Tango Argentino > What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Paula M, Jul 29, 2010.

  1. Ampster

    Ampster Active Member

    Very cool! :cheers:
  2. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    No because everybody is chatting too. And if you start dancing while everybody is still chatting it will be like a elephant (not a baby one) in a porcelain shop.
  3. LoveTango

    LoveTango Member

    That's great!:)
  4. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member


  5. Ampster

    Ampster Active Member

    That's probably the nuance from where you're at. It's not the norm in the cities that I've danced in. If that's how it's done there, then it's cool.
  6. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    I haven't made it out to the West Coast yet for tango. Do people start dancing right away, or do they chat for a bit (similar to BsAs).
  7. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    In my experience in the Sacramento area, people might chat for a moment, but they generally get to business pretty quickly...even if just getting in the embrace and feeling each other out a little before actually moving.
  8. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    Alex Krebs, Robert Hauk and others have gone to great lengths to try to bring Buenos Aires to Portland. So, I guess you would have to say there is no great rush to start dancing. At the same time there is no rule about how long you are "supposed" to wait. That "rule" would be to wait long enough to get the feel of the song that has just started. Wating through an "introduction" section, before the main rhythm kicks in would be an example of why you might want to wait.

    And if you start before others, and you've had the type of instruction that I have, you would simply dance on "your tile" (in place that is). Being able to use your own space effectively is a very useful skill.
  9. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    On the East Coast, we definitely wait a bit, but we don't really all start at the same time (very annoying when I get rammed while still talking, by the first person starting).

  10. Ampster

    Ampster Active Member

    Normally wait a bit at the beginning of the tanda. Then, in between songs the wait gets progressively shorter and shorter. It's more like a "pause." Sometimes it's more like a pause without breaking the embrace.

    If there's someone blocking the line of dance then you "dance on your tile" until they start to move (Giros are particularly handy). Hopefully, they'll get the hint. If the couple insists on taking way too long and blocking everyone else's lane... then common sense and good navigation skill will prevail.
  11. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Yeah, that's a useful skill around these parts too. But in a few places, you also need to know how to duck and dodge errant missiles, along with (when there's no place to go) how to pivot, so you get rammed instead of your follower.

  12. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    Warning: Whine coming up!

    Well, mystery solved. It has nothing to do with bringing a date or wearing low heels. I went out last night without my husband because he was sick. I wore high heels. I took the lesson, although there weren't many in it. I got one tanda with one of my favorite leaders, and that was IT. I finally asked a man I'm friendly with to dance with me, an he kindly obliged, but that was it for the evening.

    Obviously, my dancing is just not good enough, despite what everyone tells me. It's fine for if there isn't much to choose from, but if there are more than five or so really good follows, I'm out. I even thought if I stuck it out 'til midnight, after some of the other single ladies left, maybe the leaders would get tired of dancing with their favorites over and over and over and over again and finally give me some love. nope.

    Maybe I'll skip the dances for a while. My ego can only take so much.
  13. LoveTango

    LoveTango Member

    Don't give up so quick. If there are more than one milongas in your area, try them out, but you have to stick with one for a while, because it takes time for people to get to know you. My experience is that at some milongas, I get to dance with good leaders from beginning to end, while at other milongas I only get invitations from the few leaders who know me so that I sit a lot.
  14. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Hi Jennifer, but that is the problem. Women who dance most of the time with their partner have a rough ride. The community is very sensitive about this fact. But if you start dancing with different men from the very first moment on, it is actually very easy to get along on your own. If you are integrated, the tango coummunity is like a great family, but you have to invest into your clique. And that is absolutely no question of your dancing skills. When I started dancing I really was such an untalented guy, but I alway danced with the best women around. The spirit counts, as far as I believe, anyway.
  15. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Don't give up. Keep at it and get better. And realize that everyone has off nights. I have had the exact same thing happen to me on more than one occasion. It gets better...as you do.
  16. rbazsz

    rbazsz New Member

    Personally I'm more likely to ask the plain looking women over the age of 40 to dance if they have the right body language. I definitely prefer women with dresses or skirts but that's not a precondition for asking them to dance. Some of them just seem to give out the message that if I ask they will say yes.

    Although I love to look at the young women with mini-skirts they tend to intimidate me, so I don't ask them. Every once in a while I'll get lucky and one of them asks me!
  17. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    Nice try, but won't work. As much as I like my favourite followers, I never dance more than one tanda with the same lady. Still, once there are no favourites any more, I don't switch to non-favourites, I go to the bar or leave or sit/watch.
    The opposite (coming very early) might work though. I tend to keep my best dances for the end of the milonga, and if I invite an unknown follower (or a beginner whom I know is a beginner), it will happen during the first half of the milonga. It also has something to do with the music. Very often, the DJ starts with easy-to-dance-but-boring pieces, and the more interesting ones come later.
  18. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    I think guys have it easier starting out. As long as you can deal with some women turning you down, if you ask enough different people, you can find someone to dance with. A woman can go a long stretch without someone asking her to dance, especially if she's new.
  19. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    Pretty much everyone has nights like this. Things will get better. My suggestion is to solicit feedback at practicas, but pick and choose who you ask for feedback from. Also remember that everyone doesn't like the exact same things, so you will get some conflicting advice. Take advice from the best dancers more seriously, and of course, if most people are saying similar things, you should take that advice seriously, as well.

    When the wife and I started tango, We had issues from time to time, trying to figure things out. She had a dance background (ballet, albeit many years ago), and despite what I told her, she seemed to think that since she had done ballet in the past, this would be easy. Of course I had plenty of issues too, but for a different reason. I liked a lot of the music and it inspired me to try to do things. However I didn't have the skills needed to express myself (nor have any of the skills needed to lead it for the followers).

    Now that we've been doing it for a while, I think her ballet experience probably has helped her, but it certainly did not early on. As for me, somewhere on my journey, I discovered this magical mystical thing sometimes referred to as "connection", which gave me an additional way to view things. Then my dance started to improve. In just a few years I went from sucks, all the way to mediocre. I feel the sky is the limit for me now.

  20. Madahlia

    Madahlia Member

    Thanks, dchester, for this simple but perceptive and empathetic comment. Some of the responses from leaders on this thread have been smug and self-centred enough to make me want to give up tango completely but you are a real gent. :D

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