What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Paula M, Jul 29, 2010.

  1. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Here is what Google Translate provided (with some minor edits).

    Jon Milonguera!

    MY space. MI catharsis. MY opinion.
    Tango damn it give me much pleasure sometimes, and sometimes I just feel like cagarte to blows!

    turn me bring me bring ME DANCE


    November 12, 2010

    Because a man takes you out but if you see "hello you re re"

    You push the head
    Warms your head
    Esito is dancing with you.
    Esito not dancing with you: s
    The dance hall / milonga / new and you dance the opposite (see variations and crosses with each style)
    This HUNTING
    This caught * is married
    Is the employer which fawn hiding in the bushes waiting for that nod to some "[baskside orifice]" and afraid.
    Someone said he had something with you and as a male of the herd, who seeks another hermbra court. (Seek the turd you burned)
    He does not like more
    It apichona with your embrace.
    Salis much on track and gets jealous (you you have to be petrified toooooooooooooooooda night waiting for him, if one now clear Galician contato!)
    Fatten
    Weight Loss
    These too cute and sexy (as is well screwed up, while all the cabecearte huddle for you or recorded)
    Do not stay comfortable for cabecearte.
    Do not know nod
    It has a diagram of pitching and you're in the position 21, wait che.
    Just when you you see these scum with your friends and get angry, you do not understand because it gets you out the next 7 years! (Reason for this note back to the starting top)
    Tenes [backside] face (it apichona more)
    See that you fight with all the mines around.
    You will have bad breath
    You will have the smell of goat
    You will have good smell and Esito
    Very nice dance and Esito
    He once claimed to not dance much and now I look like a 'desesperadita "
    I shot wave (in their way and tells you you nor did you) and anger because they grabbed trip (re recalculate)
    Got bored of dancing with you
    Dancing evolved and you follow in the same.
    Milonguiear got bored and now just going to jerk, stink morphs and sitting ...
    You will not be singing.
    This confident when you want cabecearte you going to come out (and rightly)
    The next will not stop looking at it and is afraid that if you leave him you header from the other.
    The back will not stop looking at it and is afraid that if you leave him you header from the other.
    The front will not stop looking at it and is afraid that if you leave him you header from the other.
    This former.
    This current
    Are all.
    Smells like goat
    This all sweaty and I'm ashamed that so touches the back wetback
    Tired
    Never saw
    It is agreed that, to dance with you at another milonga.
    It weights.
    Do you hurt your hand.
    You step
    Knees collide
    Planets collide? ... Better not get me out then, my life is pretty [crappy] to complicate us with love ...
  2. Hock Siew

    Hock Siew New Member

    This is often a major factor for me when deciding whom to ask for a dance! :)
  3. Hock Siew

    Hock Siew New Member

    I sometimes make conversation with strangers prior to asking them for a dance. Not so much to assess their standard of dancing but more to "break the ice" and to gauge whether they are looking for or open to a dance. Usually, especially if they are friendly, I would ask them for a dance (unless they appear busy/occupied/uninterested or indicated as such).
  4. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    Hock Siew, that sounds like a great approach! :cheers:
  5. Hock Siew

    Hock Siew New Member

    For me, when I want to dance, it sometimes depends on whom is available at the time. Sometimes, by the time you find the person whom you specifically wish to dance with, she might already be on the floor; or she might be unavailable (e.g. gone to get a drink, sitting it out, etc). I could just dance with whoever is the most easily available at the time, and dance with that other person later :)
  6. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    LIFE IS TOO SHORT for all this argy bargy..

    I go with the quote from The Liver Birds* (pronounced to match alive)
    man: "Yer dancing?"
    woman "yer asking?
    man "I'm asking."
    woman "I'm dancing."

    The Liver Birds is a British situation comedy, set in Liverpool, Merseyside, North-West of England, which aired on BBC1 from 1969 to 1978
  7. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Right, this thread's a monster... OK, first things first.
    That whole thing reads like something written by a man who wants women to think he's sensitive and caring. In other words, it's rubbish - I don't believe that "looks" come nowhere in the top 10.

