What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Paula M, Jul 29, 2010.

  1. TangoRocks

    TangoRocks Member

    Looks, or the mini-skirt might get someone a first dance--how enjoyable the dance was gets the second, third, and n-th dances. That is unless you are at a venue where most people are present with the express purpose of picking up girls/guys. (which, ironically, is pretty much how I view the salsa scene as, and one reason I don't do much of salsa) Other factors are familiarity, i.e. if I had already danced with someone previously, or took a class with them or know them from elsewhere I am more likely to dance with them, especially if they can dance well. If I am there just to dance, I'd rather dance with a 45 year old who is a great follower (regardless of looks, clothing or makeup) than the 21 year old blonde bombshell in the micro-skirt who can't dance to save her life.

    But your mileage, as they say, may vary...
     
  2. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Yes. That's life. Attractive people are more attractive. Because they're, umm, attractive.

    And yes, men are simple animals who react to "packaging", as a female friend of mine once referred to it.

    That said, ability counts more. In tango, if you're a top follower, you'll always get asked, no matter what you're wearing or how you look.

    And in the UK, there's more "predation" in other dance scenes than there is in tango.

    EDIT: And, yes, of course it works the other way round, just not as much. Women do react to good-looking men, but they're more interested in good dancing men. Hence the preponderance of 80-year-old guys dancing with 20-year-old girls.

    Yes, that's my ambition, how could you tell?
     
  3. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Re: packaging

    Morning Dave! I find this is much too simple. Not only men are to blame. There is a race within the female community for the best positions. Once I heard the saying: Women are the only prey that attacs.
     
  4. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    As for the actual topic, my top 5 reasons for asking a (unknown) woman to dance are:

    1. Attitude
    2. Ability
    3. Looks
    4. errr...
    5. ...that's it.

    So, for example, if a woman is looking open to invitation and approachable, that trumps a good dancer who looks snooty and arrogant for me.
     
  5. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Wearing very tall tango shoes is a good start. They enhance your leg line, your boobs, and your butt. There are few men who aren't into one of those things. :raisebro:
     
  6. Madahlia

    Madahlia Member

    Darn! I knew i should've bought some flash new CIFs ready for the Mango. Still, I'd rather surprise people by dancing better than my shoes than the other way around. Gorgeous shoes on a dodgy dancer, always a sad sight!

    It's worth noting that wearing excessively tall tango shoes may worsen your dancing by challenging your natural balance and making your ankles wobble, not to mention the frown of pain across your brow. But hey, if that butt is twitching away seductively it will all be worthwhile.
     
  7. Captain Jep

    Captain Jep New Member

    @Madahlia ... lol ....

    Well I think the real question here is .. what would make me dance with someone who is a beginner follower?

    Personally I think it's a big plus when someone has extensive experience of another partner dance. It shows they have the ability to understand music and the willingness to work hard at their technique. I often have good dances with experienced salseras.

    I also dont think 40 is that old :) I guess it will depend on a) the size of the local tango community and b) the number of 20 and 30 somethings in it. But in many communities 40 is still "hot". You know yourself and make the best of what you have. You also probably understand and are tolerant of men in a way your 20 year old self never was.

    FWIW I probably wouldnt dance with a woman who was in a miniskirt either ;)
     
  8. Mladenac

    Mladenac Active Member

    I would choose these:

    1. height (since I am 6'2" i.e. 188 cm tall)
    2. feet - walk, how she hold her feet
    3. overall posture in the embrace (CE and OE)
    4. musicality with other dancer.
    5. the vibe or the personality
     
  9. Lilly_of_the_valley

    Lilly_of_the_valley Well-Known Member

    Pretty shoes and body parts

    Hahahahaha. The guy who asks a lady will not see his partner's shoes during the dance ( well if he dances open, and constantly looking at the floor he probably will, but it is another story), nor he will see her butt. However he will feel plenty if she has sloppy footwork, bad balance in those shoes, and when she wiggles her butt and hips... no matter how pretty the shoes or above mentioned body parts look, that will make leading her very hard. All that will make dancing with her feel horrible.
     
  10. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    I agree with all this. FWIW, what kind of shoes she is wearing does not factor at all into whether I ask someone to dance.


    Don't exactly agree with this, however.
     
  11. Lilly_of_the_valley

    Lilly_of_the_valley Well-Known Member

    One of the most common beginner ( and at times, not-so-beginner) follower's mistakes is that she moves her hips too much. Any extraneous movement, especially in that area, that is center and quite heavy :) makes following less accurate, dancing of the couple less energy effective, and therefore more labourous, less elegant.

    One famous old milonguera in her interview to El Tangauta said "Nowadays some women seem to forget that tango is a dance that you dance on the floor, with your feet, and not with your a$$" .

    If you don't agree with that, well.... fine with me. :)
     
  12. JohnEm

    JohnEm Active Member

    FWIW I do agree.

    The hips should be still, hip wiggling is "noise" or interference with
    connection between the upper body and the floor. Neither partners' hips
    should be loose, that way the physical communication can occur such that
    the woman can respond positively to the lead and the man can receive
    the messages telling him of those responses.

    Back on topic, seeing a lady hip wiggling is a good reason not to ask a lady
    to dance. Oh sorry, we're looking for the five reasons to ask!
     
  13. newbie

    newbie Active Member

    1 - Beauty
    2 - Dance skills
    3 - Is the nearest available follower and the DJ is playing a song that I just cannot skip
    4 - knows me, has noticed me and will complain if not invited
     
  14. Lilly_of_the_valley

    Lilly_of_the_valley Well-Known Member

    BTW #4 is a good explanation why new followers do not get invited at times. Ladies, see? it is not because you are too old, not pretty enough, and your skirt is too long!
     
  15. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    When I'm thinking about who to ask, one of the things I observe is the woman's facial expression. If she looks like she is totally involved in feeling what her partner is doing, that's good. If she has an analytical expression, it implies to me that she is thinking too much. If she is talking to her partner or glancing around the room, that indicates to me that she is not paying enough attention to feeling the dance her partner may be trying to give her.
     
  16. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Interesting, I view the facial expression of the follower, more as an indication of how the leader is doing.
     
    AnnaN likes this.
  17. AndaBien

    AndaBien Well-Known Member

    Yes, that's true. I try to take that into consideration. If a leader is not giving his partner anything to pay attention too, it's not her fault.
     
  18. Zoopsia59

    Zoopsia59 Well-Known Member

    Or if he gives her too much to pay attention to, she may have to start thinking... ;)
     
  19. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    Get your dance geek on and check out this scholarly article.

    http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v438/n7071/full/nature04344.html

    Ahhh, if anyone reads it, maybe you can tell us what it means. (kidding, sort of)
     
  20. bastet

    bastet Active Member

    that too.
     

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