstreet

    Backstreet New Member

    Well today is her birthday so assuming she comes to class tonight I will see her. I will also see her tomorrow.
  11. dancin/dj

    dancin/dj Member

    its hard to tell if your being played, but i would not recomend trying to kiss someone on a first date(there are exceptions ) but generally speaking chill with that....
  12. meow

    meow New Member

    :rolleyes: I am quoting myself and reiterating - just get on with it or forget it.
  13. Backstreet

    Backstreet New Member

    Well gave her the card today and she liked it a lot. I also wrote an inside joke between us in it and she laughed at that and seemed to enjoy it. To be honest I didn't talk to her much today though, during ballet we had bar work nearly the entire time and I was on the center bar and she was on one near the mirror.

    I do want to try asking her out tomorrow face to face.
  14. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    Backstreet, from your answers to the various questions here, if you're really interested in this girl - I would say give it a chance. There doesn't seem to be enough negatives to indicate that she definitely is not interested.

    You will have your answer soon enough after more interactions. Hope it goes well.
  15. Backstreet

    Backstreet New Member

    Yeah I was planning on asking her out again tomorrow when I see her. Just make it simple and ask her "If she wants to go out again" and if she says yes ask her what her plans are for the weekend or if she wants to get together Friday or something.

    I would rather give it a shot then to never try at all. I would rather know then wonder what if.

    On a side note, I don't consider myself a bad looking guy or anything either. (At least I don't think of myself as scary LOL)

    Ignore the other two photos, they are quite old. That camera phone picture is recent like only a few weeks old.

    Edit: Everyone here is so helpful and nice by the way. That is why I love posting here :) -- So thanks so far for all the replies and thoughts and advice.
  16. spectator

    spectator Member

    so what are your thoughts on dating older women...?
  17. meow

    meow New Member

    That sounds like a plan and I wish you luck. But I would worry if she brings her sister along again.....
  18. Backstreet

    Backstreet New Member

    Haha yeah. Actually the story goes (Jumping back to last week) I had asked her out Tuesday and she said she was tired. But then she asked me what I was doing the next day and if I wanted to go to a movie or something. When the next came around, she text me about 3 hours before I was suppose to pick her up saying that her mother was going out and didn't want her to leave her sister alone and asked if she could come. Now I know her mother did in fact go out that night whether the sister thing was by choice or not is a mystery. If she did bring her again, that'd be really strange lol.

    Age is just a number if two people have a connection then thats great. I remember I had a crush on a dance teacher who was older then me. I never asked her out though hehe.
  19. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    Watch your step. Older women have a tendency to eff with your head, want you for the 'connection' and feel insecure and push you out for the age difference - both at the same time. It might still be worth it, but maybe its too much trouble and not enough RoI... :rolleyes:

    esp. beware of spectator. all signs point that she is really good at effing with you head... ;)
  20. spectator

    spectator Member

    darn it. Foiled again....

    I will get my claws into some nubile, young, hottie yet... you just wait...Mwah hah hah ha!

    ps i'm not that much older...

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