    My three criteria are, in this order:

    1. Attitude
    2. Ability
    3. Attractiveness
  8. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Attitude and ability are broad categories, that I think the post tried to break down into less ambiguous categories, like the embrace, ability to follow, experience level, cabeceo, prior interactions, etc. While I might of added a few more selections to the poll, the word ability means different things to different people.

    Out of curiosity, does attractiveness really matter to you, once you've danced with them? It doesn't to me. I'd much rather have the good embrace.

    The funny thing is that some beginners (who might be perceived as young and pretty) figure out the embrace pretty quickly, and then get lots of dances over people that can do more steps. There are some "intermediate" dancers that either don't desire to, never learned, or don't remember how to simply give a good embrace and stay with their dance partner. Of course everyone is different, and that's one of the interesting things about tango, trying to adapt to who you are dancing with.

    There are different strategies that people employ. Some will work hard to adapt to as many styles/preferences as possible, and thus get more dances. While others will not try to adapt their style to others, and thus, they dance less (and many of these people seem to be OK with this).
  9. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    No, I prefer the inner beauty of... sorry, I couldn't keep a straight face there.

    Looks matter, to everyone. And the key thing is that this factor is third on my list - why does everyone always ignore that placement?

    From examining many local leads, I'd say that attractiveness is not only their first criterion, but it's their only one. I at least admit it.
  10. Zoopsia59

    Zoopsia59 Well-Known Member

    Well, thanks for trying... I gave up about 1/3 way thru.
  11. Zoopsia59

    Zoopsia59 Well-Known Member

    Neither do I...

    There's a cause and effect thing that plays into this as well... a very attractive follower who never improves may still get dances occasionally (although many good leaders may give up on her over time) however, an attractive follower WILL get dances and therefore have that chance to improve. A woman who is viewed as unattractive will have to already be good to get dances.

    (basically, some of you are saying this every time you write that skill is more important than looks even though you don't realize that what you are implying is that you do expect the less attractive woman to be skilled before YOU dance with her)

    So how does this less attractive follower get so good in the first place? Sure, dance ability may trump visual perfection for many of you guys, but the dance ability doesn't come from nowhere... it comes from dancing.

    Pretty young things simply get more chances to develop from the start of their journey at social dances. A pretty girl who is a beginner will get asked to dance. The fact that she isn't great yet won't deter that, and in fact, good leaders may jump at the chance to "mentor" her, which makes her even more popular (I saw that play out rather obviously here with someone recently) This type of follower has the opportunity to improve rapidly because she gets to dance with the better leaders from the start. (and rapid improvement also impresses people since it implies a greater amount of natural talent)

    An "unattractive" woman has to do more of her improving in classes and lessons before she gets much action at a social dance. Even then, some will still get overlooked because in most communities, leaders don't have to choose between young and pretty vs skilled. They can have both.

    You only have to look at who is sitting out much of the time. At milongas I go to, it's the middle aged (and older) conservatively dressed women who don't look like show dancers even though most are divinely skilled tango dancers. And it's not like the leaders simply don't know that, because they've all been in the community for YEARS.
  12. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    There was a poll and that thread on pity, courtesy, and other obligatory dances two years ago
    http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=34325
  13. Zoopsia59

    Zoopsia59 Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure how your post relates to what I said.

    Unless you are implying that dancing with a wonderful older dancer who isn't young and pretty qualifies as a "pity" or "courtesy" dance.
  14. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Zoopsia, I called it obligatory dances in my thread. Pity and courtesy was not my usage!
  15. Zoopsia59

    Zoopsia59 Well-Known Member

    I don't know what "your thread" was.. I went to the link you provided and the poll was "Do you give pity, courtesy, charity dances?"

    Anyway... I think you made my point for me... you call dancing with skilled dancers that aren't young and pretty "obligatory" dances... or so it would seem based on the part of my post you quoted.
  16. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

  17. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I could not have said it better myself!
  18. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    OK, so how many women choose THEIR dance partners based on looks? I certainly don't.
  19. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I choose based on who asks me. If they ask, and if they have not been relegated to the Do Not Dance With list (which is ridiculously small), I dance with them.
  20. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    Even if they're fat, ugly, old, or bald?

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